How can I get DH to stop with the ranting and swearing?

[CheshireCatsWhiskers]

Self explanatory really. He's a massive drama queen and flies off the handle at the slightest provocation. Then acts like nothing happened an hour or so later.
Our son is 5 months old and I really don't want him growing up surrounded by this kind of shouting and swearing - I don't want him upset by it and I also don't want him to turn out like his father.
I've tried asking DH to stop and he just says yes OK I'll try, but it seems like in the moment he just can't stop himself from reacting that way. I reckon he needs anger management or something but he would never go and seek help as he seems to think it's justified by the situation in each case. He just doesn't seem to want to try.
Any tips from those who have managed to get someone to calm down???

PS he is never threatening or violent.

My husband also did this, got a bit of anger management and now does the STOP technique when he starts feeling the anger. It works quite well.

It does mean your husband will a) need to recognise he has an issue that needs some intervention, and b) he'll need to put some effort into using the technique.

So he is actually ok with his own temper. Its you who doesn't like it.

You can't calm him down, or change him. He's like this and it's really really unlikely he will change since he believes he's justified, surely you knew that when you married him? Did you have premarital counselling?

Its extremely unusual for anyone to change. If they do, it's something they do themselves. It isnt something you can do for them, or teach them/tell them how to do.

You made a huge mistake having a child with someone like this, I strongly suggest you access counselling yourself so that you can learn how to cope and protect your child. If its bad now, it will be exponentially worse as the child grows up.

This comes under the heading of "things you address before you have a child". I assume he's perfectly capable of controlling his temper at work and around others, it's just you who has to live with Mr Explosive?

You say he's not threatening or violent, but I would find shouting on that level quite scary.

I can be a whiny cow sometimes, but yelling, no. The thought of a tiny baby witnessing that is really sad to me. I couldn't stay with a man like that, sorry.

If you're determined to stay with him, the only advice I have is to walk out of the house every time it happens. Go anywhere, a cafe, the park, whatever. Just get your child out of there, because seeing that is totally unhealthy.

My DH is like this, he comes fro a family where it’s the norm. Lots of things about his family are not normal...

We have a new baby, and while it’s hard, I actually find the newborn easier than dealing with him.

I’ve said we’ll be off if he doesn’t sort it out, as I don’t want my son growing up with it. I want a peaceful home.

Tell him very calmly and matter of factly, ideally smirking, that when DS starts saying swear words in social settings, you're going to casually tell friends, teachers etc. That he gets it from his foul mouthed dad. Tell him that you're not taking any responsibility for it and that if he wants to continue, then it's his reputation to protect and nobody else's. I can only imagine how ashamed I'd be if my child was swearing at school or nursery and their dad was telling staff that it's only because mummy does it. I doh t he'd feel proud of himself.

"Tell him very calmly and matter of factly, ideally smirking, that when DS starts saying swear words in social settings, you're going to casually tell friends, teachers etc. That he gets it from his foul mouthed dad. Tell him that you're not taking any responsibility for it and that if he wants to continue, then it's his reputation to protect and nobody else's. I can only imagine how ashamed I'd be if my child was swearing at school or nursery and their dad was telling staff that it's only because mummy does it. I doh t he'd feel proud of himself."

Yeah, that is really not going to work. A man who screams and yells is not going to stop himself because some teachers think his child swears because of him.

My ex was prone to ranting and raving. I made excuses for him till the point the dog hid and pissed on the floor. If it's frightening enough for a dog, then I can't even imagine what impact it would have had on a child under my roof (DC are all adult in their own homes). Mines an ex because he's a cunt that can't control his anger. And amazingly the dog has no bladder issues since I told him to fuck off. You cannot change him, and he clearly has no issues with being a dickhead.