Overweight child

[FructoseTart]

Hi fellow mums. Long time member and lurker but haven’t been on for a while. I’d like some advice. Apologies for the longevity but if I get as much as I can in then it may help somewhat with responses (I hope)

DD is almost 8. She is 131cm (average 9yr old height) and 41kg (average 12 year old weight) she is obese. I have 2 other DDs who are both in the healthy range, they all eat more or less the same.

DD snuffs her nose at any fruit or veg apart from strawberries, melon and sweet corn. I have tried so many different recipes with hidden veg and she just snuffs it and refuses to eat it. I have tried the ‘fine don’t eat it there’s nothing else’ approach, and also the approach of making her something else. The reason they all eat the same is that I am mainly cooking for Dds liking as I really can’t be bothered with the agro that comes with cookin something she doesn’t like, as the others will eat whatever they are given.

I appreciate every child is different. Dd has a completely different body shape to the other 2 even when younger.

When she was born she was dairy, gluten and wheat intolerant but we weaned her out of this with paediatrics help, however they discharged her at 3yo as progress was great. I have been back and forth to doctors and paediatrics however they just discharge her and say all is fine. I feel like I’m hitting a brick wall. They don’t seem interested and I’m so worried that my daughter is going to be bullied for her weight!

Has anybody else got any top tips or recommendations?

My friend is going through this with her DD. She is trying to up the exercise.

She has also been advised to make sure no eating after 6pm, just tell your DC they have had tea and there is nothing else. Every weekend go for bracing walks, or bike rides. If your daughter doesn't do physical extra-curricular activities, book her into them. If not into sports, maybe swimming and dancing classes.

Never ever make a big deal of it. It needs to be done surreptitiously. Hopefully a growth spurt will help.

Disclaimer: I am not an expert on this.

Thanks for your reply. We can’t do any clubs because we can’t afford it at the moment. We do walks and bike rides etc but I have fibromyalgia and weak hips so it’s also very painful and tiring for me to do these frequently.
I don’t make a big deal of it at all - in fact she is very happy with her ‘chunky thighs’ and ‘big butt’ as she says!!

Is she younger than your other children? Are they all just offered the same food or do they actually eat the same ( finish everything they're offered)?
Id advise making small changes to her diet. Maybe smaller portions, less treats and some swaps for healthier more filling options.
What does she drink?

There is something clearly wrong with her diet if she is overweight at 8. Don’t listen to the doctors. Investigate. Is she over eating? If not, perhaps cut out dairy and wheat. Even if she can tolerate them doesn’t mean she should! Her body could be going haywire because she is intolerant to those foods and eating them. I also have an 8.5 year old dd. She is at a healthy weight and I still help guide her with eating. I make her snack in fruit sometimes, not just junk. I also make sure if she has a bag of crisps it’s just one bag. Not two. One yogurt not two. If you let a child just eat what they want they will over eat. Sometimes they eat bc they are bored and so on. If they have had 3 snacks and want more I say NO WAY!! And make them wait until the next meal (which is usually an hour away). But if I let them they would eat all day! We also do a lot of walking or I take them to the park and I sit while they climb trees etc. My other dc is 6.

Can you take them to the pool once or twice a week? Jumping and splashing around is good exercise but fun. You can relax on a deck chair with a book

If, at 8, she's already referring to her Chunky thighs and big butt, I'd be worried. I'd reduce her portion sizes a little. Check sugar content in her breakfast cereal. Stop buying snack foods. If she's hungry when she gets in from school, offer fruit only..

Can you get your partner or one of her older siblings involved in helping her exercise? Walk the dog?

What kind of things does she like to eat? Maybe if you could outline what a typical few days worth of food looks like for her people might be able to give better advice?
I'm sorry to hear that your doctor isn't taking your concerns seriously. It seems wrong that they are fobbing you off as there must be some support they can give you. We hear so much about the obesity epidemic, but here you are, trying to do something to improve things for your daughter and not being taken seriously. I think it is awful that they aren't helping you to help her. I wonder if there is anyone else you could turn to for advice - someone at school for instance? Is there a school nurse?Ask the teachers if there is anyone they can suggest. Maybe you could get a referral to a paediatric dietician?
I hope you get the help that you need as you are obviously a very caring mother.

School do not think she is massively overweight, and see no issue either.
She is 132cm and just over 6stone. She wears a size 3 shoe And age 11-12 clothes for some insight.

So on a typical day she will have wheatabix with just milk for breakfast, a fruit snack, lunch - a wholemeal wrap or some tuna pasta, another fruit snack and then dinner. She’ll then have 2 biscuits for bed.

She is the middle child, older Dd is a teen, younger is 5. They all get offered the same in appropriate sizes, the other 2 will eat anything, just this one that is a bit picky and won’t always eat what is given.

I do not buy sweets for the house nor chocolate, just biscuits (digestives or custard creams)

She will eat tuna pasta until it comes out of her ears, she’s not a massive fan of meat - only chicken with gravy - not a fan of potatoes - chips, jacket spuds are a massive no and she will tolerate mash sometimes.

She drinks very, very diluted squash at home - this is a whole different subject for now as she has bladder problems and would go for dayS with no water - just milk so I was advised to really dilute the squash to enhance her liquid intake.