You are not the only one like this, in fact most people feel exactly the same way. However young children don't understand enough to make good decisions and it is your job to make them for them.
He doesn't understand why he needs sleep and is more interested in what is important to him. Which is learning through play, getting out of bed so he can play and getting your attention so he can have someone to play with.
Children are incredibly quick learners, so if he gets out of bed and isn't told off and put back he has just learnt that he can choose to be in bed or out of bed. He will of course choose to be out of bed because that is more fun, worse still he will apply what he has learnt in future. When he has told to do something else he will remember that he can choose to do what he wants.
It is not that your husband has a magic touch, but your son is smart enough to know already that he can do what he wants when you tell him but not your husband, because he has been more consistent with rules.
The reason you feel like you do comes from a place of love, but doing the right thing for your child even if it upsets them is showing them more love, because it is the harder choice, but the right one.
I probably sound very insensitive and overly strict, but our children get all the praise, love and fun I can possibly give them, just with a few rules.