Hi all, just after some advice / other people's experience please! I'm a ftm and my ds will be 1 in Dec. I had a meeting with my work this week to discuss my return. The plan is for me to return in the new year (I had a l ot of holiday to add on to my leave) and work 4 days a week, 9 till 5 and have 1 day off, probably a mid week day, like Tuesday. I'm happy with this and so is my dh.
The plan for the 4 days is (or Was!) to send ds to nursery 2 days a week and my parents will have him the other 2. Everyone seemed happy with this and we're in the final stages of confirming his place in the nursery we've chosen. Today, we were at my mils house, chatting and we told her the plan as she was asking about it. She had already said ages ago that she can't have ds because she thinks it's too much for her, which I totally get and am fine with. She also knew we were looking at nurseries as I don't expect my parents to have him 4 full days and dh wasn't sure he'd be able to alter his hours.
Anyway, she starts banging on about 'you can't afford nursery 2 days a week' (we can actually, although it would mean cutting back a little) and saying dh 'should have a day off too'?! And also saying she'd have him 'for a few hours' which seems neither here nor there to me?
Now dh is saying maybe he'll drop a day and make the hours up by working 4 longer days?!
This doesn't make sense to me... I'd love him to have the day with ds, but not if he's doing 4 really long days to accommodate it. He is hopeless when he's really tired and if he's going out early and coming back later every night it means I'd be doing almost all the morning and teatime stuff on my own, when trying to get back in the swing of work. I asked him if he'd rather just fully drop 1 day and I work full time, but he said no?? The minimum the nursery would take ds is 1.5 days. I've said maybe he could just change one shift a week to evenings, so he gets a full morning and some of the afternoon with ds, without having to work any more or fewer hours.
Am I missing something here or should we just stick to our original plans and see how it goes??