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Original poster

Is this illegal? Leaving kids alone

21 replies

mummy22girls1013 · 20/09/2020 11:08

So I've been thinking for ages how to word this, I dont even know if I'm posting in the right place so I'm just going to ask this.. what would you do if you found out your ex had been leaving your 9 year old daughter in charge of your 6 year old and his 1 year old alone locked in the house while he goes to the shop? (And your ex is one of those that is a bully and thinks he is the greatest parent on the planet and can do no wrong ever)
So stressed and dont know what to do

OP posts:
SomeHalfHumanCreatureThing · 20/09/2020 11:12

There's no legal age, but leaving a 9yo in charge of a baby isn't ok.

www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone

You could ring NSPCC for advice. How long is he leaving them alone for?

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 20/09/2020 11:13

I think it’s more about guidance than a legal directive.

KenDodd · 20/09/2020 11:15

I think it depends how far away the shop is. If it's close he might only be gone 2 or 3 minutes.

Interested in this thread?

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1 year olds 6 year olds 9 year olds Families
JaJaDingDong · 20/09/2020 11:21

How long does it take him to get to the shop? And how capable is the 9 year old?

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 20/09/2020 11:22

I would be talking to a solicitor about that.
A nine year old is too young to care for a 1 year old.
And it isn't OK that the door is locked.
(If they were able to get out and there was a neighbour the older child could go to for help...I might feel differently).
I am an extremely slack parent OP.
My kids play out unsupervised and run errands to the shop. If I think something's not OK....it probably isn't OK.

Mamette · 20/09/2020 11:25

what would you do if you found out your ex had been leaving your 9 year old daughter in charge of your 6 year old and his 1 year old alone locked in the house

I would halt contact for now and seek legal advice.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 20/09/2020 11:26

I wouldn’t be ok with this.

At my school, we don’t let children in Y5/6 (so 9, 10 or 11) walk home with younger siblings. This is because it is a big responsibility to look after a younger child and too much to put on a still quite young child.

I would not be happy with a 9yo looking after a 1 and 6yo.

Palavah · 20/09/2020 11:40

Mothers have been crucified on here for asking if they were ok to do this as a one-off in an emergency.

Ihaveoflate · 20/09/2020 13:20

If it was just the older two, and they were very sensible/ knew how to get help in an emergency etc, I might think it was ok to be left for 5 minutes to pop to the shop across the road.

In no circumstance should another child be left responsible for a 1 year old. Anything could happen - I have a 14 month old and I can't take my eyes of her for a second. The thought of leaving her in the care of 9 year old makes me shudder.

Frazzled2207 · 20/09/2020 13:22

No idea about the law but def not ok unless perhaps it’s literally a 2 minute trip.
I was left alone for short periods from age 7 or so but I was always very responsible and never had responsibility for younger siblings

Theimpossiblegirl · 20/09/2020 13:26

The locked door and the younger child after the big no-nos. Too much responsibility and no way to get help.
Is the mother of the youngest on the scene?

Theimpossiblegirl · 20/09/2020 13:26

*are the big no nos

IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls · 20/09/2020 13:33

Big no nos.

A child under the age of 14 shouldn't be left to care for younger children- it can lead to a criminal charge if deemed as neglect .

Honestly if they were mine I wouldn't let them go to him & i would be seeking support from children's social care .

midnightstar66 · 20/09/2020 13:41

My ex does this all the time with my now 10 and 7 year old. Since they were your DC's age. No one cared, not the courts nor solicitors. Obviously the 1 year old is a different matter but then she's not your 1 year old so not sure where you stand with that. Personally I happily leave my sensible 10 year old (in our quiet cul de sac with at least 20 neighbours she can call on if there was a problem) but I'd never leave the 2 together. They don't get on and imo 7 is still too young. I wish the law gave clearer guidance.

differentnameforthis · 20/09/2020 13:47

I don't think in any scenario, a 9yr old is capable of looking after a baby!

While there doesn't appear to be an age limit, it does say that it is an offence to leave them alone if it places them at risk, and I would say that a 9yr old supervising a 6yr old and a baby is very risky!

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 20/09/2020 15:50

I think it depends on the nature of your arrangements for looking after the kids. Has it been done by a court? Are SS involved? Or is it something you guys have worked out yourselves? If theres authorities involved you can let them know and stop contact until your satisfied somethings been put in place. If its a personal arrangment its tricky if he wont be told its wrong because him changing depends on him listening to you. I dunno, phone the police and say there are young children that have been left alone when you know hes out?

Sunnydaysstillhere · 20/09/2020 15:52

Personally I would make sure the baby's dm found out...

RandomMess · 20/09/2020 16:17

No it isn't ok and if anything happened he would be held legally responsible.

9 year old on her own for 10 minutes if they are sensible and he was nearby is so so so different to leaving with a 6 year old let alone a toddler 😳

RedRumTheHorse · 20/09/2020 16:27

The police wouldn't be interested if you just phoned them up.

If the arrangement isn't one that is imposed by a court there is nothing stopping you turning up when you know he's out shopping to give something to one of your kids that they "forgot" to take with them. If they cannot open the door as they are locked in, then you need to call the police and fire brigade to get them out.

SnuggyBuggy · 20/09/2020 16:44

It's too young to be left responsible for a 1 year old

FizzingWhizzbee123 · 20/09/2020 17:28

Leaving a 9 yr old alone for 10 minutes to nip to the shop is one thing. Leaving a 9 year old in charge of a 1 year old is totally different and not ok IMO

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