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Parenting

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Original poster

Getting baby to bed at night - help!

16 replies

surreygirl1987 · 19/09/2020 23:28

I feel a bit stupid for asking this...
I need some advice on getting my 10 week old to go to bed. It can take an hour a night and lots of crying/screaming (him) and rocking/feeding before he drops off. We've tried grobag, white noise, dummy...

I have a toddler and when he was this age I just had to feed him to sleep and out him in his cot and he'd be out like a light. His bedtime was 7pm from 10 weeks old. But his little brother usually finally goes off around 8 or sometimes even 9, despite trying since 7ish.

We've been varying his last nap to see if that makes a difference in case he's over/under tired but it doesn't seem to. The only thing we're doing differently this time round is we had a strict routine with my first baby, but of course that's impossible with this baby as he just has to go with the flow and whatever his brother is doing, so ends up napping on car journeys or in the pram wherever we happen to be. He sleeps well during the day and seems really content but has a horrendous witching hour at night and the screening starts like clockwork when we try to put him to bed.

I know this isn't the end of the world and if I just have to suck it up and deal with it then I will. But if anyone has any bright ideas that might make a difference then I'd be very grateful! Starting to really dread baby bedtime!

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dementedpixie · 19/09/2020 23:31

Is he even tired at 7pm? Don't think mine ever went to bed as early as that

Willow4987 · 19/09/2020 23:32

At that’s age both of my DS didn’t have a set ‘bedtime’. I’d usually be upstairs in a quieter room with them so it was calmer and just either entertain them, cuddle, let them sleep, eat etc

Personally I think they’re still so little at that age that it’s better to be led by the baby rather than trying to impose a bedtime on them. They’re still trying to figure out what’s what at that stage

I started implementing a 7pm bedtime closer to 14 weeks as that’s when they were naturally wanting to go to bed so I let them lead it

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 20/09/2020 04:33

I think you need to find your sons natural bedtime rather than imposing 7pm on him. Sounds like 7pm was right for your first, but it might be 8ish for your baby.

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Original poster

surreygirl1987 · 20/09/2020 05:40

You raise a good point... But if that is the case then what do I do about the witching hour? He screams anything from around 5:30ish until he goes to bed... I don't live the idea of that going on for hours while I wait for 8pm or later! But honestly even 8pm is often a battle at the mo and it ends up being 9pm. This can mean he's not been asleep for the past 4 hours or longer..?

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Original poster

surreygirl1987 · 20/09/2020 05:42

Did your babies go to sleep with no fuss / witching hour then? It's so frustrating!

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BrizNiz · 20/09/2020 06:29

My DS is 10 weeks old too. At the moment, he goes to bed with me (anytime between 8.30 - 10.30 depending on how tired I am!). He is really fussy in the evenings but I think that's because he wants to cluster feed and there is a slight build up of wind from the day. Over the last week I've noticed he's more reliably sleeping from about 9 so I might start putting him down around then.

WezWally · 20/09/2020 06:36

My baby is 14 weeks and we definitely had the witching hour(s) between 7pm and 10pm usually. I was aiming for an 8pm bedtime but it would usually end up being pretty late when he finally fell to sleep after he'd worn himself out. A few weeks ago I changed his bedtime routine to start much earlier at 6pm instead and I don't know if it's coincidence and he's grown out of it or its actually working but I can now usually get him to bed pretty quickly with less stress.

MsChatterbox · 20/09/2020 06:54

The only time my baby cries at bedtime is if she's got overtired. Also if I try to "put her to sleep". She prefers if I lay next to her stroking her etc and let her get naturally sleepy. It takes longer but she's happier. Sometimes when she gets really close to sleep doing this she gets upset so I pick her up and she then falls asleep quickly in my arms. But nothing like the screaming if I try to cuddle her from the start. Maybe try lying him down in your bed and just having a calm time and seeing what he does?

MsChatterbox · 20/09/2020 06:56

She also detests rocking. My son needed rocking for a long time so this was really confusing for me and took me a while to figure out that she was crying because I was rocking her!

Willow4987 · 20/09/2020 07:16

DS1 experienced witching hour and the only thing that improved it was basically sitting and cuddling him/feeding during that time in our bedroom with just a lamp or the tv on. Keeping him down stairs made it worse. Eventually it passed

DS2 didn’t have this but he’s been a much calmer baby.

It all will honestly pass. Each baby is so different but they do move through that phase and normally quicker than it feels when you look back on it.

Caspianberg · 21/09/2020 07:15

I just let mine go back for a quick nap anytime between 5-7pm and then he goes to sleep 8.30-9pm much easier. If he naps 5pm for 30 mins he probably is already feeding to sleep by 8.15pm, if he naps more like 6.30-7pm he goes around 9pm

This way he feeds and is straight to sleep. Otherwise he faffs for ages

Original poster

surreygirl1987 · 21/09/2020 09:19

Last name that went well actually... Went for a 6:30 bedtime. He snuggled and fed for 45 mins then went to sleep easily. Guess he's overtired and needed an earlier bedtime! Then only one night wake at 2am. Could be worse. Thanks for your help :)

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Letsallscreamatthesistene · 21/09/2020 11:09

Im glad! My 6 month old still has a 6.30 bedtime because he gets so tired.

Original poster

surreygirl1987 · 21/09/2020 16:52

Yeh just tricky dealing with 2 under 2... When my husband has to stay late at work, doing dinner and bedtime is so hard to do time-,wise,!

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Gin4thewin · 22/09/2020 02:50

By some miracle both of mine were sleeping through by around 12 weeks. With dd we tried at about 6 weeks getting her into a proper routine, didnt work, so we left it a little while and tried again. Initially had to lie there with her holding her hand until she fell asleep but gradually reduced that and replaced my hand with her blanket, she has a dummy and a chico bear we use to get her off that plays music/lights up which she loves. When she woke up, id go in, re arrange her blanket/dummy, not talk to her etc, walk out and repeat as many times as needed. She sleeps brilliantly, shes in bed by 7/730, routine is key IMO

Original poster

surreygirl1987 · 22/09/2020 12:57

Yeh we were very strict with routine for my first and it worked a treat. Much more difficult with a toddler as well though... Baby has to just nap on the go and fit around toddler. Baby wakes once a night at the mo (10 weeks) - he tends to do an initial 6 or 7 hour stretch then a further 4 or 5 hours til morning. Could be worse. But it's getting him to bed amidst the witching that I find tricky. Still, I've been popping upstairs with him as early as possible the last couple of nights and he's gone down much more easily... Guess he was overtired. So will see how it goes 🤞 really I think he needs to go to bed at the same time as I'm preparing dinner and the toddler is causing chaos.

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