My son isn't talking (22mo)

[orangejuicer]

He's 22mo, very developed physically and intellectually, as far as I can tell (I'm not an expert) but he's just not talking. He can say mama and dada. That's it. I've looked up the signs of autism and aspergers and they don't seem to fit. He generally seems like a happy child and it's like he's choosing not to talk. He understands a lot of what we say so I'm not sure what it is. I'm in tears now. He has a dummy and probably watches too much tv, made worse by lockdown, but we try and make sure he has a varied day with other stimulation and independent play.

Does anyone else have experience of this?

Don't worry and definitely don't cry! Loads of kids don't really talk at this age, they are maybe focusing on other skills, and/or haven't really found a need to use words. It doesnt mean they have got a problem.

My little boy (about 21 months) is really similar. He is also physically well developed - runs, jumps, climbs well. He understands what we say and follows instructions (when he wants to), does the actions to songs and familiar books, has a good sense of humour and plays normally with his toys (shape sorters, cars, favourite teddy). He makes a lot of noises and chats constantly, but none of the chatter is real words. He will even sit and babble excitedly on the phone to my mum, leaving appropriate pauses in the chatter for her to reply.

Just this week he has started to copy animal noises when I make them, and he communicates brilliantly without words (when he wants me to go somewhere he points or pulls me there, whinges when he is annoyed etc).

I'm not even vaguely worried. Speech will come. I guess I could go to the HV and get him signed up for speech delay but I just don't want to go that route.

Sounds to me like your little boy is doing fine. Just carry on talking to him, try not to anticipate his every need so that he has a reason to need to talk, and stop fretting.

There’s some NHS advice to encourage talking here: www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/helping-your-childs-speech/

They suggest not using dummies after 12 months.

Please stop worrying. This was my daughter, and I was worried, too. For no reason whatsoever!

She was incredibly physically able, walking at 8 months, running actually. Climbing, swimming, colouring, etc. She was clearly intelligent, engaged, happy, laughing, the lot. However, she barely said 10 words by her second birthday.

By 2.5 years she was talking non-stop, and she is now a wonderful 21 year old. My first born was a very early talker, so I was especially worried about my daughter because I was comparing the two.

Don't worry!

My DD was similar - barely anything at 2yo, here they only refer at 2yo so pushed for a review with HV at that stage to get a speech and language referal. While we've been waiting (now 2.5) we've had a huge explosion in talking, I think some children just take longer than others, she's still behind her friends but never shuts up now.

I'd get rid of the dummy during the day time (we were nap and bedtime only) as that's one of the things they ask about, and then do the things you are probably already doing - talking to him lots, narrating as you go, reading books, engaging with play times. I probably spent days in tears about DD's talking and now I'm wondering where the off button is!

Don't panic!
Mine is four in a few days but until lockdown didn't really speak....now he doesn't stop!
I don't know if it was lockdown or just his time
We had heating tests, ear exams and were just starting to look for therapies when the lick down started. Children are design to give us grey hair, hang on in it will be fine.

Speak to your health visitor if your worried but my DS was the same. He was referred to speech and language therapy by nursery when he was around 2.6 years old. By the time the referral came through nursery said he didnt need it and he'd caught up

Hes 4 in november and his speech still wasnt great before lockdown. 6 months stuck in with me 24/7 and hes a right chatter box now

Definetly speak to your HV if your worried but I've found from watching my own DS and my friends that ( we have DDs and DSs ) boys dont seem to pick up speaking as quickly as girls

Ds was the same, didn't even babble. When he did start he bypassed all the basic words and went straight to the most appropriate tricky word he knew. He was reading by the time he was 3, is one of the top in the class and never stops talking. Obviously keep an eye on it but he might just be bidding his time until he has something important to say.

I do remember trying to ask him questions like would you like an apple or an orange so he had to give an answer but to be honest in the end it was like a tsunami and he would add about half a dozen new words to his vocabulary a day, unlike his sisters who talked really early but would use just one or maybe two new words a day initially.

How often does he have his dummy, OP? A friend of mine has a DC who was quite anxious and used their dummy a lot. It meant they tended to point and hadn’t practiced using the mouth shapes for speech, so we’re slower in that area. I wouldn’t panic, but I would reduce and ultimately wean off dummy if you can to help with speech. Some children do take longer to speak and that’s normal, but it can be good to look at your communication. Some parents ask lots of questions, others tend to put toys in reach of child, sometimes changing little things like this can really help. Putting a toy where it can be seen and not reached, to encourage a point where you can say the toys name and encourage repetition can make a difference, as can narrating rather than questions eg. You’re pushing the car, rather than ‘what are you up to now, dc?’. I definitely wouldn’t panic, but if you do feel you want advice, then sometimes there’s SALT advice online or courses in encouraging speech and language in toddlers run by SALTs online.

My eldest didn't really say much until a couple of months after his 2nd birthday - he now nearly 4 and doesn't stop chattering all day long. I was a bit concerned too when he was around your son's age but I think there is no reason yet to think anything is wrong here.

Have you had his hearing checked? My son didn’t speak until he was 2 and it turned out he had severe glue ear. He had grommets, and speech therapy. We queried ASD etc and it didn’t fit.

He is now 12, And he never stops talking 🤣

My little boy didnt really talk at that age either. Even at 3 he didnt make a lot of sense when he did, I too worried about ASD but once he went to nursery he was chatting away and I've never looked back. If you think he's ok otherwise and his hearing is good I wouldn't worry.

My eldest hardly put two words together right up until three, then over the course of a weekend could hold entire conversations. He was the same with walking, never shuffled, crawled or clung to the furniture, just got up and walked when he was ready.

He's a bright boy at the top of his class in school. Keep an eye and speak to your HV, but it's not necessarily something to worry about.

Same here, DS was only just starting to say a couple of words by 21 months. Nursery were on the look out for issues and I was googling private speech and language therapists. And then it literally all came tumbling out. He went from one word to full sentences in the matter of a few months, and the words were whole and properly formed, no baby speech (apart from a few letters he can't pronounce "hey oogle, what's the weather today?")
Do they do a 2 year check in your area? Raise it then if you're concerned still, but he's still within the parameters

Just to add more reassurance. My nephew was the same. He's now 12, incredibly bright and articulate, very mathematically minded.

My ds is the same. Up until 6 months ago (2.5 years old) he said very little. He had a few words he used (mama, dada, cat, num nums) but it was only single words. He understood everything, he just didn't speak.

At 2.5, which coincided with me doing away with his dummy, he started speaking more and more. He's now saying at least 5 words in a row. His speech has developed quickly. It's still behind where he should be at his age but he's progressing quickly.

Try not to worry. I would speak to your health visitor for advice and reassurance.

Sometimes MN really is a fantastic place. Thank you so much for the responses. I had got myself into a bit of a state and was generally being unreasonable.

It's so reassuring to hear your experiences - I hope things will just click and he will start speaking.

Up until this morning he would have his dummy for bedtime and during the day, apart from times we actively moved it away. I think he finds it comforting when he's teething so it's been easy just to let him have it. He hasn't had it since waking this morning, so fingers crossed we can phase it out. I know he shouldn't have it at this age really and I am concerned about his teeth. Just another thing to be worrying about to be honest. My DP (his dad) isn't worried about his speech yet, so I think we'll wait and see, then speak to the health visitor if we need to.

His hearing seems fine but he's not been tested (apart from at birth). He responds well to lots of different things, is a very loving child so otherwise I wouldn't be too concerned. Just late night (first time) mum fretting!