Suddenly a bit terrified :(

[PregnantGrrrl]

I'm just over 38wks with DS2, and DS1 is a bit over 15mths. The small gap was planned, and this baby is VERY much wanted, but i'm suddenly really scared.

DS1 has stopped sleeping through because he's teething really, really badly. I am so tired at the moment- the kind of tired you feel when you're breastfeeding a newborn every 2 hours of the night- and pretty soon i WILL be breastfeeding a newborn most of the night.

What if i can't cope? What if i'm going to let DS1 down and he feels neglected? I am so tired right now, i have no idea what i'm doing or how i'm going to cope

DH is fab in the day, but totally useless at night- can't wake him, and even if i do manage to, he's like a sleepwalker.

You are tired because you are heavily pregnant as well as getting up in the night.
When you have your newborn you won't be as tired from the pregnancy but you will still be exhausted.
You need to get your dh on board at night.
once your feeding all night he will have to get up with your 15 month old.

you've just got the heebie-jeebies Ggrrl

of course you'll cope

I bet if you looked back to 2 years ago you'd think bloody hell a baby teething, sleeping badly .. how will I cope? and look at you now, you're coping .. it might feel like shit atm but you are coping

you will be amazed at how malleable newborns can be .. you think they need loads but really you will be able to deal with this

as for DS1 being let down and feeling neglected .. oh c'mon ... the majority of children have siblings, some have as close a gap as you have .. they will be fine

so in summary

you will be fine
they will be fine

take a deep breath and calm down

forgot to add you will cope, it will all be fine, honest

I remember being absolutely knackered near the end of pregnancy with dd2 and thinking exactly the same... "how am I going to do this?" (and dd1 was 2.7, not 15m!)

It was actually dp who said yes, but you won't be pregnant then, will you?

He made a very good point. The pregnancy does make you feel exhausted. You will cope!

Congratulations, by the way

PG I agree with everything Lucy said. You HAVE to get your dh on board, he will have to help more at night.

You will cope (I have a 19 month gap so not as small but know what two who are both babies are like) because you have to. I used to sleep at lunchtime for an hour when both dcs were asleep - for months.

Make sure you spend some one to one time with ds1 every day while the baby is asleep even for 20 minutes. You may have to force yourself to do it but it is worth it believe me as improves their behaviour. You will probably find that jealousy won't be an issue until your new baby starts moving anyway as they are not much of a threat when very tiny.

Good luck, you will be ok

Just another vote for pregnancy making you exhausted. I'm sure you know but you might have forgotten. I didn't realise how bad it was at the time, but I used to say things like "The kitchen needs cleaning, but I'm going out in an hour and a half so don't have time" (we don't have a big kitchen!)
Once DS was born I was amazed how much energy I had, even after the sleepless nights. Obviously I don't have two, so feel free to tell me to f off

Also, you might experience that burst of hormonal energy for a couple of weeks post-birth (I did both times). Was just relieved not to be pg the second time.

And a lot of newborns sleep well for the 1st couple of weeks.

Agree you need to get your dh on board at night initially at least.

15 month gap between mine.

You will cope, as twig said below, you will be amazed at how the baby will fit in to your existing routine.

Don't make any changes if you can help it to whatever you do for ds1 so he doesn't think his world has turned upside down and if possible try and have some him and you time. He will be fine as 15 month olds are pretty adaptible too!

Make it clear what you want dh to do to help. Mine was willing but not too able to see where I was not coping unless I asked.

Finally, one thing I worked quite hard at was getting them to have afternoon naps at the same time and for over a year, I had a peaceful hour each afternoon. Don't know if this fits in with the way you do things, but if its possible, its wonderful!

You will cope and everyone will be fine.

thanks guys.

i just want to be a good mother to them- i'm the only one they're getting and i don't want to cock it up.

pregnancy has f**ked me up this time round- was a breeze with DS1, but i am so awkward and weary. I'm looking forward to being able to take DS1 to park with DS2 in sling / pushchair, and being active again.

pgrrrl - I know exactly what you mean - I am 31wks pg and dd is 23mths and pg is just so hard this time round. I feel stupid for not appreciating how (relatively) easy a first pregnancy is just because you can rest whenever you want to.

A 15mth old is exhausting anyway and when 38 wks pg must be almost unmanageable. But as everyone else has said at least you won't be pg when your dc2 is born. I think you forget what it's like NOT to be pg in the last month or two. I'm already doubting whether I'll ever be able to cycle into work again (it's only 3 miles) just because that's the last thing in the world I could do now.

Just do as little as you can get away with doing for now, let your DH do everything he can and try to rest as much as possible for a few days after the birth (DH can look after your ds, you can just (just!)bf your new baby) and I'm sure you will be amazed at how much energy you have.

Good luck!

i am feeling a bit more positive today- DS slept right through, and i slept really well too, for a change!

I know deep down i'll manage- people do- just want to get on with being a Mam, not a big, tired ball who can't play and loses her temper because she's so tired and hormonal

Glad you had a better night. x

You'll feel better whn you don't feel like you're made of lead!

If he has teeth problems again I can HIGHLY RECOMMEND seeing a homeopath. Its really worked for my dd and for my friends kids too. there are different remedies for different personality types.