FIVE YEAR OLD DS HAS NEVER BEEN DRY AT NIGHT-PLEASE HELP!!!

[swallowmeupwhole]

I am a name changer due to the sheer embarrassment of my situation. My oldest son will be 6 in January and is still HAVING to wear nappies at night or he WILL wet the bed.
We forbid drinks past around 6.30 which, on most nights, he is fine about as he so desperately wants to be dry at night. He will have a couple of bedtime wees and I have regularly also lifted him around 11-1 o'clock in his sleep and he has done another wee.
The problem seems to be: A.He is the deepest sleeper I have ever met-sometimes you have to shake him,(not violently I hasten to add!!), for minutes to wake up.
B.His body seems to create urine throughout the night from nothing!

Has anyone heard of this?

He is perfectly fine in the day and was dry from around 1 & three quarters to age two but come the night time, then its a different kettle of fish.
I have tried SO many times to keep the nappy off to train him to feel that he hasn't got the easy option but to no avail. I just end up with a cold, wet little boy who has to swap beds and me with masses of washing.
Its really getting me down!!
He also can't stay at other friends houses-only relatives know the situation and we always will put a nappy on him when he stays at their houses.

What do you suggest?
Will the health visitor be able to help?
Should I see a Doctor?

HELP!!!!

sounds perfectly within normal range to me.
ds1 was dry age 5.5
ds2 age 6.3 had two dry nights in a row four days ago, but is back to wetting again. previousy he had maybe three dry nights in his life.
first of all, recognise that it is within accepted norms.
second, a few deep breathes, and stop stressing yourself about it. stick him in a pullup, and get him to deal with any mess he makes.
third, speak to the hv, and she will see about a referral to eneurisis clinic. they dont usually consider it a problem till age seven.

there is a mumsnetter with a teenager who isnt dry yet.

HI,
This is very similar to another thread but can't find it.
My ds is just five and still not dry at night although I'm trying himagain at the moment. I lift him at about 11ish too. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
If it makes you feel better neither of my nephews were dry before they were six and they are both absolutely fine now. At the time, the hv told my sister not to worry until they got to seven.
I just try not to worry too much about it. Every now and again, like now, my ds goes a few nights dry and we give him a go without the drynites. We'll see what happens this time.
Hope this helps.

It's not uncommon, other people on here are going to reply to say their DC didn't manage to go dry thru the night until age 8+.

Actually, there was interview in paper this w/end with an American comedienne who used to wet the bed until she was 16... she felt so ashamed but found out later both her parents were the same -- so she can blame their genes, it wasn't her fault after all. And now she tells everybody .

You can ask a doctor for advice but they may send you away with nothing, or try some meds which are supposed to kickstart the brain hormones that make it happen.

please don't be embarrassed - my DS is the same age as yours and he has never had a dry night either. I know at least a few of his friends who are the same too.

I take comfort in the fact that the nappies he wears are for age 4-7 - he can't be the only one!

(BTW - I refuse to worry about it or even think about it very often until he is 7)

I think you would be astounded at the number of children not dry at night at this age or even older. The outer limit of absolutely normal for being toilet trained in the day is 6. It's a neurological development issue, not a training one and it happens when it happens. In fact, I don't think GPs or HVs recommend any kind of intervention until at least age 7. Don't be embarrassed!

If you search on here you will find quite a few of us with older children that still wet. Ds is 7.

Not at all unusual - my ds is 5.6 and like yours is no where near ready to lose the pull-up at night.

At least yours is dry in the day - mine frequently has accidents

ds has just turned 5 and is desperate to be dry at night but he too is a really sound sleeper. The other night he fell out of bed and carried on sleeping! He does occasionally have a dry pull up in the morning but I am not too worried yet. I wouldn't even consider him going for a sleepover at this age anyway.

I did try underpants over the summer but got fed up of the washing. Instead of using throw away bedmats though I found some washable alternatives on ebay - think they are incontinence pads (used for adults) they are great though and absorb a lot while staying dry, you can use them without a sheet so if the bed is wet it still feels dry.

