How to discipline my nearly 2-year old

[toomuchpeppapig]

My oldest DS will be 2 in October and his behaviour already seems to be changing for the worse. I have another DS who is 12 months younger and my eldest will lay on him and try to squash him, push him over, kick at him etc. He does all of this while laughing and it doesn't seem to matter what I do, he can't just seem to grasp that he needs to stop it. (Probably not helped by the fact that the little one will quite often be laughing). He'll either laugh at me when I tell him off or have a tantrum, but then do the exact same thing a minute later. It is so tiresome and frustrating. I'm sick of telling him to be gentle, use kind hands, be nice to his brother etc. Also sick of pulling him away to distract him and then having to do the same thing 30 seconds later and on... and on...

Have a similar problem with him doing the same to my dogs. Once he gets the idea in his head then he just won't leave the poor things alone. I've tried allowing him to stroke them gently to teach him how to touch them and hope he'll get bored - doesn't work. Tried telling him not to - laughs at me. Explained that he might hurt them or they don't like it etc - no change. Moving him away to do something else - he goes back to annoy the dog(s). Raising my voice - laughs. I end up having to send the dogs out into the conservatory even though they've done nothing wrong (although if they had half a brain they'd just go away of their own accord until he's stopped trying to annoy them, but that's a different issue)!

Does anybody have any suggestions please? We've been up since 5.30 today and by 6 o'clock I just wanted to scream and leave the house because I've spent the last 30 minutes trying to keep him off his brother or one of the dogs. It's torturous, it really is.

Thanks for any advice you can offer.

You have to be a little bit careful, as giving children attention of any kind is a positive for them. Whilst I appreciate you are distracting him to stop him doing it, it is a temporary fix that is actually telling him that when you do something naughty mum will reward you by playing a game / giving you attention.

The tactic we use is the naughty step, just simply sit them on the first stair in the house as children hate boredom. When they are naughty tell them it's wrong and then place them on the naughty step. Do not engage them in anyway other than to put them back on the naughty step if they get off, then after around 5 minutes explain to them what happened and ask if they are going to be good now.

It is a battle at first but eventually you have a weel behaved child that isn't any bother at all and both of you are happier as a result.

Whoever he is laying on calmly lift him then give the dog/baby lots of attention. As soon as he touches them in the correct way make a big thing like wow they really like that you're being so soft look how happy it makes them. Good luck it's really tough. Sometimes it's also just an age and time thing!

It's entirely normal for kids to play fight including hit and kick each other.

I've seen it between brothers, sisters and brothers, and sisters I've looked after. My own toddler does it with her half-sibling and she is the one who initiates it.

It tends to stop happening when one of them is too strong for the other. So with two of my nephews it stopped when the eldest reached puberty, while with my nephew and niece it stopped when my nephew realised at about 7 he was much physically stronger. They then resorted to psychological fighting.

Your job is to step in when one of them causes the other to start crying or they both cause something in the room to be broken/knocked over, otherwise just ignore it if they aren't causing too much noise. (The best way to stop it for a few hours is take them out to do something physical.)

All the dogs and cats my toddler interacts with back away from her and have an escape route/hiding place. I know some children don't get that hint that the animal wants to be left alone when the animal uses their escape route/hiding place, so the animal gives them a warning bite or swipe that doesn't hurt the child but shocks them.

Also might just be a case of keeping them separate with gates etc and wearing baby for a bit to give you a break!

The naughty step is not to be used for children under 3 - www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Parenting-Skills/-/Discipline-and-Reward/The-Naughty-Step-~-what-is-it-and-how-does-it-work.aspx

In regards to the advice to use baby gates they are only recommended until a child is 2. Even then some kids can climb over them from much earlier than that. If your eldest is physical then it is very likely he can already climb over baby and dog gates. The only physical barrier you can then use is actual doors if the handles are high enough so he can't open them.