Why are people so arsey about vegetarian kids?

[bohemianbint]

DS is 14 months and vegetarian, because I am - we don't have meat in the house and I don't touch it so there's no way I'd be feeding him meat even if I wanted to. (Which I don't.) The way I see it, it's not a problem, I know about what foods to give him to make sure he's not missing out and he's a very healthy lad who will eat anything.

So yesterday, my brother said me "forcing" vegetarianism on him is the same as me "forcing" religion on him and compared it to christening a child and making a fundamental decision for him.

The way I see it is he can do whatever when he's older (but I'll never be cooking it for him!) but if he chooses to be a vegetarian he can't "un-eat" the meat. If he wants to eat meat, then fine. Why should I "force" meat eating on him? I had it forced on me and it really screwed me up.

Anyone else had to deal with this sort of attitude and how do you deal with it? I found "shut up" worked reasonably well yesterday (I get so tired of justifying myself!) but not really that eloquent, is it...

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

I disagree....

If had remained vegetarian (could be argued that I 'saw the light' ), I would definitely have, for the ease of catering for a family, fed my children vegetarian meals.

However, if they were out and about and they asked for something that contained meat I wouldnt prevent them from eating it.

With DP a devout Carnivore when we met, and me a Vegetarian, we have reached a happy compromise with food whereby we have meat sometimes, but not in every meal I dont feel much like the converted one, I can tell you

[Walnutshell]

LadyMuck - have you considered that some of us veggies just see our diet as 'what we eat' rather than something with a title? I only use the term vegetarianism as a shorthand way of letting people know I don't eat meat and fish rather than describing my lifestyle choice. I just eat food. And love choosing, cooking and eating it. No. Big. Deal.

Lifestyle choice, pah! No more than any other choice.

[spooklesandwhine]

A lady i used to work with classed herself as a vegetarian as she only ate organic meat

[Walnutshell]

Yes, that's a weird one. Essentially she is a weird meat-eater though (for her description) and not a weird veggie - hurrah!

[LadyMuck]

But if it is just a short hand for what you eat why do you assume that those who eat meat somehow feel secretly guilty about the fact?

[spooklesandwhine]

I've never seen my being a veggie as anything different or wierd I love food and eat lots of it I just don't eat meat

[Walnutshell]

I didn't say they felt guilty, I said those that "get arsey" (as per OP) might feel insecure about their own decision.

I don't feel the need to get arsey if someone eats meat btw.

[Walnutshell]

EXACTLY SPOOKLES! Why can't people be happy for us ?

[spooklesandwhine]

because then there would be no need to debate walnut and that would be boring

[Walnutshell]

True.

I'm going to a hog roast on Friday...

[sis]

I definately don't want ds to eat meat - but if, when he is older, he chooses to eat meat then I would have to accept it.

When he was younger, I explained what food we, as vegetarians, did not eat and when he asked why, I explained my reasons including the fact that I think it is wrong to eat animals and fish but I also explained that it was important to understand and accept that other people did not share my opinions and he should not express disgust or revulsion at other people's choice of food. He is almost 9 now and seems happy enough with his food choices - although I still wish he would eat a bigger variety of fruit and veg!

[Walnutshell]

Very reasonable of you, sis. Shame the borther in the OP doesn't exercise the same consideration.

[UnquietDad]

It is interesting that omnivores are always expected to cater for vegetarians but vegetarians almost never cater for omnivores.

[Walnutshell]

What's a borther?

brother

[Walnutshell]

UQD - no mystery to that one: presumably omnivores don't only eat meat.

[UnquietDad]

No, but we like to have a balanced diet involving a choice.

I quite like most vegetarian food, actually, so I'm not really complaining. But it just amuses me.

BACON!
BACON!
BACON!

Ahem.

[sis]

Walnutshell, I meant to put in my post that I wish others would show us vegetarians the same consideration! To be honest, I think most people do, but the ones who don't are often so persistent and objectionable in the way they express their disagreement!

[PoshCod]

homer simpson icon needed

[LadyMuck]

"I'll tell you why people generally get arsey, it's because it undermines their own decisions which they are perhaps not entirely happy with."

But that still seems an odd conclusion to draw if you take the view that it is "just what we eat"?

Catering for any dietary preference doesn't bother me on a small scale. Some of the dcs friends won't eat rice, or food in sauces or certain veg. No problem, I'll just work round them. Trying to accomodate the needs of a child who is having some of their preferences dictated to them is slightly different, but is only a pain when you're doing it on the larger scale eg at a party. If you're the type of vegetarian who doesn't mind if their child chooses and eats a ham sandwich then you're my type of vegetarian. Can't see why anyone would ever get arsey with you.

That said Ds2 has just started reception, and there are only 5 non-vegetarians in his class of 16. I suspect that this is probably the year where I opt for vegetarian pizza en masse for the birthday party.

[spooklesandwhine]

UD that obviously depends on the veggie if people come to my house to eat I will cater for them as I have no problem touching meat, but also if I know someone may have trouble thinking of what to cook for me I suggest we get a takeaway or go out for a meal instead

After 10 years of being with DP I still have to take my own food to PIL when we go as 'they don't know what to cook' yes it frustrates me but as it is my choice to be veggie not theirs I take the food (but i do moan at DP all the way there about the fact that its not that difficult to pick up veggie stuff in tesco these days!)

[sis]

I really don't get the argument about vegetarians not catering for omnivores. I have a friend who does not like coriander and when she comes over, i don't put coriander in the food (we are indian so this is not exactly easy!). I like coriander but when I am a guest at her house, i do not expect her to cater for the fact that I like coriander because she can cook a whole host of other foods that I can eat and enjoy!

[UnquietDad]

Yes, but to be fair, there is a big difference between coriander and meat.

[sis]

BTW, I would be happy to take my own food to someone's house if they found it a struggle to cater for vegetarians.

[Carmenere]

The thing is that many vegetarians, if not most, have made a moral decision not to eat other living things and this, I think, is where the clash appears.
Because if this is your stance then it is logical to think that your decision is right and others is wrong.
Now if you are evangelical about your choice you become a pain in the hole, whether you are a meat eater or a vegetarian.

[UnquietDad]

maybe I should follow sis's example. Turn up to veggie buffet with a leg of lamb over my shoulder and a gammon under each arm.