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Original poster

Late/slow risers - how difficult was it getting used to a new sleep routine?

29 replies

AfterBathingAtBaxters · 27/08/2020 14:54

Hi, I have a question for those of you who tend to rise late/slow in the morning.

We're planning on having a baby soon and one of the things I always worried about is the change in sleep routine (not just right after birth but long-term). I know people say you get used to it but I do really love a lie in. Well, 'need' a lie in might be more accurate - I just don't get up early easily, and never have. On the flip side I have lots of energy in the evening.

It might be low blood pressure or just how my body works, but when the alarm goes off, I always take a while to get out of bed. It's worked for most of my life as I just set my alarm to fit around that extra time in the morning but I know that a baby won't wait until I'm ready.

How have you coped with that? Is the change in sleep routine as bad as I worry it might be?

OP posts:
stretcherella · 27/08/2020 15:04

Not necessarily, as not all babies are early risers. You get used to the sudden wake ups very quickly though. You get used to falling asleep very quickly too! Your body just adapts. What you feel you "need" right now will change.

Footlooseandfancy · 27/08/2020 15:09

I found that you just don't sleep as deeply and it's a bit like when you hear a smoke alarm go off - you automatically get up! I'm a reformed multiple alarm setter now.

I split the weekends with my OH so we each get a lie in which is great.

Caspianberg · 27/08/2020 15:30

Our baby is often awake early, so we are awake, but we don’t need to get up and going super speedy. He’s happy to wake and have first feed in our bed then chill out on the bed with us a good while.

Ie this morning he woke early at 6.30am. Dh changed his nappy and made us both tea in bed. I fed baby 20 mins. Then he just kinda laid around in the middle playing with his hands, laughing at us talking to him etc. Dh and I took turns to shower and get ready. We only went downstairs for breakfast around 8.30am, so 2 hrs after baby woke ( baby then fed again and took a nap)

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Sayitagainwhydontyou · 27/08/2020 15:33

I think you just need to accept that it's going to be a struggle. I had a baby who woke screaming at 5am every day, it was not particularly fun but you just have to get on with it.

user1493413286 · 27/08/2020 15:36

I was like you; I used to have 10-15 minutes in bed after waking up and at weekends I’d always sleep in unless I had to get up. I have just got used to it though; unless my babies have immediately needded a feed I’ll normally bring them into bed with me (still do with my toddler) so that I can wake up a bit before actually getting up. DH and i take turns with the lie ins and that’s fine so I do still get them.

Applesandpears23 · 27/08/2020 15:42

Breastfeed and co sleep then you can lie in bed. When they get a bit bigger test to see if you keep them up late will they sleep in late? Mine will sleep until after 8.

firstimemamma · 27/08/2020 15:47

As other posters have said, what u need changes! You'll become happy with less.

My toddler woke up at 6:30 instead of 5:30 the other morning and I'm not joking when I say I naturally woke up at 5:30 then spent the hour basically chilling in bed waiting for my master! Just couldn't get back to sleep and felt ready to go (the pre-child me was very different to this!).

Another thing worth having in mind - there is no routine initially, just a relentless slog of broken sleep. It does get easier and better though as they get older. My 2 year old sleeps from 7:30 through to 5:30 almost every night and I'm more than happy with that (it's not the same as the 7-7 he did age 12-18 months but I've made peace with that now!) Smile

Original poster
AfterBathingAtBaxters · 27/08/2020 16:32

Those are very positive responses, thanks!

You're probably right in that I will adapt and not all babies are the same, so there may be some adjustment over time. I like the idea of taking turns in weekend lie-ins, that will be definitely considered :)

Really interesting to read how your routines work, really shows how different it can be for everyone!

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Original poster
AfterBathingAtBaxters · 27/08/2020 16:34

@Caspianberg

Our baby is often awake early, so we are awake, but we don’t need to get up and going super speedy. He’s happy to wake and have first feed in our bed then chill out on the bed with us a good while.

