Helpp

[Sooty88]

Hey everyone

I'm a FTM to a beautiful LG who's now 4.5 weeks old. And I'm struggling to help her so I'm hoping for some advice or something from anyone who have or is experiencing the same thing.

So my LG seems to be in pain but isn't crying. She seems to strain, grunt, whinge, arch her back, goes bright red and stiffens her entire body. And she does this all day and night. I've tried her on gripe water & dentinox but nothing helps her. I burp her regularly and she seems to burp every time. I change her bum regularly, her cot is tilted so she's not laying flat. She's on Mamia milk and takes 4oz every hour through the day and every 2 to 3 hours on an evening. I've tried MAM and Nuby bottles and she didn't like them. I'm on Tommee Tippee closer to nature bottles as she seems to like them.

She seems to be fine in herself, she has no temperature, pooing and weeing normally, not really sick and always takes her feed. She is farting a hell of a lot though and when it gets to 4am she's up and very unsettled.

I suspected silent reflux when she was 2 week and I took her to the DRs and I was told that she was fine and healthy and just to carry on with what I'm doing. He just told me to use dentinox and gripe water. I've stopped them now as the gripe water seems to be making her worse.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thank you xxx

A lot of what you describe is normal newborn behaviour and she will grow out of it as her digestive system matures (I know that's not what you want to hear!).

One thing did strike me though - unless it's a typo, 4oz of formula every hour is an awful lot of milk. Could you be over feeding?

As per the previous post, at that age they would normally be on about 4oz every 3 hours so she is having far more than normal.

It definitely comes across as a problem with the stomache/bowel. Dentinox and gripe water can also cause constipation as it is difficult for them to digest at that age, which would make it worse.

The stool should be pretty runny still and at worst like paste. If it is any firmer than that then she has constipation. Of course that can be caused by many things, so if it isn't over feeding I would speak to a doctor about what is causing it and maybe get some lactulose prescribed.

Sorry, 4oz every 2-3 hours on a night and about 2oz every hour through the day. I didn't think you could over feed (sorry I'm still learning) as she is very good at pushing it out when she's full and doesn't want it anymore. And only cries, sticks her fists in her mouth and makes the "hungry" gargle when she's hungry. But she can sometimes do it for comfort and doesn't actually have any bottle at all. But still won't take a dummy.

Her poo is like a korma colour and quite runny which I was always told was normal.

Thanks for your replies xxx

Agree with PP - sounds pretty normal to me but if you are feeding every hour during the day then id definitely say that's causing an issue. She must be very full! I'd aim for every 2-3 hours during the day (though mine never went much past 2 hours) and then 3-4 hours during the night if possible.

Yes, it still sounds like a lot or at least a bit 'snacky'. Could you try gradually spacing out the feeds so she is taking a bit more at least 2 hrs apart?

Feeding a baby every hour must be killing you! I think the most bottles we ever made for our baby was ten in a 24 hr period and that was right at the beginning. By 4-5 weeks she was probably going more like 2.5-3 hrs between feeds.

It could be silent reflux or it could just be how often she's being fed. Cut down to every 2-3 hours and see if that helps.

How would you recommend cutting the feeds down? She's crying for feeding. She does 4 bottles through the night but easily doing 8 feeds through the day. She's been the same since birth. I went through 8 boxes of the ready made bottles in 5 days in hospital.

It might be worth getting in touch with your HV for advice. I have no experience of a hungry baby (mine did have silent reflux and it was a battle to get anything down her because it caused her so much pain).

It's really difficult to know what they want at that age and we have a tendency to just feed them whenever they cry. Are you sure it's a hungry cry? It may well be (you know your baby best) but it might be something else. My baby just cried all the time for the first 8 weeks and it wasn't hunger - she was just very unsettled and needed constant soothing.

Like I said, I'm not an expert so I wouldn't want to advise something that is completely inappropriate. Give the HV team a call, explain the situation and see what they say.

