How to strengthen sibling bond?

[Kittythekitty]

My daughters are almost 4 and almost 6 and they don’t really get on. It’s hard to explain but for example my older one always feels the need to put the younger one down for example “oh she’s only 3 years old she can’t do this” or “you’re not tall enough” etc etc

They also struggle to play nicely or share together yet are good as gold with other kids. They’re both lovely kids on their own but just clash together!

I caught my older daughter throwing sand at my younger one today at the park because they got into a quibble whilst playing in the sandpit.

I’ve noticed other siblings around us seem to be much more caring and play nicely together. Mine can’t play anything together without turning into an argument or screaming match.

Please help! How do I help them like each other and how can I strengthen their bond?

My two dds, now teenagers, are really close which I put down to us emigrating when they were little and us having to spend so much time together as a family. Obviously, I'm not say that's the solution😂 but it is something I've noticed that came out of the experience. Lots of togetherness and creating shared traditions that bonded us together as a family unit.

I've always been aware not to make the big one 'look after' the little one as as an oldest child myself I found it annoying. Dd2 is my responsibility not dd1s.

I didn't let the little one play with the older ones things while she was at school, or interfere with her play dates etc.

Punish them both in a very unfair way and they will band together against you :-p

DS1 and 2 were so kind and cute to each other when they were your kids ages.... However they either ignore each other or fight now they are 11 and 13, hopefully it will change in time...

I meant to say it's their relationship and they will work it out...

I think it is fairly common, tbh.
My dc used to fight when they were small.
They get on great now, as young adults.

I used to fight with my siblings - but once we no longer lived together, we get on fine.

Siblings are annoying. It sort of goes with the territory.

I think it's down to the age gap - two that close in age will be at best super close and at worst sworn enemies. Or perhaps indifferent. Although this will change back and forth over time. I don't think as a parent there is anything you can do apart from be scrupulously fair so no resentment can build up between them due to perceived favouritism.

I don’t think you can do much, other than not play favourites and not try to force them together. My sister and I have the same age gap and have simply never much liked one another. We escaped off into our separate adulthoods with relief and have usually lived on different continents.

Do you spend much time as a family? Do you model good relationships and friendships?

I had this with my DC and realised we didn't really spend much time just us as a family. We often met up with other families, went on holiday with cousins etc. I made a conscious decision to protect more time for us to spend together without distractions and they gravitated towards each other. You can't overly manage them but you can create opportunities for them to develop a relationship.

Recon you need to ensure the eldest feels well loved, gets enough 1:1 attention and is held in a positive light.