Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Am I a mean mummy?

30 replies

hoxtonchick · 18/10/2004 19:45

ds is 2.9 and goes to a great nursery 2 days a week whilst I'm at work. He's in the middle room, with children aged 2.5-3.5ish. In the past few weeks, quite a lot of children have had birthdays & they have little parties/bring cake in. I'm fine with this, & ds really enjoys it. HOWEVER, there are party bags. I did think it was a bit silly for such little children, & won't do it when it's ds's birthday (though I will make him a cake to take in. Apparently it has to have Smarties on it...), but after this afternoon when ds was literally bouncing off the walls having scoffed the contents of today's offering on the way home I'm actually quite annoyed. We're not super-strict, ds has chocolate occasionally, but very rarely sweets & I do object to nursery (which makes a big deal out of its healthy eating policy/has a deal with Waitrose for organic food etc) giving them out (though I appreciate it's other parents brining them in). Also, we live in very mixed area in socio-economic terms & it's quite possible that there are families who couldn't afford to shell out for 20 party bags & why should they be made to feel bad.

Ooooh, this is a bit of a rant. Am I right to be irritated, should I say anything to nursery or should I just chill out & let ds enjoy his treats?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

kalex · 18/10/2004 19:48

NO I would be really irratated, IN FACT I woould be livid. They get birthday at nursery, and on that day that get no afternnon snack, but a party bag is totally unacceptable.

My DD gets hers home and at night I chuck out all the things she is not allowed to eat.

Party Bags are bad news and DEFO should not be given at nusrey

edam · 18/10/2004 19:48

Hi HC, don't really know the answer I'm afraid but wanted to say hello!

nutcracker · 18/10/2004 19:48

I think the nursery should be giving the bags to you so that you decide when or if he has them.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Original poster

hoxtonchick · 18/10/2004 19:50

Hi edam.

Glad I'm not the only twitchy one. I think dp has just had problems getting ds to sleep he's on such a sugar high!

OP posts:

frogs · 18/10/2004 19:53

Confess to being evil mother who makes children hand over party bags for frisking.

Chupa chups lollies are my pet hate -- somebody please tell me what is the point of them, apart from keeping dentists in business?

codswallop · 18/10/2004 19:54

I would let im have eiot at a time you decide - but give him one on the way home

hercules · 18/10/2004 19:55

Party bags at two?!?1

Original poster

hoxtonchick · 18/10/2004 19:56

It was quite funny today (I have calmed down a bit now), the first thing he said was "I going to share these with mummy & daddy" then before I could stop him he'd wolfed the lot pausing only to say "dis one is beautiful". Poor deprived boy .

you can get sugar free chupa chops, frogs, I hoard them when I find them!

OP posts:

zebra · 18/10/2004 19:58

Here here Frogs!!
DS's 5th birthday is coming up & I must confess I am a bit aghast at the expectation I should send in to school sweets/cakes for the day. Don't know why I hadn't encountered this custom before, but I really hate it. I don't want to. Moreover, I also confiscate party bags. They get one of the sweet/chockie things in the bag right away, the rest goes into the treats tin -- and they have to earn their treats, too.

That said, oh the shame of it , I am planning a Pinata full of naughties for DS's birthday party, but that's parlty a nostalgic weakness on my part (Pinata busting a fond memory of my own childhood).

codswallop · 18/10/2004 20:01

aw you lot are horrible!

Ill come around and take your chocolate away!

Skate · 18/10/2004 20:12

The only thing that would concern me is that things in the bags are chokeable (is that a real word!?). My ds has had a few where I've been gobsmacked at the contents so I'd want to check them just for this!

I've no problem with party bags with sweets in in general though, unless they are getting them a few times a week or something!

That's what being a kid is all about - TREATS!

codswallop · 18/10/2004 20:15

hear hear skate!

marthamoo · 18/10/2004 20:34

I've never heard of party bags being given out - ridiculous imho!

