Fruit and veg refusal, 16 month old.

[Imacompleteidiot]

16 month old DD, going through the usual stage of realising what healthy and unhealthy food is lol. Up until a year old i was very strict with what she ate and wasn't allowing any sugary/salty foods, since she has been a year old ive been slightly more relaxed and she's had ice creams, chips at the beach a few times as a treat etc. And now she is fully aware that she would prefer a packet of crisps over her usual favourite of a bowl of raspberries.
She has had all 4 first molars come through in the last month and went off her food as she usually does when teething but now she has gone really picky with food, i am offering the same as i usually did but she just picks out what she wants to eat from the plate and leaves the rest (mostly the fruit or veg) i honestly cannot remember the last time she ate a piece of whole fruit.
My older DS went through a similar stage and became a lifelong picky eater, i think partly because i didnt handle it well.
So please advice on what i should do? Just continue to offer the veg/fruit and leave her to it? She only feeds herself and wont let me so i cannot intervene and try to get her to eat any of it. She gets no regular puddings/snacks as she has a small appetite as it is and i dont want to start an association with getting dessert regularly after a meal as i did that with my DS and it backfired terribly.
Any tips?

Continue to offer it on a plate with everything else and don't make it a fuss when its ignored. My 15 month old is currently eating nothing at all most days and just milk! I'd be happy if she'd live of chips atm to be honest. She's teething badly too so I'm sure its just a stage, I'm still offering normal meals and snacks and just hoping it passes it isn't nice though is it x

I was told by an NHS Paediatric dietician that young toddlers getting fussy about food is a developmental thing that they should go through - once they can actually wander independently there should be some instinct not to put everything from the ground in their mouths in case it is poisonous. Her advice was not to react, not to substitute. No praise, no reprimand, not even a hint of a raised eyebrow. Don't talk about it. Keep including portions of fruit & veg and importantly let them see you eating it - again in a very ordinary way.

I have one very, very restricted eater (largely health related) & one who eats absolutely everything (favourite meal is salad & squid). They have completely different relationships with food, the big eater has a multi-sensory approach & gets real joy from it and the other would take a pill rather than eat if it was possible. I am sure the pressure the non-eater was under to eat the right things killed off his difficult relationship with food.

Indifference is your friend in this situation and just ride it out. Good luck.

Thank you both, I will try to just ride it out!
Today I've offered cereal, yogurt and fruit for breakfast-small bit of cereal was eaten and maybe a few spoonfuls of yogurt with fruit untouched.
Lunch was a sandwich, cucumber and a few baby crisps-only the crisps eaten.
Dinner was chicken curry, chicken picked out and eaten and rice left 🙄
New day tomorrow lol.

If they're growing at a healthy rate and a healthy height and weight I would try your best not to worry. Although trust me I know that's easier said than done! Mine is 26m and has always been a fruit lover but veg is a total no-no for the most part. She's never even much veg even as a baby but now she even refuses the few she usually eats. I think the only vegetables she eats are cucumber and boiled carrots! Does your DC go to nursery at all? As mine apparently eats amazing there and eats all vegetables etc and at home won't! Even the other weekend we went to a friend's house and she ate a few peas because the other little girl was eating them. Came home and have tried peas twice and nope she won't touch them. Frustrating isn't it?!

I’d just not offer the crisps at lunch I think. Also I would find three things for breakfast a bit faffy to prepare, but that’s up to you.

There’s an amazing dietician on Instagram - Kids eat in color (sic). She gives very similar advice to what’s already been posted - importance of exposure to different foods consistently, even if they remain uneaten. It’s helped me have a more relaxed approach about my 16-month-old. He eats when he’s hungry, which I used to stress about but now don’t. Today he ate:

Breakfast - half a crumpet, two strawberries
Snack - satsuma and a few veggie straw crisps
Lunch - almost nothing (offered avocado, falafel, cheese, bread and butter)
Snack - half a banana
Dinner - whole sea bass fillet, broccoli, lots of pasta in a cream cheese sauce, raspberries

I now understand that he eats a lot when he wants to!

@MeadowHay she used to attend nursery for about 2 months before covid and she did eat well then, hopefully will be the same if/when she returns.
Today has certainly been a new day, porridge and banana offered for breakfast which she left the porridge but inhaled the banana and is now eating scrambled egg and blueberries for lunch!
@Nightmanagerfan you are right, there is the odd meal/day where she will eat loads and I tend to forget about this as im always focused on what she doesnt eat/leaves.

My DD does the same and is 25 months now. I have just been offering fruits and veg along with something healthy I know she will eat i.e. a yogurt or toast. Sometimes she will touch them, sometimes not. But am hoping by just getting used to having them on the plate she will be more inclined to eat them. Hang in there.

Offer food in the order you would like her to eat and offer the food she doesn’t like so much first, you’d be amazed what kids will eat when they’re hungriest!

Then decide if you want to offer her the next thing if she’s not eaten the first thing. Ie,
1 broccoli/greens/veg,
2 rice
3 chicken in sauce
4 fruit
5 yoghurt
6 biscuit / crisps / cake /jelly / whatever

Also you could mix the rice in with the curry so there’s no eating around the food she doesn’t want