What's your earliest memory of your mum/dad?

[mummyofpeanut]

I have 2 DC (3&8months old).. I play with them cuddle them etc.. then tantrum happens, time out happens, maybe some stern shouting here and there and I wonder,

What will my DC have earliest memory of me? Will it be a good one or bad one?

I do not recall any earliest of my mum except the routine ones.. eating sleeping bath etc

With my dad, i have extreme positive and negative memories.. i remember him letting me wear his work shirt and dancing in the bed(i pretend to be a bird i think)
Then I remember a big smack for painting my nails with these big markers not meant for children

I am curious, what do you remember about your parent/parents?

I remember always having fun with my dad and my mum always telling us off, making us do chores and extra school work.

I always loved my dad, but as I have gotten older I realise that if I'd have had two dads, I would probably be in jail now and if I'd have had two mums I'd probably have been a brain surgeon.

In my memories i tend to favour the negatives over the positives so i have strong memories of my mum giving me a smack when i'd been naughty and memories of my dad threatening to hit me with a belt if i was playing up (he never did, but i dont know if thats because my mum always stopped him from actually doing it!)
I have other memories of sleeping in my mums bed and eating takeaway and watching films etc but they are not as vivid as the negative ones. I also dont have many early early memories, my earliest memories are from about 7 onwards which i find strange.

my earliest memories are from when I was 2.5, and are just some sensations (I can remmeber sitting in a warm sea with it lapping over my legs, I can date it because it was the only overseas holiday until I was older, and the sea was warm)

I can't distinguish the everyday memories, as to how old I was.

I think there are 2 levels to these memories.

1. I know I was safe, loved, life was consistent, I was never scared, I felt confident to take risks and lots of play etc.
2. specific memories over specific incidents/events

My earliest memory is my parents rushing me to hospital when I was 4 when I had an asthma attack, can't remember anything before then so I have about 5 years worth of memories of my dad before he died and mainly I remember the stuff we did together on weekends more than anything else.

I remember always feeling safe and loved with my mum, plus all the routine daily stuff. I went to nursery with her as well (she ran her own pre-school) so we spent a lot of time together. All of it fond memories, despite remembering that she got cross occasionally, because I knew she loved me and she made me feel secure.

With my dad I remember being on eggshells knowing that he might explode at any moment. That was at quite a young age - I learned to be very watchful and make myself very small when he was around. I have very few 'good' memories of him when I was young because I just didn't spend much time with him. Ultimately, he was unpredictable, inconsistent and I felt unsafe.

@1990shopefulftm so sorry about your dad..

I guess we chose to remember in your case as much memories with your dad..

As for negative i remember that a lot and wonder if its just because i was so small or is it like they all say"you notice that one black spot on a paper"

I don't remember anything really specific about mum or dad as a kid. Only stuff from when I was older - being chased with a wooden spoon by dad and getting hit mainly when about 6 or 7. Earliest memory of any caregiver would be when I was at childcare maybe about 3 years old and having lunch, I was rocking on my chair and it slid out from under me and I smashed my face on the edge of the table, I remember feeling no pain but seeing everyone running around screaming and wondering why, then looking down and seeing a massive puddle of blood. Then later at a doctor's office all the walls were red and the doctor was trying to stab my face with all sorts of sharp torture devices and had several nurses holding me down as I was screaming and struggling, then my grandmother bursts in the room and says, "don't you dare touch her!" and she whisks me off to the hospital which was white and very calm.

I can remember lying face down in my cot, and my dad turning me over and with a huge finger removing a spider from my mouth, given the location of the cot I was just under 2.

The earliest one of my mum that I can definitely date is of her telling me I would have to go into hospital the next day (hence I can date it as I know exactly when the operation happened). It was a couple of months before my second birthday, and I was sitting in the bathroom watching my mum hand washing stuff in the sink when she gave me this news. The sun was streaming in through the windows (which it would have been, as it was the drought summer of 1976).

The earliest one of my dad that I can date is the next day - the day of said operation (it made a big impression on me). I was given a pre-med (yukky pink stuff) and put in a cot, but I refused to stay in the cot so my dad took me on his knee to fall asleep. He was wearing light blue jeans.

Waving goodbye to the pilot after a holiday. Crying because my dad flushed the loo when i had wanted to do it. Being shut in the garden in my pyjamas as a punishment as a toddler. Being smacked several times and told off because I'd let myself out the front door as a toddler and was playing outside. Crying and getting another smack as i smacked my dad. If my kids had let themselves out the front door as toddlers I'd have blamed myself, but in the 70s the kid got the blame.
Jumping over the waves with family friends then ending up under water in a dip and crawling out of the sea. My clothes were so heavy. Going to my family sitting on the beach and crying.

@Ifailed omg 😐

Its a wonder we remember so much soo young! As young as 2 its incredible!

I'll probably ask my kids when they are older what they remember I do worry how they see me (scolding monster or cuddly one 🙈)

I remember getting lost in the park.. it was the scariest moment of my life, talking a walk with my family and I just wandered off ☹️ my uncle found me later but I cant imagine one of mine going through that!

Now i wonder at the competence of my parents 🤦🏽‍♀️

Its a wonder we remember so much soo young! As young as 2 its incredible!

I read an interesting article that theorised our memories are not of events themselves, but the last time we remembered them. So each time we remember something we are overwriting the last time - and this can account for memories losing accuracy over time, and also explains why we remember more 'extreme things' - trauma or great happiness - because those are the things we replay the most.

What I find interesting is seemingly random, mundane childhood memories - like a memory of walking home from school aged 10, where nothing happened. I wonder if the brain picks memories that are representative of a period of time, or perhaps forms a composite picture of several, to say 'this is what it was generally like when you walked home from school aged 10'.

I find the subject of memory fascinating. If anyone has any book recommendations (for a layperson) please do post them!

I remember df coming home for lunch from work and eating together. I remember being put in a sidecar by df to go on holiday, dm was pillion on motorbike , seems weird now.
Also remember df taking me to hospital to have my head stitched when I fell backwards on a wall. My older dsis told me to wear one roller skate and lift my other leg up!

@Pelleas thats interesting! I do think so too regarding my early memories and wonder if some fragments of my memories seem bit dramatic. Maybe I overwrote it to keep it as an important memory.. or because we add drama to everything as a child our earlier memories are more colourful 😬 ?

Like the time i got lost for ex. I "remember" crying for "hours" and been "separate" for a long time. Maybe its just like 10 mins and ive been maybe a 2-3 meters away! I wouldn't know because my mum keep saying i didnt go far as i think 🙈

Either way to a child these things might be scary

Its a wonder we remember so much soo young! As young as 2 its incredible!
It is, when I was younger, say in my 20s, it was a very vivid memory, now it's more like a memory of a memory, if that makes sense?