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At wits end with fussy eating

9 replies

anotheranxiousmum · 26/08/2020 14:25

Help!! What do I do with fussy eaters? My 5 year old is so fussy it is driving me insane. I’ve always avoided force feeding or pushing to finish plate etc but it doesn’t seem to work and she’s just getting worse.

She won’t try any veg except for carrots and cucumbers.

She won’t eat any tomato sauce so most foods we eat are our of the question, pastas, bakes, lasagnes etc etc

She won’t eat anything she doesn’t know so when we go to friends or family for dinner she kicks up a fuss and it’s so embarrassing.

What can I do? I was force fed when I was growing up so I’m adamant not to do that to my kids but not sure what else to do. She can’t keep eating plain pasta and tuna forever.

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anotheranxiousmum · 26/08/2020 14:27

Also to add, I do try to cook the handful of things she does like but it becomes very limiting diet and she doesn’t end up getting enough exposure to “non comfort foods” which might be adding to the problem

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Ricekrispie22 · 26/08/2020 16:27

Even if she doesn’t accept the food the first time you serve it for dinner, she might the next time. Apparently it can take up to 10-15 tastes of a new food to used to it, so it’s worth persevering to widen the range of things she will happily eat.

Serve small portions. She might be overwhelmed by a large portion of a food that’s unfamiliar or not her favourite. Also you’ll waste less food.

Many children will use food refusal as a way to get your attention or a reaction. If she’s not underweight, eating at least some foods from each of the groups, then you shouldn’t worry too much. If she sees you get agitated, or if you try to force her to eat, this could make the situation worse. Also, try not to worry about her making a mess!

Give your DD a recipe book and together stick post it notes on the pages of the things she’d like to try. Then, when you make something that she’s expressed an interest in, show her the book to remind her that she chose it. I did the choosing from the recipe book thing with my Dc and they chose stuff like tuna burgers, sweetcorn fritters, enchiladas etc...

Also take her shopping and let her choose out the fruit and veg. One success I've had is with broccoli. My son wouldn't touch it with a barge pole until I got him to pick the one he wanted at the supermarket. Then we came home and he washed it and broke it into pieces and popped it into a saucepan. He made a lot of mess and water went everywhere, but he also had great fun and has eaten broccoli ever since. I also found that when they cooked it they'd try something more adventurous. Even quite small children can help in some way.

Use exciting names for foods e.g. we call chicken in sauce 'sticky chicken' or soup 'surprise soup' or green beans 'squeaky beans' (can you hear them?) and ham up the name ... Playing with food doesn't have to be a bad thing. A child is more likely to eat a food that’s colourful, cut into fun shapes or with a dip. My children eat things that they wouldn’t normally eat if it’s on a skewer! We also had a cheese fondue at New Year and they were dipping things that they’d normally turn their nose up at. We also used to pretend we're dinosaurs eating trees when we eat broccoli – adds a bit of fun to the meal!

We've explained about vitamins and minerals and how they help your body grow and stay healthy. My DD will now eat mushrooms because she is desperate to be a big girl. And DS will flex his muscles when he's eaten a lot of veg!

A child needs to be somewhat hungry to enjoy their meal, so try offering only water or diluted juice for drinks and snacks of fresh fruit or veg between meals.

When mealtimes are becoming a misery or a battle ground then change the scene. Have tea in a tent or at a small table on tiny chairs with teddies attending.

Take a basic food that she loves e.g. bread, and add new things to it bit by bit – so try bread and cheese then eggy bread, then eggs and soldiers.
Introduce a new food very gradually alongside a food she already eats, and don’t rush from one food or texture to the next. I used fish cakes to gradually get my DS to eat fish. First I started with about 90% potato and only 10% fish! I gradually increased the proportion of fish to potato and I don't think he noticed. I also got him eating eggs by starting with savoury pancakes and gradually turning them into omelettes! I also did fried rice with only a tiny bit of egg in at first and slowly increased the egg. He now is fine with scrambled egg on toast and omelettes, and I've started doing quiches, but he still won't touch boiled, poached or fried.
We moved from chicken nuggets to nuggets with less breading to pieces of a grilled chicken breast and eventually to chicken with noodles or rice.

Alicatz66 · 26/08/2020 16:31

My daughter did this .... I thought she would never eat ... I used to worry all the time .. one day all she would have was dry fruit bread cut in bits !!! My friend thought I was going to feed the birds !!! .... they really do grow out of it so don't worry .. she's 23 now and loves all fruit and vegetables... !! Grin

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RosieBdy · 26/08/2020 16:41

RiceKrispie22 has given you some great ideas... and I don't have loads to add but I just wanted to say it does get better! My DS was very fussy but he now eats most things at 14 (I know that's a long way of but he got better gradually over that time, not suddenly in the last year!)
He hated pasta with any sauce but we still had it - I just dished him up plain pasta, covered it with a plate to keep warm, and then went on to add the sauces to ours, plus plonking just a tiny bit of ours on to his plate too. Lots of foods are easy enough to do that (maybe not lasagna!).
We just kept offering him small bits of new things (as PP said it can take many tries of each food before they will accept it) alongside things we knew he liked and tried not to stress about it too much (sometimes easier said than done!)
Good luck.

thehairyhog · 26/08/2020 19:24

The things she likes sound fine and balanced. Pasta, tuna, carrots and cucumbers. Make them available at mealtimes whilst serving whatever else you would gave served for the family. Let her choose. She'll get there. And if she doesn't, her choices are perfectly healthy.

Hoohaahoo · 26/08/2020 19:27

Just keep gently introducing new food. Encourage her to try a taste of new food with no pressure to eat it.

I was very fussy when I was younger, couldn’t have anything touching, ate about 5 different items. You wouldn’t know it now, there’s not much I won’t eat!

womanaf · 26/08/2020 19:30

I kept serving the same few acceptable dishes over and over til they asked to be allowed to eat ‘adult food’.

Aquamarine1029 · 26/08/2020 19:35

She won’t eat anything she doesn’t know so when we go to friends or family for dinner she kicks up a fuss and it’s so embarrassing.

You need to nip that behaviour in the bud immediately. At 5, she should be taught self-control and that having a tantrum whilst in other people's homes is not acceptable. It's ok to be disappointed, but kicking up a fuss? No way. There needs to be consequences for that kind of behaviour.

5amonSunday · 26/08/2020 19:35

Picky eaters all turn out fine on the end, you'd be amazed.

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