I remember being absolutely gobsmacked when ds1 came out of reception clutching a birthday snack he'd been given - a funsize Snickers bar. He'd never had nuts! There are two children in his year with peanut allergies and even they have come out with Snickers bars/nut Quality Streets etc., from time to time (cue for their Mums to fly across the playground to wrest it out of their little hands!). To be fair to the staff the kids are under instructions not to eat what they have been given 'til their parent says it is OK - but some start scoffing as soon as they are out of the door.

I don't know who these eejit parents are who send peanut chocolate bars into a school!

Being SuperMum I made home made buns 'til last year - carefully covered in chocolate. Last year (ds1 was in Year 2) he said "aww, Mum...I don't want to take them...no-one else takes cakes." We had to plough our way through 34 chocolate buns!

Pagan · 18/10/2004 20:50

I'd be very annoyed. I am probably the meanest mum, or at least will be once DD is older. I hate all this marketing and OTT stuff for such occasions. It used to be a party where you got jelly, a bit of cake and a balloon to take home if you were lucky. Now it seems to be more and more ridiculous gimmicky things. Is it just me or is this "Graduating from Nursery" thing just a step too far??

Am stunned by the Snickers Bar thing

Tommy · 18/10/2004 21:28

I agree Pagan! I haven't done party bags for my DSs yet (mind you - they've only had 3 birthdays between them) as I think while they're so young, they don't know any different and just enjoy the party anyway - DS1 certainly wouldn't expect one from a party although obviously he has been given them occasionally (older children's parties mostly) I'm amazed at the nursery - DS1 started pre-school today - I hope they don't expect party bags on his birthday as it will only add to my general unease abut the whole thing anyway!

Twiglett · 18/10/2004 21:30

if you want to get your own back .. just make the cake with blue smarties only ..

Skate · 18/10/2004 21:31

Tell me about it Pagan - round here and in my group of friends they've been having birthday parties where they've hired out soft play, halls and entertainers, Jabberjacks coming to your house and providing champagne and canapes for the parents while their kids 'party' - and this is for 2 year olds!!

More money than sense - what's wrong with a little party at home with pass the parcel and pin the tail on the donkey?! Or am I mean too?!

lou33 · 18/10/2004 21:34

Pagan, you want to hear mean? My brother used to refuse to let his dd have party bags, but not only did he take them away from her, he used to sit and eat the contents of it himself IN FRONT OF HER!

That's really mean imo.

WestCountryLass · 18/10/2004 21:55

Party bags are the bane of my life! My DS had hi birthday party yesterday and I put raisins and natural lollys from the health fod shop in mine as I am so PO with haribo and chupachups!!!!!

If my DC were getting them frequently at nursery then I would be complaining, cake is fine but all that unnecessary extra crap is asking for trouble.

Off on a tangent....DS had a Thomas The Tank Engine cake yesterday and he did a blue poo today so colourings, E numbers and additives cannot be a good thing if the body cannot process them!

sobernow · 18/10/2004 22:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FairyMum · 18/10/2004 22:06

I prefer my children only to eat sweets and cake at weekends and I think it should be up to parents to decide on this. I don't see why my kids should eat cake during the week. UK children eat far too unhealthily and either look obese or malnourished like they live on Ribena and biscuits.

Hulababy · 18/10/2004 22:08

I think that whilst the cake is fine, in replacement of the morning or afternoon snack, that party bags (if brought in) should be passed on to the parents when collecting them in the afternoon. That's what happens at normal parties after all.

Hulababy · 18/10/2004 22:11

But I have no problem with party bags per say at all. Birthdays have always had them from what I remember of my old childhood. And they've always been full of rubbishy sweets.

DD doesn't actually like sweets at the moment - adores chocolate though - so I get the sweeties

expatkat · 18/10/2004 22:15

Hoxtonchick--our nursery has a strict policy against party bags. They WILL NOT hand them out. Birthday cakes are fine, but we are encouraged to bake a "low in sugar" variety, in order to be consistent with the school's healthy eating policy.

Why not a write a letter to the nursery, suggesting they start a policy similar to that in our nursery?

Original poster

hoxtonchick · 18/10/2004 22:21

you know, i think i will, expatkat. i'm a member of the nursery's management committee, hopefully that means they'll take notice of me!

OP posts:

Flip

1 2