Breast feeding ending. What to do

[JKDcot]

Hi

My boy is 15 weeks old and has been breast feeding approx 90% of the time until last few weeks where I’ve been supplementing more with bottles.

Now my milk supply is dwindling and I feel sad and worried. I always found breast feeding hard and my nipples still bleeding... half of me wants to just stop and move to formula. But the other half I feel sad and guilty. Sometimes I breast feed him when he’s sad or to comfort him and I can’t replicate that with a bottle.

Any one else had a similar situation? Are the health benefits of breast milk mainly in the first 3 months when they’re more vulnerable/ sensitive? If I quit now is that ok?

Thanks x

Of course it’s OK to give up. You’ve done such a good job and given him amazing health benefits. Children receive health benefits from breast feeding until they turn 2 years old. It sounds like you both haven’t got a good latch and that must be making it difficult and painful. If you wanted to, and only if you wanted to continue feeding then it would be worth seeing a private lactation consultant.

I combi feed both of mine to 6 weeks, then with DD1 we moved to formula and with DD2 I moved to ebf due to her allergies. In a perfect world I would have liked to have continued to combi feed. I suffered massively with guilty after stopping bf DD1 and I had counselling which helped a bit but it wasn’t until I had DD2 that I remembered how hard bf was and finally made my piece with stopping bf DD1.

Whatever you decide is best for your family (that includes you) is the right thing.

Hi OP,
You don’t need anyone’s permission to stop if that’s what you want to do! I went through something very similar with my DD around that age. I started dropping one bf a week and got up to 3 bottles of formula a day. One day I woke up and my boobs weren’t engorged, I don’t know why for some reason that made me feel really sad because is symbolised a dwindling supply and something inside me clicked and I wanted to carry on. So I dropped the bottles and fed loads and now exclusively breastfeeding but wouldn’t be too opposed to giving the odd bottle now and again I just don’t really find a need to.
I just wanted to let you know that what you’re feeling is normal. I was still in pain and hated that it hadn’t got easier. I don’t want to say it did, it just got different. DD is now 7.5m, goes much longer between feeds and they’re much quicker so bf is not a big part of my day but I love that I can comfort her with it.
I just wanted to share my experience but please don’t feel like you have to ask for permission to stop. Bf is such an emotive subject, I never expected it to make me feel the way it has!!

Op i had a similar experience. During lockdown i had to go back to work, my son was only 3 months old. We had combi fed a bit of formula for bedtime before then, but with the constant zoom calls etc, i couldn't keep up with expressing and everything else and one day it became clear he preferred the bottle and i panicked. I put myself through a lot with la leeches advice - sitting on a pump for yonks etc and feeling so bad that i let this slip. I was doing just one or two breastfeeds by 5/6 months and felt really guilty. Now he is 8 months and I look at him and see the happiest, bounciest person I know. He is not suffering for lack of breastmilk so why guilt trip myself. Shit happens. Pandemic babies happen. Shifts of attention happen. He is thriving and happy and I am not going to terrorise myself about this, as if I start doing that every time I make a parental error when doing my best, I will be totally screwed! Hope that helps.

@JKDcot have u got a decent health visitor or even any online groups u can go to for support? If you google national breastfeeding helpline I’m sure there’s numbers u can phone for support.
I’ve exclusively breastfed 2 kids both until around 18 months and I’m now feeding my 3rd who’s 10 weeks old. I had different issues with all 3 so dont feel as though it’s you that’s doing something wrong because it’s never an easy journey. I had mastitis and cracked nipples with my 1st DS then my 2nd just seemed to reject my boob when he was around 11 months and stopped feeding completely for a week then started again and went on to feed for another 6 months! If you have cracked bleeding nipples as bad as mines were then I’m sure it was lansinoh cream I used religiously and then went for hot baths as often as I could. I have never combi fed and found all of mines got annoyed trying to take a bottle feed (I think because the latch is different).
If you think your supply is low then the best way to get it up is to feed as much as possible (baby suckling stimulates your body to make more milk) and I know that’s easier said than done when u have cracked bleeding nipples. I feel for you I really do. You are certainly not a failure if u move over to formula you’ve tried to give ur baby the best u can for as long as u can.
I’m lucky that my mum EBF 5 children and my sister in law 3 so I had good knowledgeable people around me. Having a baby is hard enough never mind having one just now when u can’t access the right support.