4 year old behaviour - whinging etc

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On average, how often does/did your (recently) 4-year old whinge, cry, have a tantrum/meltdown, misbehave, or refuse to do as they're told?

Roughly.

For example:
Several times per year / month / week / day / hour / minute?

NB I'm thinking about their behaviour while they're with their parents (as opposed to while at school - which I know can often be different).

Just interested to know what the range of "normal" is.

DP and I have different views on this... Thanks for your answers!

Only just turning 4 but- on a great day, might whine a couple of times over silly things but is very quickly brought around. On an average/good day, will definitely whine a few times and might either cry or have a tantrum once. On a bad day...... buckle up, because it’s constant whining, several bouts of crying, and tantrums to the point of screaming as though she’s been stabbed in the heart.

My loveliest friends tell me they also have issues with whining and tantrums. (Similar aged kids). Can’t bloody wait for it to pass though.

With my eldest, now 7, it was very infrequently and I totally thought it was because I’d nailed this parenting lark.

My second, now 4 year old, has proved it’s got fuck all to do with me and more about their little personalities. Up until recently, all of the things you mentioned were happening many times a day. I was totally exasperated, she became a tiny little red faced tyrant. It felt relentless. What I noticed is is that it’s amplified when they’re tired or hungry or not feeling listened to so I’ve adopted the consistent approach and learnt of any triggers and worked around them. I’ve discovered that if they’re being entirely unreasonable age appropriate discipline is necessary (even if my heart was breaking) as they thrive on boundaries. She won’t be 5 until February but she’s definitely becoming more enjoyable to be around, I love her so much!

Totally agree with the above- hunger causes my nearly 4 to go absolutely loopy and morph into a horrid devil child, nearly every time.

Mine were all different. However I think ensuring kids have the basics of enough sleep is a starting point. Holding my difficult child in a positive light and having fun and giving attention for good behaviour helps I know. All great but not easy when worn down

If it makes you feel any better my most whiny tantrummy child is the most quick witted fun and social child

Oh several times a day. Just getting a drop of water on his clothes while washing his hands can trigger a full on whinging session.

Whinging is daily. Full blown tantrums are much rarer than they were 8 months ago but I would still say once a week/fortnight and are 99% of the time caused because he is tired. Which worries me that he starts school on Monday and we may have a few rough evenings while he builds his stamina up but it’s part and parcel of having a four year old I’d say.
And of course they are all different. I have friends children who I have never seen tantrum, and other friends who’s children have a meltdown every time I see them.

Before 2 years of age, many times a day. After they are 2+ and can understand most things you are explaining to them very rarely and with our two 8 year olds never.

Forget terrible two's, give me a 2 year old over a 1 year old any day of the week.

However our 1 year old (almost 2) is showing signs of autism, so I may retract this comment at a later date!

Very similar to Threenagertoteenager'a little one!

DS is 5 at the end of the year, some days he is an absolute angel, maybe a tiny bit of whinging here and there but he can be so good, compliant and calm. Usually on a day when he is getting what he wants/we are doing something he likes. Also if he's with just me or DH, without DC2, he's always so good.

Some days are a bit more whingey. I would say misbehaviour is probably the most common out of the behaviours you've listed - I feel like DS will start to act up/be silly/provoke us or DC2 when he's bored or craving attention. It starts as mischievous but is really annoying and gets naughty.

He's not such a huge tantrummer, but he will cry over such small things sometimes. He gets angry more than tantrums.

I still find him pretty easy to be honest, 4-5 has been a much easier, more reasonable age than 3-4!

8 times a day at worst but only ever at home. She grew out of toddler tantrums a few years ago these are very different more stroppy and huff saying “It’s the worst day ever”, “I hate (insert favourite food). I’ll never be hungry again”. There are several threads on the parenting section about 4 year old’s behaviour.

Thanks everyone, that's really helpful! Sounds as if our 4yo is pretty normal then (as I thought!)
Thanks for the tips too.