Please help!!!! I'm desperate

[sophie269]

My son is 4 weeks old. He literally hates being in the car seat. Hysterical crying every single time and does it the whole journey. He went blue and stopped breathing the other day from it. Hates being in a push chair, cries the entire time. Hysterical crying when putting him on his back to sleep. Hates being in a carrier. Also hates going in any chair ( I've brought 5 so far) I literally can do anything!!

My son was the same. He’s 13 weeks now and getting a bit better with the car seat and pram but it’s still a challenge.

Try and swaddle him and place him on his side to sleep. That’s the only thing that worked for us. We make sure someone is awake to watch him and wedge him against a cushion so he can’t roll over.

I’m sure this is against NCT guidelines and I’ll get shouted at for the advice. But it was the only way to help him sleep and we did it as safe as possible

I have absolutely no experience of this sorry, but If you don't have any luck with other replies I would try the following.

Have the car seat in your house and place him in it when he is asleep. If he cries pick him up and don't make it any more traumatic. Once he is used to waking up in it without panicking try putting him in it for very short periods, getting longer and longer over time. Obviously it isn't a great place to sleep for long periods, so just when it is a nap.

Hopefully that will allow you to take him in the car eventually.

Sometimes newborns are like this, do you know about the 4th trimester? It's the suggestion that they aren't quite ready to be out of your body at this age hence their distress.

My son was often the same. I literally never used his pram, just carried him or put him in sling.

Car seat, I made short journeys, stopped often and used nursery rhyme videos on the phone to distract him. We co-slept from about 8 weeks. I'm not saying my way is right, but it worked for us

It does get better, I know it's hard right now.

Mine was the same - screamed all the time in the car seat and wouldn’t entertain the pram. We had her in a good sling (hired from a sling library with excellent guidance) from 10 days old and she stayed there for about 8 weeks! She also needed to be in constant motion, basically like she was back in the womb.

I know it’s really, really hard but time is your friend here. The change is gradual but they all get there in the end. Lower your expectations and do whatever it takes to survive with your sanity intact. You really cannot spoil a baby.

Is your sling a stretchy wrap type one? He might like one of those where he is tight to your chest if he needs that close contact. Co-sleeping in bed may be necessary if you are willing to entertain the idea. Hope it gets better soon.

Mine were both like this. They had reflux, so being prone hurt them. Might this be the cause?

I was just about to ask about the possibility of reflux - DD was exactly the same, I dreaded putting her in her car seat or pram. Might be worth investigating? Infant Gaviscon (prescribed by GP) helped a lot, and eventually she grew out of it completely.

Yes, I should also add that mine did indeed have silent reflux. Gaviscon helped and she was prescribed Lansoprazole. She was weaned early and grew out of it by 6 months. Being able to sit up helped a lot.

We also took her to a cranial osteopath at 8 weeks which helped enormously (though some people think it's quackery).

It will get better OP. Mine was the same when a young baby, I remember one particular car journey where I had to get petrol and she was crying so loud I couldn't hear what the kiosk lady was saying to me over the tannoy.... I ended up driving off without filling up and parked up somewhere crying hysterically.
It may be worth looking into what other posters have said regarding reflux.

My 5 week old can be like this turns out she has a milk and soya allergy and reflux. She has carobel for the reflux and special formula and I don’t eat dairy or soya as she is mix fed. There is probably a reason for the constant crying as others have said.
I also put dd on her side to sleep in her Moses basket. Usually just in the day when I’m awake and in the room but I have done it in the night when I’ve been desperate and too tired to safely coalesce. Not recommended though.

Mine also the same and suffered terribly with reflux, I wondered if the seat made it worse. She would scream blue murder every time, eventually grew out of it.

Mine was the same and doesnt have reflux. Your baby is still super little and probably just wants to be on you all the time.

Hes almost 6 months now, but I remember he hated the car seat particularly. So much so that we got a new one, which worked.

What does he like? Some newborns are super clingy, my DD was. I’m guessing he wants to be held and snuggled up all the time? This is not unusual (as PP said, look up 4th trimester) - many newborns do not want to be put down.

Swaddling/stretchy sling might do the trick, but you have to give them time to get used to them and make it as easy and pleasant for them as possible. My DD would go in the stretchy sling for a while, but only if I was moving. So for the first week, I let her have it all her way and wandered round the house with her in the sling for 30-45 minutes every morning. Once she was used to it and felt safe in it, I didn’t need to do that any more. She hated the car seat too, but she was more settled if once she was strapped in I tucked a blanket around her so her arms were tucked in, and that seemed to help.

I couldn’t put mine on her back to sleep at that age. I had to hold her till she was completely out and then transfer her. Not easy! A lot of the time I just held her for naps in the early days.

Your baby is TINY. Right now, he feels safe and comfortable when he can hear your heartbeat, smell you and hear your voice. That’s really normal at his age! He won’t always be like this. For the time being, you need to adapt to him, rather than him adapting to you. As he gets older, he’ll learn to be more flexible. He’ll become more interested in his surroundings, and the pram will become and interesting place to sit and enjoy the view from. You need to give him some time.