Help me help my 6 year old be less annoying around friends

[Anothernamebitesthedust]

That sounds means...i don't mean it do be.

My 6 She's a lovely, thoughtful and affectionate little thing. She's pretty bright and fairly advanced academically, but not exceptionally so. But socially, she's kind of...I don't know, just not as street smart as a lot of other kids her age. Maybe just a bit immature?

She can and does play nicely with other kids but particularly when she's out of her comfort zone or overexcited, I can see she starts to be a bit annoying to other kids - she's in their faces or trying to give them over-exuberant hugs, or dong this weird manic laughter thing. I can see other kids start to back off or wander away from her. It happened at drop off this morning and it broke my heart to see her look really crestfallen when a couple of girls didn't really want to engage.

She really wants to join in, and I know that sometimes she does. But it's like she doesn't always get the rules of engagement. And I can understand why other kids might find her being in their face annoying.

She has lots of friends as school but hasn't really formed any special friendships. She had to move schools last year as we moved house but she settled brilliantly. Hasn't had any special friendships in either school, though. In both schools though, she often has a new friend for a few weeks and then it drifts off. I think she mostly plays with the boys at lunchtime, which is obviously fine, although it does concern me it's because she struggles more with the interaction with the girls.

Anyway, thoughts on how I can help her with this? I've tried to discourage the manic laughter thing but I don't want to knock her confidence by telling her she's annoying!

Don't be led by stereotypical asd shite.

I know a lot of aspie kids (and it shines out of them. Usually in a good way. It means we can see the real person)

@SomeHalfHumanCreatureThing

Don't be led by stereotypical asd shite.

I know a lot of aspie kids (and it shines out of them. Usually in a good way. It means we can see the real person)

Thanks, how do you mean it shines out of them? Also out of interest, why are you not seeking a diagnosis for your eldest?

In response to an earlier poster, meltdowns... I guess how do you define a meltdown? She can certainly tantrum with the best of them, but generally they are short and sharp and she’s very easy to distract out of them. She never has then other than with family - to my knowledge she’s never had one in school.

Eye contact is mostly, I think. She looks about a bit but certainly can maintain eye contact.

She can be a bit controlling with her younger sister. Dictates games etc, won’t always let her play, although other times they play beautifully and take turns to lead. So I’m not sure that’s actually that unusual. Eldest sibling gets to rule till they’re older - at least that wasn’t experience!

She needs rules to understand the game it can't be random.
My dd would walk in the door and something tiny would set her off, we learnt she needed her room when she came in, usually under the duvet