My 2 year old doesn’t like me...

[Cusano34]

Please help ☹️

My 2 yes old all of a sudden doesn’t like me! He pushes me away, doesn’t want my help, doesn’t want me to help with his dinner, doesn’t want me to put him to bed and even says “I don’t like mummy”

People keep telling me it’s normal but I haven’t seen any other child do this with their mums 😫

Before the lockdown, it was me and him all the time as my husband works full time (and is a bit boring) so it would always be me taking him out, seeing my family and mainly my friends. But since then, my husband works from home so naturally he’s been at home with his dad. We’ve started to venture out again now to the park etc but he just really doesn’t want me there anymore.

Is this a phase? Has this happened to anyone else, ever? Would really appreciate some advice ☹️ Thanks for reading!

It is most definitely a phase and of course he doesn't not like you, I know its very hurtful when they say things like this though.

It sounds like he is trying to be more independent and sees you helping him do things as getting in the way of that.
I would maybe try and give him jobs to do around the house (age appropriate) and for things that he is wanting to do alone I would step back and talk him through it if he gets stuck and just say that you can help if he needs it.
I'm sure he loves you very much, they don't articulate things very well at that age. Don't let it get to you, this won't be forever.

My son (who is now 6) did this with me when he was 2. I was at home with him all day but all he wanted was Daddy, as soon as my husband came home he wanted him and would shout for Daddy at night when he woke up. It used to upset me so much as I thought he didn't like me but I think he just took me for granted as I was always at home with him.

It was just a phase which lasted about a year and now he shouts for Mummy all the time. I also think he found Daddy more exciting and I had a back injury at the time so I struggled to lift him and put him in a swing and his Dad could run about a lot more with him.

My youngest is the exact opposite and permanently stuck to me and some days refuses his Daddy. I know it seems hard but it will pass and enjoy having a hot drink while they pester their Dad.

totally normal. we have that in reverse - as its DH that gets 'Go away Daddy', 'Daddy for back to the kitchen'...which is totally unfair because we both WFH and equally share the childcare. It's just a phase - probably just learning boundaries and independence.

I also have a friend whose DS prefers the dad to her - also totally unfair. Mine is completely glued to me so i would almost relish being told to go away once in a while. As it is I have to be here all the damn time ;-)

It’s not unusual. I had a wonderful moment with my 3yo that really shocked the lady we were with (pre Covid walk) - I didn’t catch my DD when she slipped in some mud in a field, so muddy water went over the toP of her wellies and onto her socks. Cue vicious look and “I hope you die, so I can get a new mummy”.....

Small kids can say terrible things because they are very much of the moment. They don’t realise how it might make you feel, they just reflect their immediate emotional state. They grow out of it! Of course he loves you, he’s probably just going through a phase of trying to exert some control over his life.

Yup. Toddlers are bonkers. No logic, no ability to grasp the concept of other people having feelings (of pain or discomfort, let alone emotionally). Everything is about them/theirs. Does no harm to try to teach them this stuff (in fact, obviously it's critical that you do), just do it knowing that you'll be saying it on repeat, some of it possibly for YEARS.

It's normal to be driven insane by it sometimes, but remember that it's cognitive development to blame, not your child's personality. Or yours. Your child DOES love you. Keep telling him that you love him, that's the important bit at this stage. I find, if I can manage, being humourous helps me eg:
"I don't like Mummy!"
"Ah that's a shame cos I ADORE you!" In a cheerful voice. Obviously the child doesn't share the humour, but it keeps me going.