Ten year old dd driving me insane

[ghostmous3]

Shes very hard going.

She wont do anything. Wont read, it's boring, wont colour or draw or play with toys at all now, expects constant attention, will not go sleep until the early hours, has awful tantrums which involves screaming and back chat and kicking doors. Weve tried walking (moans from start to finish) evenngoing out in the car she moans and starts fights with her sisters
Shes does everything to disrupt things, her attention span is very short and she does have anxiety and hates change.
Her elder sister and brother whi are adults now both have adhd and asd and I do wonder if she is the same. Her 13 year old sister is NT

I am at a loss and its causing so much tension. School have previously said she us fantastic clever girl in school and will not believe us when whe we tell them about her difficulties at home

Shes been like this since the age of 2

Both her sister and brother could entertain themselves it's worth pointing out and her sister especially has very precise interests ie reading animals and drawing. I dont expect her to do the same but she really doesn't want to try anything

Anyone at all please

Her elder sister and brother whi are adults now both have adhd and asd and I do wonder if she is the same.

I think you should have her investigated for the same. So many autistic girls mask at school.

What are her social skills like? Does she have friends?

She argues with friends all the time. She doesn't seem to be able to say no either and doesn't seem to have any boundaries when it comes to friends treating her badly.

She argues with friends all the time. - Just like she argues at home

She doesn't seem to be able to say no either - Just like she can do as she likes at home and no one says no/or she doesn't listen to no/it has no impact

and doesn't seem to have any boundaries when it comes to friends treating her badly - Just like she is treating her family at home, which is normal in her world

I just wanted to point out those things as sometimes it is difficult to see things when you are in the thick of it and life is a daily battle.

She isn't your first child, so there is obviously a difference with her since she will be getting the same upbringing as your other children and I would definitely speak to a doctor about it.

I would normally discuss being firm and setting boundaries etc, but my sisters daughter has autism. It was alien to me that every time she had a meltdown she would be comforted instead of told off and when she was being irrational, instead of being firm my sister would bargain with her. She now has a beautiful, caring, well behaved daughter, who I haven't seen have a meltdown in years.

She sounds very much like my 9 years who is diagnosed ASD (high functioning) ? Is that an avenue you have considered?

Oh sorry, just seen that it is something you have considered.