Being made to feel bad

[MummaJ32]

Hi. I am a single mother to my three and a half year old son, his father is not involved. I work at a hospital 24 hours a week but two back to back long day 12 hour shifts Friday and Saturday. I rely heavily on my sister for childcare and she has said she will be bringing him back to me Saturday night soon as I’ve finished work he’ll be there asleep.

I give him to my sister Thursday night, I go to bed. I wake up at 4.30am on Friday to get to work for 7am to finish at 8.15pm.
I get home, and do the same again for Saturday.

I then have my son until Thursday again. This is not up for negotiations with her, as she says she has him two days and is knackered and needs a break.
Where is my break? 😥

I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable anymore. Thoughts please?

Sorry but yes, you're are being very unreasonable.
If you cannot afford childcare for the hours you work, then you need to amend your hours or look for another job.
My son is 5 in January and he has stayed overnight somewhere else a total of 4 times and that's it.
My children are my responsibility and I do expect anyone else to look after them.

He's your child??? Not your sisters. You work two days a week.

Does she have children? How often do you look after they for 48 hours at a time?

How do you mange if she goes away, wants a night out or gets ill?

Is this every week? So your sister never gets a Friday or Saturday night herself to relax, go out, generally do what she wants to do? Do you pay her for the current arrangement?

I think if I was her I'd be rethinking things altogether if you complained any more. Your sister doesn't owe you anything, he's YOUR child.

Jesus christ the entitlement on you! Your sister is doing you an impossibly huge favour and you're bitching about it!? If i were her I'd be telling you to look after your own damn kid. She isn't the one who got knocked up, he's not her problem.

You're very lucky. Get your sister some flowers and let her have a break. Offer to pick him up after your shifts. If you need a break through the rest of the week when you're not working out him in nursery for a few hours with your free allotted hours.

Also offer to pay her..

YABU
He’s your son, your responsibility and your sister is doing you a huge favour.

FWIW ^all mothers with DC under school age feel knackered and like it's Groundhog Day. I never got a break, never got an unbroken night's sleep for about 8 years. Never ever had a day off. No one ever looked after my DC. I never had an adult moment to sit quietly with a cup of tea and think my own thoughts until they started primary school. Your sister is a saint. Don't take her for granted.

Move off the wards and into a community team - I swapped 3 12 hour shifts to 5 6 hour shifts and feel so much better!

If you want stay where you are though how about nursery/preschool a couple of days in the week. Think your sister is doing more than enough tbh.

Hi OP. I think some posters have been harsh. I think OP is willing to take on board opinions no need to ram it down her throat.

Do you work day shifts OP? I do shifts and it’s exhausting! I do nights and rely on my child’s father though. Could you look at a different type of work maybe ward clerking Or Doctors assistant in a hospital?

Also does your child’s father pay money for your child? You could use this towards nursery fees.

I think OP is willing to take on board opinions no need to ram it down her throat.

She made one post and never came back. Unlikely.

Reverse?

@AnneLovesGilbert

I think OP is willing to take on board opinions no need to ram it down her throat.

She made one post and never came back. Unlikely.

I’m not bloody surprised!