Just that really. I am a first time mum. I love my little girl, she's great. I want her to have everything she needs and I do my best to give her that. She is six months old and although not a great sleeper she is healthy, happy and very sociable. I'm confident we have a good bond. Sometimes we have fun, or she does something that makes me happy. But most of the time I find parenting her to be drudgery, stressful and generally not a nice time.
My husband thinks she's the best thing in the world ever, but I can't summon up that strength of feeling for her. My life is undoubtedly worse now compared to before having a child.
Before having a child I definitely counted on a strong maternal love appearing that would see me through the boring days and the difficult nights, but I don't feel that so strongly.
I did have a bit of PND after she was born but I while I feel a lot better now, I basically feel like I'm grinning and bearing about 99% of my day right now and it's just not what I expected from being a mum. I thought I'd enjoy all this time with my child. Was I overly optimistic? Is this normal?