I think my newborn prefers her grandmother over me

[Foodx123]

My baby is 7 weeks old and I feel like whenever she's with me I'm either feeding her or she's sleeping because whenever it's just us two she's moaning and crying. Me and my partner live with his parents so whenever she cries his mum comes in and if I pass her the baby she's instantly settled. I struggle to get her to burp after a feed but when her grandma comes in and does the exact same thing it seems like she can get her to burp and that makes me feel like I'm terrible at looking after her and making sure she's comfortable. I swear all I do is feed her and wake up in the night for her and they get to cuddle her and she's always so well behaved. I try so hard to make her happy but it never seems like she wants me. My partner works nights so when it's just me home alone I can't get anything done because she's constantly wanted to be fed or won't settle unless I walk around the house with her. I cant sit and watch tv or relax because she's not comfortable yet whenever I need space with my partner or we go out she's always so settled with them. I'm scared she'll grow up to prefer her grandmother over not me. I never had a great relationship with my mum and I'd dread to see the same thing happen. It makes me want to move out and have her all to myself. Tell me it's normal to feel this way or am I literally just here to feed her and stay up all night whilst everyone else in the house gets the better side of looking after a newborn. I love her to bits but I feel like she prefers her grandmother for comfort and cuddles and just wants me to feed her :(

All 3 of mine was the same until they hit 4 months and have been permanently attached to me since. It's just granny's have done it before. They know all the tricks.

It's completely normal to feel this way. You are tired, hormonal & in recovery. Take very good care of yourself, take advantage of Granny & know the love you & your daughter share will be unique, intense & will last for the rest of your life. Everyone's mum is their number one... Congratulations. It will all get so much easier x

Does MIL hold her differently? My MIL was always able to settle DS1 because she held him upright against her chest. I took note and as soon as I held him like that he settled for me too.

@Fatted

Does MIL hold her differently? My MIL was always able to settle DS1 because she held him upright against her chest. I took note and as soon as I held him like that he settled for me too.

We hold her exactly the same! Don't know what it is

Granny isn't stressed. She's been there before.

By settled do you mean not crying?

Newborns stop crying and go quite when they are stressed and away from Mum so they don’t get eaten by saber toothed tigers.

Your baby knows your smells from before you were born and you are one she feels safe with.

Have you tried her in a sling?

Are you baby with her grandmother having her so much?

Newborns stop crying and go quite when they are stressed and away from Mum so they don’t get eaten by saber toothed tigers.

Totally agree! Baby isn't settled....Just scared. Believe me she/he knows you are mum...your smell, your skin texture, your breathing pattern.

Definitely try a sling, I loved a soft wrap style from Kari-Me.

Aw I think you're just probably a wee bit hormonal, you're doing all the essential and tough bits and Gran's getting all the lovely bits. I have an 11 week old and I used to think the same, everyone else got the good bits and I got all the hard work but it will change and as the baby gets older you'll get all the smiles and baby will be looking for you all the time! Don't be hard on yourself it's so tough at this time. Give it a couple of weeks and as the wee one starts to develop more you'll start to see a difference promise you! You're doing amazing xxx

You are her entire world at the moment. You are the only thing that really matters. She isn’t properly aware yet that you are separate people.
One day soon you will be able to see what she feels when you pick her up on her face and you will see how much she wants you.

It’s as others have said granny has done it all before and is probably very good at winding babies.
You will always be mum and her number one. This will become much more apparent as she gets older. What your baby will end up with is a great relationship with her parents and her granny as my ds has got because we lived with my parents and I was quite ill after having him so my mum did a lot for him.
Try and take advantage of it by handing her over in the afternoon and then going for a lie down.

I could’ve written this 3-4 weeks in about anybody else that had my little one! My friend used to take her from me for a cuddle and she’d instantly go quiet and look snug whereas she’d cry and cry for me and her dad. I think she could feel the stress I put myself through. I was worrying about anything and everything and in the end I thought ‘sod it’ and just got on with it, stayed at home a bit more and stopped seeing so many people. Your LO loves you and to her you are everything. You’re doing brilliantly, and when she gets to that smiling stage, you’ll forget all the beginning bits! X