Ie this morning he woke early at 6.30am. Dh changed his nappy and made us both tea in bed. I fed baby 20 mins. Then he just kinda laid around in the middle playing with his hands, laughing at us talking to him etc. Dh and I took turns to shower and get ready. We only went downstairs for breakfast around 8.30am, so 2 hrs after baby woke ( baby then fed again and took a nap)

That sounds like such a lovely start to the day - family bliss :)
OP posts:
jessstan2 · 27/08/2020 16:36

I never had to change much except of course in the early days with demand feeding but I slept when my baby slept. As he grew a bit he didn't like to get up early. We co slept.

When I returned to work, part time, obviously we all had to be up at a reasonable hour on my work days. On the other days we had a lie in :-).

addictedtotheflats · 27/08/2020 16:36

I was a serial napper and didnt get out of bed til after 10 am pre child. Its tough not going to lie but it's true that you get used to it. I still nap when baby does now at 16 months (i live for those 2 hours) and taking it in turn with my DP for alone time or a quick hour in bed. I also co slept until 10 months as I breastfed which was a life saver (and imo a great motivator to bf if you can 😂)

RubaiyatOfAnyone · 27/08/2020 16:42

My DH is like you and fair to say he never has adapted 2 babies later. i do the night Wakings and early mornings mostly because i am BF but also because i suffer less than him doing it. but to be fair to him when he is needed early (Eg if i’m exhausted or ill) he just gets on with it and has a nap later because he knows a baby doesn’t wait for you to feel good about its timetable.

You do what is necessary, even if it feels rubbish, and every few months the baby’s routine changes and it all gets a bit better.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 27/08/2020 16:47

Tbh for the baby stage it doesn’t matter as they have no concept of time- but everyone I know who is like yourself has had a toddler up until 9/10pm so they sleep until 8/9am- that doesn’t work come school. A lot of people I know are facing a battle to change that. I personally don’t mind an early morning, I will not have a toddler awake during my evening.

VirginiaWolverine · 27/08/2020 16:55

I breastfed and coslept, so although I didn't get much sleep, I was awake but curled up in bed with a warn snuggly baby, and only had to get out of bed for nappy changes. Also, having a baby does weird biological things to how you sleep - I would wake up, alert, shortly before my baby did, and I'm not sure how that worked.

VirginiaWolverine · 27/08/2020 16:59

Having said that, I had years of severe sleep deprivation and it was horrible snd I felt sick all the time and put on huge amounts of weight because I ate all the sugar just to keep going and I never want to go through that again. But I coped and they eventually let me sleep again. I still fall asleep on the sofa at 8pm, though - I'll probably never catch up on the sleep backlog.

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 28/08/2020 03:06

I was worried about this but something happens where you just can manage. Your little person needs you. I used to be a solid 9 hrs sleeper minimum otherwise I was awful. Now 4 unbroken or 6 broken is more than enough. I also share lots with DH so Friday and Saturday DH does the nights/morning so I get lie in

Ruthietuthie · 28/08/2020 03:33

Like VirginaWolverine above, I have felt physically sick every day since my son was born nearly three years ago. I need more sleep. Co-sleeping helped when he was still nursing, but it is still tough. What you need is a partner who is truly on-board, so that they can take the baby for a bit and let you sleep (after the morning feed). My husband never really managed this, sad to say. I am TIRED.

toomuchpeppapig · 28/08/2020 06:43

You'll never sleep properly again. If you love your sleep that much then I'd highly suggest you don't have a baby.

I haven't slept through the night since I was pregnant with my first child 2.5 years ago, and never get to stay in bed past 6.30am, though he had me up at 4.30 today but I managed to stay in bed awake until 5.30 when he really started kicking off to get out of his cot and go downstairs.

