I understand that parents who boast about their children often have deep seated insecurities, but it doesn't make them any easier to be friends with.
In my job, I work with children from all walks of life with many learning disabilities, physical disabilities, illnesses and all of whom meet milestones at different rates. Before giving birth, I knew that I didn't want to be a comparer or a boaster as you never know what challenges different people and children are facing, I consciously thought about this.
My third child is now 18 months old and to be honest, I'm sick to death of other parents. I've enjoyed the solitude of lockdown and less pressure to compare and compete. I have a handful of easy going friends who are not competitive when it comes to parenting, but unfortunately I see less of these than these other petulant types due to distance.
I vowed not to join the competitive parenting party, but have found myself on several occasions recently sharing an accomplishment made by my own children, as I've felt like I've not celebrated them the way other parents do their own children and I felt guilty for it. What I've discovered however is that the boasting parents get offended and behave rudely by changing the subject, not responding or blatantly talking over me. They want to talk about all their own kids achievements but don't want to listen when another child has done something well. On a rare occasion, with one boaster, I said to my child, "show S what you've learned to do this morning." This boaster snapped "He's not a performing monkey!" She is the biggest bloody boaster of them all.
One of my children is autistic and takes longer to meet her milestones. I've only told handful of friends about her diagnosis, because of the pressure I feel under with other mums. I never used to worry about milestones.
One boaster likes to tell me "oh I love celebrating the milestones of DDs friends, not just my own DD"
This is absolute bullshit as if her DDs friend reaches a milestone before her DD, I see nothing but jealousy all over her face as she swiftly changes the subject. She is only pleased for any child, provided that her own precious child achieved it first.
I have to keep reminding myself not to get roped into all this, I know from my own experience in my work that children are all so very different. I see other parents competing with each other when I'm doing my job. I'm annoyed with myself when I find myself joining in the competition and have to remind myself to step away mentally and physically.
I need to meet more non-boasting parents who are happy when their kids are happy and having fun. Where are you all? Are there any? Is anyone else as fed up as me?