Husband doesn't have a whole lot of desire to play w/ our 2 yr old

[A0331]

My husband picks and chooses when he plays with our 2 yr old daughter. He's not very consistent. Says he's not going to do imaginative play because it's not his "thing" ...taking her outside on the trampoline and a playground is better for him. When he does take her to the playground he looks miserable or just stands at the top of the slide and waits for her. He's a great dad but just lacks in being involved with doing what she likes to do. I see him sit on the couch or on his phone looking at sports way more than I see him interact with her. She's very attatched to me and I live our relationship. Just wish they can have that daddy daughter relationship I always thought they'd have.

My husband has a different relationship to our son then I do, there is no right or wrong to me just different.

I can't remember interacting too much with my son when he was 2, we did something together like I played with his train set a bit with him or he helped me in the kitchen but no I don't remember too much imaginative play really

The phone use isn’t great nor is looking miserable but if he’s a good dad maybe he’s just got his parenting style and you’ve got yours. Can you suggest more practical stuff for them to do together at home maybe like painting, building Duplo or play-doh? Imaginary play isn’t the be all and end all. Independent play is also important. I personally don’t get involved at all with mine at the playground and just tend leave her to it whilst keeping an eye out in case she’s about to attempt to kill herself. Then obviously I’d step in! Sometimes I even take a book to read.

"He's a great dad" is at odds with everything else in your post. I presume you mean he brings in a wage and provided the sperm that created her. From what you say, in literally no other ways is he a "great dad". You're setting the bar really fucking low. Can you see that?

In what way is he a great dad than OP- he doesn’t have to love imaginative play but he has to find something they can bond over

I'm a brilliant mum and I hate playing. I don't think adults are meant to enjoy it? I, and your DH, have to crack on with it to make the DC happy. Try and get some games that he'd find less boring?

It's ok for you to both bring different things to her play, you don't have to do the same things as each other. He needs to find things he can do. If he doesn't enjoy imaginative play then do building, ball games, digging in the garden, puzzles, stories etc. He has to find his thing but can't not do things with her.

I hate imaginative play. Hated it as a child even. I never did it with my children. There are other ways to interact. Reading, cooking, gardening...pottering. Even just sitting watching tv together.

I was bored stiff playing with mine at that age and the days seemed endless sometimes so I sympathise here. Duplo might be a good idea (he can build it himself on the floor while she watches /helps?) or perhaps bedtime story with something he can relate to? Waterplay at bathtime? He is who he is I'm afraid and he might find it more interesting when she's a bit older.

My DH is like that and while I understand it I also feel it’s unfair as it puts the pressure on me to always be the one playing.

My DH improved as DD grew older and got into things like play mobile and Lego . DD is now 6 and DH does the majority of the 'play' with her whilst I look after DD2 (18 months) and sort dinner etc etc

I think I'm a good mum (the dc seem to be turning out ok) but I absolutely detest playing. I'm an adult, I grew out of that 20years ago, it's so bloody boring. Imo, toys are designed for children to entertain themselves whilst i do important house stuff (washing, cooking, cleaning etc). That doesn't mean I don't interact lots with my dc - we cook together, paint, read stories, talk a lot etc, and I love spending time with them. Just not on the floor having tea parties or creating imaginary worlds. My limit of toys is lego building - I dont mind building little houses.

I think different parents can bring different parenting skills and interests. Dh loves imaginative play with our kids but I don’t really enjoy it at all. I’ll do a few minutes but honestly my heart isn’t in it. I love reading to/with them, exploring, swimming, playing hide and seek, rock climbing, gardening, quite like painting, love playing computer games w them (I’m not a gamer at all). Cannot stand cooking with children, craft projects, or imaginative play tbh. Dh enjoys all of those so we balance each other out. We tend to just focus on the activities we’re good at and enjoy, and we do the bare minimum of those we don’t (ie I’ll play an imaginative game of ds2 really wants me to but it’ll only last about 5 mins whereas with dh it can last an hour; I never ever cooked with them until ds1 was 9 and then it was life skills rather than preschool fun). Honestly, I think a lot of parents look at their phone when their kids are playing and that is fine as long as there are also lots of positive interactions throughout their time together.