I have to go to sleep before 9 (but quite often at 8) at night in order to get any decent rest at all. And bear in mind that I have a DP who more than pulls his weight and he also goes to sleep early and shares the night feeds of our youngest DS. I can only imagine how much worse it would be if I had one of those men that you read about on here all the time that are useless.

IME you'll need to make your peace with decent sleep being a distant memory. Sorry for the bad news.

michellejj · 28/08/2020 09:15

I am still in bed with my baby (past 9am now). However, she was awake for more than an hour at 4am and also for shorter intervals multiple times last night.
I think my first baby didn't sleep till this late but I was so deprived that I hardly remember anything.

Crylittlesister · 28/08/2020 09:28

I never adapted. I find it strange that people assume everyone just does, I just couldn't. I struggled with a newborn as I slept through crying and then h had to wake me. I did not get used to the sleep deprivation at all (and I was a huge clubber/party girl in my teens and 20s!)
However, you suck it up because you love them and once they become older it gets a lot easier as either they can be left alone in the morning or they sleep in a bit more.

Abouttimemum · 28/08/2020 13:58

I would lie in bed till 12 on a weekend, hit snooze all the time on my alarm, DH and I would just laze around in bed on a morning.
I do miss it tbh. But we went away for DH birthday (pre covid) and we were both awake watching tv by 7 as we were that used to it.
Plus we go to bed before 10 now so that’s plenty of sleep.(I prefer to have our evenings together) We just fell into an earlier pattern.

DS is 17 months now and wakes up at 5 some days (bah) but the rule is we don’t get him up till 6.30. One of us makes the brews and then we chill in bed with DS (watching cartoons) for half an hour while we wake up properly.
It’s just different that’s all.

Original poster
AfterBathingAtBaxters · 29/08/2020 11:38

@Whatelsecouldibecalled

I was worried about this but something happens where you just can manage. Your little person needs you. I used to be a solid 9 hrs sleeper minimum otherwise I was awful. Now 4 unbroken or 6 broken is more than enough. I also share lots with DH so Friday and Saturday DH does the nights/morning so I get lie in
That's encouraging to read, and I like the idea of taking turns in having a lie in when you need it. Luckily my partner is a morning person and doesn't have that problem.
OP posts:
Original poster
AfterBathingAtBaxters · 29/08/2020 11:43

It looks like you all have very different experiences, it's very interesting to read. I suppose I won't really know until I have a child myself, and can only cross my fingers that it won't be too bad.

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Feminist10101 · 29/08/2020 11:53

I was/am an extreme night owl as a baby and luckily so was/is my DD. She slept midnight till noon. Meant she slept through most of the baby classes (because they’re always in the bloody morning) but I guess they weren’t strictly for her benefit. Wink

She started school age 3.5 and wasn’t asleep until gone 10pm the night before. But within a week she had adjusted without any stress to be able to wake up at 8am ready for school at 9am. The 11:45am lunchtime was a complete disaster though and I’d have to give her a lunch box for after school, which is when she would naturally prefer to eat.

She was an exceptionally sociable baby (after noon) and we were able to go to restaurants and to visit friends of an evening with no fuss. She’s now 10, very lovely, still prefers to be up late and sleep in. She’s in theatre shows a few times a year that don’t finish until gone 10pm so being early to bed would have limited a lot for her.

It works for us. Smile

Cahe · 29/08/2020 12:31

I HATE early mornings I always knew I’d struggle, but you just have to do it It’s the sacrifice you make for having a baby. Mine went through months of 430-5am wake ups and I REALLY struggled I was so tired and could barely function. But he’s 15 months now & for the past two weeks has been sleeping In till 9-10am ! It’s been amazing and reminded me how great sleep feels if only it would stay this way 😂 i find I never sleep through since I’ve had him and because of all the night wakes when he was newborn my body has changed. My partner also used to let me have a lie in on his days off once a week, when baby was doing the early mornings. You can just take it in turns with the lie ins and also breastfeeding gets you more time to wake up as you can feed lying down in the bed x