Pocket money - when to start, what to do first

[crazychemist]

DD will be 4 in September. MIL is staying with us at the moment, and thinks it’s really important that we start pocket money at DD’s birthday. This wasn’t something I’d thought about at all, but she seemed pretty horrified that we weren’t preparing for it. She gave her £2 for this week as pocket money, and was absolutely horrified that my DD didn’t know which coins were worth what.....

Is it important to start pocket money soon? Should I be teaching DD more about money first? MIL insists that by the age of 4 My DH knew all the coins and could work out what change he should get when he bought something... (not sure I really believe this, but I could be underestimating what a 4 year old can do).

If you do teach about money, what do you do? The only thing that is coming to my mind is playing shop at home with real coins, but at the same time I don’t really like the idea of encouraging DD to play with real money. Am I being silly?

Considering they don't teach money until yr1/2 (or did when I was younger) I don't think she should know what money is.

Most kids can't read or do more than very basic maths at 3/4.

I think she's got rose tinted glasses on

I think around age 6. Not much point at not yet 4 when she can't yet count.

We started ds off at around 3 by giving him money in a little purse when we were on a day out so he could physically see the money coming out to go on those stupid rides and show him he had enough for a ride with Postman Pat or an icecream now, and which did he want.
Then at 4 it would cover something in the gift shop, and we slowly increased the times he'd have money. It worked out well, and reduced the pestering considerably when he had the power at a fete or whatever to decide what to spend money on (or not). Of course as he was always with an adult we knew how much he had, and spent a lot of time helping him count it out

Opened this expecting a 10/11 year old!

We didn't start pocket money until child starts 'playing out' and so can go and spend their own money at the shop when on own. This was around school year 5 or 6 with my eldest, certainly by the time they are at secondary school. We teamed pocket money introduction with a child-specific household task, a job for which pocket money was earnt.

Before then the child can handle money - so if buying something that is for the child then give the child the money and let then do the checkout themselves.

At 4 years old - can your child count to 100?
Does she recognise the numbers when written down?
Does she associate amount with number (so link the fact there are four sweets with the written number 4 and the phonetic sound for four?
Does she understand the concept of 100 pennies equals 1 pound?
Can she add and substract basic numbers? (number bonds)
Can she add and subtract complex larger numbers?

Until you've got all these in place, you cannot expect the child to understand the value of money in any real sense. And if your 4yo can do all of the above, they are brighter than most children I know.

I wouldn't give pocket money at this age. But no reason the child cannot have a pound or two to spend at the shop (if she behaves!) while you're out shopping each week. Then encourage choosing and either/or - you can either have a magazine, a toy or sweets - choose one.

@CorianderLord she is a little prone to rose-tinted glasses! I have been getting a long list of things I could improve . Most of it I just let dill over me, but I wondered if I was missing a trick on this one, I just hadn’t thought about pocket money yet.

@FATEdestiny she can count to 100 and recognises these numbers, and connects these to how many objects there are, but I wouldn’t expect her to reliably count, say, 25 objects without missing some or counting some twice. Definitely doesn’t have a good mental picture of what 100 objects would look like, or that 100p =£1, nor can she do any subtraction that can’t be done on fingers. I think she’s pretty typical, but MIL seemed to think she was behind and as I haven’t really been seeing other kids I wondered if maybe this was something she should be better at by now. I think her “maths” (if you can call it that at this age) is pretty typical.

My DH normally lets her go into the bakery to choose something and gives her a pound coin (it’s local and we know them well, and he stands just outside the door and watches). I thought this was as much as I’d expect at her age, but MIL thinks this isn’t enough autonomy.

Consensus seems to be that it’s ok to wait till she’s a year or two older.

@CMOTDibbler sounds like a good strategy. Alas, not many places to take her at the moment!

At four years old, I wouldn't be giving pocket money just yet. Perhaps start by playing 'shops' with a till, play money and play packets and tins. That will give her the idea that we pay for things, and you can help her to find the right coins. She won't be capable yet of working out change, but will get the idea that some coins are worth more than others, which is a great start to handling money.

Dd is in reception, moving to year 1 next. Month, and they set some work about starting to recognise coins at the end of the academic year. This was seen as relatively high end stuff I think. Dd is exceeding in all areas and found it tricky, so definitely more expected for year 1 and 2 rather than a pre school skill

@Zany15 that’s a good idea. She loves role play and would love to play shop. I’d feel much more comfortAble with that than giving her money knowing that she doesn’t yet have a good understanding of it,

@Findahouse21 that’s helpful information. I did think that MIL might be having rose tinted glasses and mis-remembering, she is rather prone to that. She idolises my DH, he really means the world to her but I don’t think she remembers all the details correctly! It’s nice to have an idea of when these things are usually taught, I feel so disconnected from what is “normal” for DDs age without seeing other children or getting any ideas from her preschool. It’s helpful to get some perspective on what is age-typical