OP if you're feeding on demand and following your daughters hungry signs then id carry on. Go by what you think, you know her best after. As long as you're not force feeding her its fine. I find it incredibly hard to feed a baby that doesnt want to feed.

If you want to space out feeds then thats fine, but 4 weeks old is still so little. I think at maybe 8 or so weeks I started to leave a little gap between waking up and feeding so my son didnt associate waking with being fed.

Newborn feeding is notoriously a pain. It takes time for their digestive systems to mature. You're doing great!

If it were me I'd call my health visitor for advice. Is she definitely hungry? DS had reflux and would cry but it wasn't really hunger. The milk would be making him uncomfortable and he would get upset. Feeding him again did temporarily ease his discomfort but as soon as he stopped it started again. We stopped laying him on his back throughout the day, he would be cuddled while he slept. That left just night time which was a bit less of an issue. When we figured out it was reflux and got it under control things were much easier.
Have you got video of her arching etc that you could show the GP?

Agree with PP about just wanting to be soothed though. Do you use a dummy? That may be a way to soothe and to space out feeds if you want to.

@Ihaveoflate

Yeah, definitely a hungry cry. She does the (what I call) the hunger noise and she chomps her hands. I've got used to her different cries. But like all of us, none of us actually knows what a newborn wants as they cannot talk. I hate to think that I am possibly over feeding her. I've read up on it and she is showing pretty much all the symptoms of it. Which makes me sad. The HV has recommended that I change to hungry baby milk but I don't like the thought of it as I've been told so many bad things about it. But that might be my only option.

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

Definitely not force feeding her, couldn't think of anything worse. Thank you for your support though means a lot.

@mylittlesandwich

I thought it was silent reflux when she was 2 weeks and when I took her to the GP he told me that she was normal and healthy and not to worry it was just her digestive system getting mature and if I was bothered to use gripe water and dentinox. I tried the dentinox from 2 weeks as I didn't think babies could use gripe water until they were a month old. After a week of the dentinox she seemed so much worse so I stopped using it and then when she turned a month old I gave her gripe water for the day and it seemed to work perfectly and definitely helped her but then yesterday which was the third day of using it she seemed to gag, choke and was very badly sick and it was the gripe water that came back up so that scared me. I don't lay her on her back through the day she's usually in my arms or my parents or in her swing. She is pretty much awake through the day anyway.

I feel my HV just can't be bothered and my GP just keeps telling me she's too young and to ride it out. It is frustrating 😒.

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

She won't take a dummy. And I've tried since day 1 with it as I read it's a good prevention of SIDS so I wanted her to have one. Sometimes the bottle is for comfort/soothing she only takes like 5ml and then she settles which is annoying. I've got so many different dummies too. Spent a fortune.

You could be stuck in a cycle where she asks to be fed, takes a small ish feed, so then asks to be fed an hour later and takes only a little again. So essentially snacking rather than having a meal. You could try to really slowly build more space between feeds by distracting her. You might only add 5 mins extra at first. Show her something out of the window. Get someone else to hold her. Go for a walk assertions the house. Then move to ten mins. 15 mins. Carry on. And make her feeds a bit bigger.

It's most likely the immature poo reflex - it has a fancier name I've forgotten.

Basically they figure out they need to strain to poo but they don't know they need to relax at the same time so they spend a lot of time straining ineffectually. It doesn't hurt them, the crying is from the effort they are expending. They eventually figure out how to synchronise both things and the apparent discomfort disappears.

I used to find soothing or relaxing things helped.

That should have said go for a walk around the house!

@Indecisivelurcher

Yeah, we have a selection of animals in tanks, fish, snakes, dragons etc that we show her and talk to her about them which takes her mind off the feed for a whole minute but I definitely understand what you're saying. I will keep doing it and see if I can prolong it. Thank you 😊

@BertieBotts

I do hope so 🙏. Thank you x

Sounds like the poor little mite is in pain with gas.. can u contact ur midwife or health visitor