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Parenting

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Emotional abuse

5 replies

Joely881 · 18/09/2020 14:59

Is it emotional abuse to give a child a choice to do something? Situation is With my ex partner. I have asked to do a special family event which clashes with a weekly after school activity and unfortunately it can’t be planned any other day. I have asked if they could miss one week to be able to Come. My ex has said no as they don’t regard it as important and have said they don’t even want to ask the child as it will be emotional abuse to allow them a choice between the two activities and so they will make the decision on their behalf and decline me. The child in question is 9.

OP posts:
hypochondriaceveywhere · 18/09/2020 15:00

Who's time with the child is it?

Joely881 · 18/09/2020 15:05

It’s during the week as my contact is week ends only.

OP posts:
LaLaLandIsNoFun · 18/09/2020 15:13

Yes it is - you’re putting the child in the middle and putting them against the other parent.

missyB1 · 18/09/2020 15:13

No it’s definitely not emotional abuse to offer the choice. It would be emotional abuse if the child chose not to come to your special event and you then gave them a hard time.

My ex once stopped all communication with our ds for 6 months as punishment for making the “wrong” choice in similar circumstances.

missyB1 · 18/09/2020 15:15

I do think there needs to be flexibility in contact time as long as no one takes the piss and the child’s opinion is listened to.

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