Settling at nursery

[OnlyLittleMissOrganised]

Can I ask how long it took your 9-10 month old to settle at nursery?

Obviously with lockdown I was WFH every other week from 6 months (we did shared parental leave so my husband looked after LO while I was working in another room). So now we are both back at work. Me still WFH, LO has started going to nursery. We did 2 settling in sessions 1 afternoon for 2 hrs and he was fine. Then 2 hours in a morning two days later and he was unsettled.

He started officially 1st Sept. Did 2 hours very unsettled and same on 2nd Sept. For 3rd and 4th we tried 1 hour and he cried on and off.

We then had to get tested for Covid on Sat (came back negative yesterday). This meant LO had monday and tuesday off this week. So took him back in today. He lasted all of 30 minutes. Crying so much he set the other children off.

Any suggestions would be much appreciated. Thanks.

Hi, I don’t have a little one your age but I have been a nursery nurse for 8 years (currently on mat leave with my first!)
It can take weeks and perseverance for a child of any age to settle at nursery. I know it is the most heartbreaking thing watching your child cry as you leave. But trust me these things take time and they will get there.
I’m sure people will come on here and tell you that their child was like this and now they don’t want to come home

Does your little one have a comforter they could take with them?

Keep going and don’t feel guilty ❤️

He doesnt really have a comforter. He has lots of toys. I have been sending a t shirt and a few other items that he really likes but as yet nothing seems to help.

@OnlyLittleMissOrganised our son was supposed to start nursery in September at 9m. He was absolutely distressed by all strangers. I scraped it and tried childminder where I was with him for a week. He could not cope either. He screamed in distress. When I said I'll try 1on1 with someone, the childminder told me "I would not say this to any parent's face because I understand how hard this is, but your child is not ready for this kind of a change". No matter what she did and how many toys she showed him he was beyond himself, inconsolable. She also said that it's common in nurseries to just tell the parent ":your child is OK" because "why worry the parent about something they have no chance of changing". And I totally get this, and I was in the same boat until the virus happened.

Many UK nurses and qualified lovely personnel will say "they will cry but will settle in a bit" and what they mean is the child will, eventually, stop screaming and give up. He will realise that you are not coming back. It may take 2 weeks or 8 weeks.

If I had absolutely no other choice, and I had to go to work full time I would consider the childminder. I however said to myself that I can WFH and have a DH who also WFH and with a few hours a day with one selected person (we have no family) he will cope the best.

No one can 100% say what goes on in the child's mind and how they will react to the situation and what impact this will have in the future. I did not feel like taking a chance. I had the luxury of a choice, however.