Extreme Phobia

[csigeek]

My 11yo DSD has developed an extreme phobia of spiders. She has always been mildly scared of them, more disliked but not hugely bothered, but over the last 6 months she has become absolutely terrified to the point she is shaking and crying even at the thought of one.
We have just had to talk her down from a massive melt down because she knows there is a spider in the living room but we don't know where and she is convinced it's going to make its way upstairs and into her room.
She can't tell us why she's so afraid, what it is she is actually afraid the spider will do etc just that she is scared of the spider.
We have no idea how to tackle this and try and reassure her that spiders won't hurt her and it seems to be getting worse and worse. She has commented that her mum keeps telling her to "toughen up" and "get over it", which (if true) clearly isn't helping and is making it worse because she now feels like not only is she afraid of spiders, she's afraid of being afraid and then being told off.
How on earth do we help her?

Hello, can fully sympathise with your DSD. I've always been terrified of spiders, it's the actual anxiety surrounding it that makes it ten times worse and how I make it more scary than it needs to be. Sorry I know this isn't helpful at all but just wanted to say that it's a very common phobia. Your DSD is not alone. Try to distract her with different things perhaps ,divert her attention? Telling her off isn't going to help and will increase her anxiety. I can understand how it's frustrating for you though!