Baby #2 broodiness has hit... do it, don’t do it, wait?

[MamaofDe18]

My DD is 2.5, ive never felt broody for a second until about 6 months ago. I’m at the point that I think about a second baby and a pregnancy daily but everytime I have a good thought it’s followed by worry and doubt.. “can we afford it, will I cope with two, will it ruin the relationship I have with my dd.. I just love her so much I can’t help but feel guilty imagining myself splitting my time or potentially being a stressed out, not so great mummy 😬

I feel like 3 years would be a lovely age gap but then I wonder if I should just wait until she starts school.

I’d love to hear other advise... and if you say wait, I’d love to know how to stop feeling broody 🤪 I feel like I’m going crazy haha

*never felt broody for a second.. since having her! Of course was very broody before we ttc her!

Honestly, those questions you are asking yourself need to be answered! Nobody on an Internet forum can tell you those. Can you afford it is the biggie - sit down and properly work it out! Work out what you’ll be paying for childcare for DD at the age that #2 would need childcare etc (assuming you have it). Do the maths properly and then decide if you have enough spare to be worth it. Don’t forget that if you work, your pay will be less during maternity leave.

Similarly, try to imagine what your DD’s daily life will be like when #2 arrives to decide if the Impact is worth it. My DD will be 4 when our twins arrive (that’s something else to consider - it wasn’t in our plan!), and will be at preschool 4 days a week, so that gives her time to herself, me time to look after the little ones properly, and we had some plans for how she would get 1:1 time with each of her parents at the weekend (somewhat buggered by Covid, admittedly) and the day she is at home with me. How much impact would another child have on your DD?

It sounds like a very cold way of looking at it, but I think it’s a good idea to be realistic with yourself about how it will work and what compromises you are/aren’t prepared to make. Personally, we are going to find our finances quite strained for some time to come, but we think we put enough thought into preparing DD and avoiding too much negative impact on her. We felt it was the right time for us.

If you decide to wait, no real suggestions on avoiding feeling broody! Just try and distract yourself, or remind yourself that it’s not all that long to wait. The time will pass.

I got pregnant with my second son when my first was 2 years and 9 months old.

I won’t lie, the first 4 months were difficult in terms of my eldest learning how to share me and it was very upsetting for us both, to the point where I felt guilty for having a second baby. It was an emotionally trying time.

However, when baby number 2 was about 6 months old things seemed to turn around and it didn’t take long until my eldest adored his little brother.

When the youngest started walking (9 months old) they were always off together and were inseparable

As the months and years passed they grew closer and closer and when I watched them I felt like I could cry with happiness. Seeing how much they loved each other was just overwhelming. I felt so, so lucky to have them both and watching them grow and develop together was lovely.

They are three and six now and have a very special relationship. They are best friends and they simply can’t be parted - even when they’re watching the TV they sit next to each to each other, close enough to be nearly in each other’s lap and they lean into each other and hold hands.

My husband wasn’t keen on the idea of a second baby, whereas I don’t want our son to be an only, but he eventually agreed (after a year of discussions) and even he will say now that having a second baby was the best thing we ever did.

When I see them together now I can easily say that those first few difficult months were absolutely worth it.

@QueenofmyPrinces oh my goodness that’s so lovely 🥺 thanks for sharing!

Well I have a sister and we are very close. Our age gap was pretty small (1 year 3 weeks) and we had a wonderful childhood together. We are 36 and 37 and so close, everyone jokes we have our own little word that can’t be penetrated. My whole childhood is wrapped up in her, we had so so much fun together!! We can sit for hours and hour reminiscing about our childhood and we can laugh until we cry

I couldn’t imagine not having anyone to do that with.

We were together all the time through our childhood and our teens until we eventually went our separate ways when we were about 21 and university and relationships meant we saw less of each other. However, she’s still like my best friend, and husband/kids aside, she’s my most favourite person to be with.

I know some siblings aren’t close, but on the other hand, sibling relationships can be very special too.

I love being an aunt to her children, I love them so much, and she feels the same about my children. Being an uncle and having nieces/nephews was also something I wanted my first son not to potentially miss out which is another reason I didn’t want him to be an only child.

I think most people make the choice of how many children to have based on their experiences of childhood, and that’s why I wanted more than one.

I’m at home with my 3 year old now whilst my six year old is at school and all I keep being asked is “when is (brother’s name) coming home?”

They are just adorable together