Sorry I haven't been around but thank you so much for your comforting comments.

Does anyone else have any words of wisdom?

BUMP

I think you just have to wait DS1 6 and DD 4 are still wet at night, DS2 3 is dry, it causes endless upset in our house but thats the way it is. DH is a pead so I know this is normal and none of his colleagues will see them until they are at least 7. If you need some reassurance speak to the school nurse, I spoke to ours about DS1.

Swallowmeupwhole, out of interest can you tell me what sort of nappies and wraps/plastic pants you use? I have a nearly 4 year old DS, who is still in nappies at night and a particularly heavy wetter. I'm not worried at the moment, and I'm sure your DS will grow out of it soon.

My ds is 11 and has never been dry. It is a family trait. I won't tell you how old I was when I last wet the bed

Hiya,
My DS1 will be 5 in January and still isn't dry at night. I've attempted to take him out of nappies several times, the latest being about a month ago but give up due to the amount of washing! He's now progressed onto getting up during the evening to wee, but once asleep he too mangages to magic it out of nowhere and produces gallons of the stuff! Even with a nappy on he's often competely wet through in the morning, as are his bedsheets! He's also not great during the day, with accidents tending to be in the afternoons. He's just started school, part time at the mo and seems fine there, just can't seem to be bothered at home. It's all sooooooo frustrating!

Not dry at 5. Not a big deal. It's not that unusual. 2 of my children were 5+ and 9+ before they were dry at night and even then we had 'accidents'. Try not to worry too much about it. There's plenty of time yet.

Here's a story to inspire ....

I was beginging to think ds3 would never be dry at night. He's 5.5. Suddenly, this week, out of the blue .... five dry nights in a row and counting.

YIPPPEEEEEEE!!!!!!

You just can't rush tem. They'll do it when they're ready.

Don't despair as it's very common.

Ah well - obv heaps of us in same boat. As others say, they will do it eventually, and no point stressing ourselves and them until they do.
I decided not to bring up the subject any more, DS does of his own accord occasionally and we have agreed to get him up a couple of times to wee during night. But, as lots of u have also said, they save gallons of the stuff til after mum and dad go to bed (where do they keep it??) so we've agreed that when we have dry pull up's for a couple of nights then we'll give the no-nappy thing a go. It's a very long way off... but hey no worries.

DS1 and ds2 were both dry daytime around their 2nd birthday, but nights were a different matter.

DS1 was about 5, I think. Ds2 was well past 6. But both went from predictably sodden wet every night, to stone dry very quickly and of their own accord: once their bodies had reached the appropriate maturity.

There isn't a lot you can do about it IMO.

Try not to get stressed about it, leave the nappies on, so you don't get endless laundry. I was quite concerned about ds1, but far more relaxed with ds2 even though he was even later to catch the knack.

Ds1 wasn't dry at night totally until 7 - no entirely surprising as DH and DB both wet the bed into their early teens.
One piece of advice i would give, is don't restrict fluids - it can make things much worse by concentrating the urine and irritating the bladder, meaning they can't hang on, the main advice I've read is to avoid acidic drinks after 6pm, water, milk, apple or blackcurrant is fine.
Lisa X

My son (now 9) wasn't dry at night until just before he was 7. I don't think his body was ready before then. Once he was dry that was it - very very few wet beds since.

Just thought I'd mention my friend who has a 10 year old who isn't dry at night. He sleeps very heavily like your son but when he went away with the Cubs recently he did get up in the night to wee and stayed dry. He was concerned about going beforehand and so must have had a certain level of anxiety which meant that he didn't sleep as heavily. My friend appreciates that being anxious isn't good - we all want our children to sleep well BUT she was really relieved that he could do it when he was in a different environment and it maybe opens up the possibility of him having more opportunities to stay at friend's houses and so on. She also got him the PJ shorts (nappies which look like shorts) to wear at Cub camp under his normal PJs so that nobody would have needed to know if he had done a wee.