Any co-sleepers actually have babies that sleep?

[Kty8901]

My 7 month old daughter has always been a pretty rubbish sleeper..quite bad during the newborn stage (as is to be expected), followed by a brief period of her doing 7-8 hour stunts around 12 weeks old and then after that she won’t go longer than 2 hours max or sometimes only 40 mins all night.

She’s breastfed and I co-slept full time up until a couple of weeks ago when I moved her into her own room..however we still co-sleep half the night when I bring her in when I can no longer be arsed running across the hallway.

I’m just wondering if the fact I still bring her in is preventing any improvement...because there just hasn’t been any sign of improvement at all in the last 4 months now. I’ve been wanting to do things the natural way and I’m really not a big fan of sleep training (each to their own) but it’s becoming unbearable. I wouldn’t care if we coslept till she was 2 as long as she just slept longer periods!

I feed her to sleep in the night but not for naps or when she goes to bed the first time. I just wondered if the cosleeping makes her wake more..but like I say we haven’t seen any improvement for the first part of the night in her own room. Most days I can just roll with it and waiting for things to get better but some days I just think will this ever end!

Hey @Kty8901 I started co-sleeping with my now 3 year old when he was 3 months old as I could not cope with getting him in and out of his next to me cot. When we moved him into his own room when it was finished he was 8 months. What ensued was the same amount of wake ups regardless. I think co-sleeping was better for him but actually woke me more. I stopped bf at 12 months as I thought night weaning would help but it didn’t. He was just a crap sleeper and still only sleeps through about 50% of the time now. All I would say is if you decide to go with DC in their own room stick to your guns firmly for at least 2 weeks. We didn’t do CIO or any sleep training but had to be prepared to be in his room with him and not cave and bring him into bed. We all do what we need to to get by, but I found once I decided what I felt was acceptable for all of us I was a lot happier. X

Yes!DS1 almost destroyed me. Latched on to boob all night. Frequent wake ups as a baby. It was hell.
Co-slept during my second pregnancy, but was often sleeping 12 hours, from about 14 months.
He’s been a great sleeper ever since.
He’s 6 now and sleeps like a teenager.

Hang in there. I never would have predicted the turnaround we experienced, but we got there. Just went with the flow, didn’t force anything. He had his own bed in his own room which he’d sometimes sleep in, but then come into my bed during the night, Ed gi has was fine. DH went into spare room.

We got them bunk beds age 4 and 2, and I have to beg him to come in for a cuddle now!

*which was fine

Yes. My third slept withe until 5 months, then moved to her own room, or rather that's where she went to sleep and within a few hours I would join her for another 4 months of continuous feeding. And then one day she slept through at about 11 months and has slept 7-7 ever since. She's now 2.

To be honest, better after he was 1 when I usually got a few hours undisturbed then better again about 21 mo when we night weaned

Now, after he's turned 3, I often don't need to get in with him at all but if I do, he then just sleeps (I get elbowed etc)

I co-slept with all 3 of mine. PFB didn't sleep through the night until 13mths. Babies 2&3 were sleeping through by six months and gradually moved to cots in nursery.

My conclusion is that all babies are different but also that there were a few differences in my approach:

A little bit of (mild) sleep training after 6 months won't hurt the baby, but will pay dividends for your overall health and general sanity.

Also, doing a combo of breast and formula after six months also helped with 2&3.

Yep! We now cosleep (9 months) and have done since around 6 months when he got too big for his cosleeper crib. Tbh it feels natural to us and I know is normal in lots of cultures. It makes sense that he needs to be close by, especially when bf-ing. It does seem a bit silly to put them in their own room and constantly be traipsing in and out their room all night, just because it's the done thing. You'd never do it in them in the day! Each to their own though. I know it's not for everyone.
But anyway we put him to bed in our bed right in the middle (no duvet) and baby video monitor right on him. We also have his old cosleeper crib still on the side just in case he does move over to the side before we get upstairs and falls out. We come to bed a bit later and I move him over so he's on my side and sleep in the way lullaby trust recommends. He wakes up maybe once or twice in the night to shuffle around, breastfeed a bit. But I don't get up at all. It's amazing! We sleep so much better.

Once I opened up to people I realised it was really common. Just follow the safety guidelines.

Also I think it's the American paediatric society which recommends having them in your room until a year anyway to decrease sids risk, so 7 months is still really young!

I've spoken to people with older babies and tbh the main thing seems to be keeping them happy and feeling safe and they end up sleeping well regardless. Time will tell!

Thanks for the replies this is definitely a relief to hear! I actually love co-sleeping in terms of the bonding, cuddles and ease of dealing with the night wakings but on the particularly bad nights of 40 min wakings it’s been feeling a bit brutal!

My husband was previously on the same page as me but it’s beginning to wear him down as he’s a very light sleeper and working full time. I’d prefer to try and roll with it a little longer but have lots of ‘rod for your own back’ comments from my mum and MIL!

My (now) 1 year was still sleeping like shite at 7/8 months.
She now goes to sleep in her own room, waking up sometime between 10-12 (her dad goes to get her and she generally goes back to sleep in our bed without being fed so I sleep through it) she then wakes for a feed at around 5am then wakes sometime between 7-8.

So it’s not prefect but it’s only 1, or maybe 2, feeds a night. I feel as though she’s a very emotionally well adjusted little person and of course that might have nothing at all to do with cosleeping, but I’m happy with the decisions we’ve made.

I felt like I was doing it wrong, speaking to friends who had babies in cots and other rooms, while mine was attached to me 24/7.
But it worked for us. When DS2 was born, I spent his first night on earth teaching him to breastfeed while I was lying down. Wasted too long sitting up to feed with ds1 in the middle of the night. I embraced it second time round. Didn’t second guess myself or worry about what anyone else was or wasn’t doing.
DH was fully on board, he’s from a different country where there isn’t even a word for co- sleeping, it’s just the norm.
When night weaning, I went in the spare room and DH slept with the babies, giving a bottle at night.
I think setting up the spare bed really helped us get through the cosleeping years. Is that an option You and your DH would consider?

Yeah we have been using the spare room infrequently but I might suggest we just spend the early evening together then sleep separately when I bring our daughter in.

The culture / country you’re born into have such an influence dont they! I’ve been reading about how this is the norm for much of the rest of the world...but the uk seems to have an aversion to breastfeeding and places great important on making tiny babies sleep alone! Any other approach is made to feel like a failure.

I was thinking the same thing actually about when we have another child..that I would feed laying down and cosleep from the start. I faffed about the first few weeks and wondered why my newborn would only sleep on me because it wasn’t ‘normal’!