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For the first time as a parent I feel desperate, unable to cope, guilty and a tiny bit resentful (and therefore more guilty)

27 replies

artichokes · 06/10/2007 14:35

DD is 14 months. Three weeks ago I left her with her Dad for a week while I went away with work. She was fine while I was gone, but since I have been back she totally freaks out when I leave the room and wants to be with me constantly - to the extent she will not even play with her Dad when I am around.

On my return I took a week off to be with her and we had fun but her sleep started to go down hill as she finds it so scary when I put her in the cot. She will go down at bedtime but if she wakes in the night she will not go back down. For the past two night she has been up since 3am.

Last week she went back to nursery and had to move to a new room with new carers. She hates it and screams all day. I see her point - I think her new room is chaotic and badly run. I cannot send her back there but I have to go to work next week.

DD is worried and insecure and exhausted. I am exhausted too - in addition to the lack of sleep she now wants to breast feed all the time (having been on one feed a day).

Next week DH has important exams and I have an important promotion interview. We both need to study but DD will not sleep or amuse herself for one minute. I feel so guilty. I am considering hiring a nanny (who I interviewed today and DD loved) who costs the same amount I earn. I am also considering not going for the promotion - partly because I am too tired and anxious to do the interview justice. I am even considering quitting work. I feel like crying when I look at her little haunted, tired face.

Help me. We are spiralling out of control.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
fizzbuzz · 09/10/2007 21:24

Would she settle with a dummy?Desperate measures here

bobblehead · 10/10/2007 02:25

My dd was EXACTLY the same re the sleep thing at 14 months. I resorted to letting her cry it out by 16 months (total last resoet). It was hell, but the longest she ever cried for was 45mins and that wasn't straight crying, it was interspersed with playing and her saying "I know Iknow I know..." (learning to self comfort I suppose). After 3 nights she was sleeping through for the first time ever. Sorry I have no better suggestions, but I know how it feels to be desperate (I only resorted to letting her cry as I was pregnant and beyond tired..)

Good luck

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