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Parenting

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Original poster

Can a grandparent open a saving account for their grandchild child without parent knowing?

61 replies

Mummy2b2020 · 17/09/2020 23:47

Bit of a strange one but can a grandparent open a bank account for their grandchild without the parent knowing?

I'm guessing they would need a birth certificate? Would they need both parents permission too? Signatures etc?

My delightful controlling mother-in-law is adamant she wants to set up a savings account for our son and keeps hassling us for the birth certificate which I'm guessing is so she can go and set up a bank account!

I have already told her that if she wants to give money towards then she can give it to us and we'll put the money away for him yet still is persistent at chasing us for the birth certificate. I actually find it insulting that she clearly thinks we can't be trusted with the money and is determined to put it into a savings account that he can't touch till he's 18?!

So I wondered if anyone knows can you just set up a savings account for a grandchild without permission from their mother?

Any info would be great!

OP posts:

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InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 17/09/2020 23:51

You're being ridiculous. If she wants to put money away for him, that's a good thing. You are uber controlling

Fairybatman · 17/09/2020 23:53

Unless she wants to use his child ISA allowance and you do too, why not leave her to get on with it?

wetwiped · 17/09/2020 23:55

Birth certificate definitely and some banks write to parents address to advise of account opening. If parents not happy the account gets closed.

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ProudMarys · 17/09/2020 23:57

Why not just let her? It generous of her to want to give to her grandson. It will be nice for him to have it at 18 when he may need it.

Crunched · 17/09/2020 23:58

I think you are looking at this offer through a bias of not liking your MIL. My PIL of 30 years are leaving their assets to DH and, if he dies before me, their estate will go to my DC (their Grandchildren). I think that is pretty standard.
It is a kind thing for you MIL to do.

doodleygirl · 17/09/2020 23:59

Why can’t she open an account for her grandchild? My parents did this for all grandchildren, when they were 18 they had a decent amount which they were very grateful for.

You seem quite odd.

Babyboomtastic · 18/09/2020 00:00

Unless there's a huge backstory here, it sounds to me like you're the controlling one in this situation. If she wants to open an account for her grandchild, then fab, just let her get on with it.

Itwasaquarterpast11 · 18/09/2020 00:00

You are confusing your clear dislike for the woman with her rather quite nice intention. She can save money for the dog 3 doors down if she so chooses, why is it "insulting" that she chose your child instead?
I suggest you keep your mouth shut and hand over the bc. Unless you are minted and ungrateful I cannot imagine your child will not benefit from some savings when he is older. Be nice - she may be a fucking nightmare to you, but this is a nice thing for her to do for your child/her grandchild.

caringcarer · 18/09/2020 00:09

Maybe your MiL wants to set up a stocks and shares ISA for her GC. By time child reaches 18 there may be a nice lump sum for thrm. She can't do this without birth certificate. Why would you want to stop her and insist she gives the money to you? If you put it in a current or savings account your child will not benefit from interest which is very low. You are being unfair to both your child and MiL.

Thierryhenryneedisaymore · 18/09/2020 00:22

FFS stop being a dick. Let her save some money for her Grandchild. Think it is you who had control issues

Aquamarine1029 · 18/09/2020 00:31

You're being a real arsehole about this. Take the bc to the bank so she can open the account.

Africa2go · 18/09/2020 00:35

Sorry OP I agree with the pp. It's entirely normal for grandparents to do this - why on earth would you try to insist that if she wants to give money to her grandchild she has to give it to you to save for him? That's so controlling - on your part! Just accept graciously, hand over the birth certificate and be thankful that your son is having a little pot built up for him.

WeAllHaveWings · 18/09/2020 00:37

Nothing wrong, actually a lovely thing to do, for a GP setting up a bank account for saving for a grandchilds future.

Can't understand why you wouldn't you let her do this? What does your dh say?

SingingSands · 18/09/2020 00:44

Why can't she save for her grandchild? My grandparents had a savings account for each of their grandchildren. It's a really common thing for grandparents to do! It's not "controlling" at all.

tywysoges · 18/09/2020 00:54

She can’t be that controlling or she would have ordered a copy of the birth certificate herself rather than asking you for it...

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 18/09/2020 00:56

Good God, you can't be serious ? 😳

caffeinebuzz · 18/09/2020 00:59

I agree with all the other posters, why not let her put money away for him? But, to answer your question, the rules changed a couple of years ago and she can't do it without a parent or legal guardian. Or at least that's what my DM was told when she tried to open an account for DD, despite having all the paperwork and my permission.

GeorgiaGirl52 · 18/09/2020 00:59

I bought life insurance policies for all my grandchildren. Parents were the beneficiaries. When they turn 21, the policies are paid up and belong to them. If they marry or have children they can change beneficiaries. Or they can cash in the policies.

dollypartonscoat · 18/09/2020 01:19

You're the controlling one. HTH

cheesecrack · 18/09/2020 01:20

I haven't RTFT but I have a feeling my MIL did this for one of my children but not the other.

I split with the father. We're on good terms but I have no idea how to even ask.

I think at the time it felt a bit sort of patronising? I had a savings account started and would have preferred the contributions to go onto one account.

For whatever reason she thought she knew better about the type of account my child should have.

So yes - I think it is possible!

TableFlowerss · 18/09/2020 01:33

Who cares afar if she’s a pain in the arse, at the end of the day, life is tough and money isn’t plentiful. Every penny counts unless you’re born in to wealth.

So if she wants to save a few grand for your DC- you’re mad to try to score points on the back if it and refuse.

DC could use if towards uni fees, house deposit, travel the world. Money is money and having more of it is what 99.9% of people would want as I’m sure your DC will in the future.

notangelinajolie · 18/09/2020 01:40

She doesn't need to ask you for your son's Birth Certificate, she can buy her own copy. They cost £11 from the General Register Office.

TableFlowerss · 18/09/2020 02:03

@notangelinajolie

She doesn't need to ask you for your son's Birth Certificate, she can buy her own copy. They cost £11 from the General Register Office.

I can’t imagine you can go around buying birth certificates that aren’t your own or a replacement one for your own DC?

Surely that would leave all sorts open to fraud? A birth certificate is required as proof of ID for various things so I find it hard to imagine you can buy them unless you can prove who you are?

TableFlowerss · 18/09/2020 02:07

@notangelinajolie

She doesn't need to ask you for your son's Birth Certificate, she can buy her own copy. They cost £11 from the General Register Office.

OMG it looks like you’re right!! I had a quick Google and yeah seems you can...... who knew!! You did

sbhydrogen · 18/09/2020 07:16

It's so much easier in the long run if your DS has his own savings account. Get one with a good interest rate. I've just been gifted some money towards a house deposit and I've had to jump through loopholes and pay extra fees because of it. Get your DS his own account.

I'd be annoyed that she keeps wanting to open it, but only because you should be the one to do so. But as you want to keep the money for yourself to then give to your son, YABU.

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