Angry 2 Year Old

[TripUpTantrums]

My DS gets SO angry when he hurts himself.
He has to be hurt really badly to want cuddles.

Usually any kind of mishap results in a major tantrum just screaming and crying on the floor. If I try to go near he gets more angry and kicks and hits me. If I try to cuddle or pick him up he also gets much worse, if I even say from standing back oh that looks sore do you want a cuddle or something he'll scream at me and kick in my direction.
I usually end up just leaving him to it till he calms down but I feel guilty that it seems I'm just ignoring him when he's hurt. I just want to help and give him a cuddle!

Anyone experienced similar and have any tips?

It’s probably not anger but pain - some kids just feel pain / painful sensations differently to others and deal with things differently. How is his communication? Can he tell you what hurts or how he feels?

@GrumpyHoonMain communication still not great. He could say 'hurts' but wouldn't in the moment when he's like that. Couldn't communicate how he's feeling really like wouldn't say he was sad or angry etc

That is quite unusual, I have never come across that before.

I have had a search online and it really doesn't throw up much. The only medical reason I could see might be the following, but there isn't enough information to know if the symptoms match.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/developmental-coordination-disorder-dyspraxia/symptoms/

If it isn't a medical reason for his behaviour then it would suggest his tantrum is a way of communicating with you. Since it isn't a healthy way, I wouldn't engage him until he stops and as soon as he stops I would give him all of the comfort in the world. Remember he hasn't "lost it" so to speak, as he is perfectly aware of you mid tantrum.

@Tacca thanks I've had a look at that link but I wouldn't say symptoms match that well. A few things on the list he's not great at but I wouldn't say he's uncoordinated. Walked and crawled quite early.
Sometimes I wonder if he's perhaps embarrassed and the way he doesn't seem to want anyone involved.

Commenting again just to see if anyone else has any ideas?

He’s a little boy feeling big emotions, and at the moment he doesn’t have any strategies to deal with it. I think this behaviour is quite common actually. He’s made it quite clear that he doesn’t want to be touched or held while he’s feeling this upset (not all kids do), so I would sit quite close, but not invasively, and label his feelings for him. ‘Wow you’re really angry, you must be very hurt’, ‘I can hear that .....made you feel very cross’ etc. No judgement, no solutions.
If that makes him even more cross, then as long as he is safe I would move even further away, and give him time to gather himself. When he is calming down then you can ask if he wants a cuddle, or a drink or whatever.
He’ll get better at managing as he gets older.

Most of these things are just a phase. In 6 months he probably won't be doing it anymore.

DD went through a phase of insisting on being alone when she hurt herself - she would lie on the sofa and not want cuddles. She stopped doing it but at the time I found it really upsetting! It could well just be a phase.

My dd sometimes does this. Not always though. It tends to be when we are around other people that she will get cross if she hurts or nearly hurts herself. She sometimes gets angry at me for warning her that she is about to get hurt too.
I wondered whether it was a bit of embarrassment.

It’s not uncommon though. I have worked in schools and nurseries and have known lots of children who react like this.

Thanks for the responses. It honestly makes me feel better that others have seen this sort of behaviour before and I hope it will pass especially when he can talk more and explain what he wants/doesn't want a bit better!