Am I missing something?

[Laurr]

How do you get anything done with a newborn?? (4 1/2 weeks old)
Am I doing a terrible job? I’ve not got a ‘difficult’ baby I don’t think. But I haven’t even managed to get a shower whilst I have had him during the day and have to wait for his dad to get home. The day goes so fast and it seems like he sleeps in short unpredictable intervals and I don’t know how people manage to do normal things like get ready and cook, clean etc.
Any advice appreciated
Am I doing something wrong?

No you're doing nothing wrong; you're keeping a small human alive, which is the most important job you can do. Everything else can wait.

It does get easier when they can be put down/on a play mat/in a bouncer for a few minutes - but I still found it all consuming for the first 4-5 months or so (basically until she started going 'to bed' and we got our evenings back).

Thanks @Ihaveoflate he will go in the bouncer but it doesn’t occupy him long

I also habe a 4 week old and am amazed at where the time goes! My day is mostly taken up with breastfeeding (so much breastfeeding) and napping when baby naps because he sleeps very little at night.

Luckily, my husband has been doing all the housework and cooking and looks after the baby during our naps. Unluckily, he’s back to work tomorrow.

I’m determined to keep my morning routine (shower, dress, make up) and daily walk to still feel human, but this is going to be tough without my husband holding the baby while I shower. Have also set myself a housework schedule, aiming to do 30 mins a day to keep on top of everything

By the end of the week I’m sure I’ll look back at these goals and laugh, while still dressed in my pyjamas and staring around a trashed house, with a walkies deprived dog running around frantically 🙄

You are doing nothing wrong. The newborn phase is the worst in my opinion, its so relentless. I remember once id decided to try and make myself poached eggs on toast for lunch, my husband came home from work to me in tears on the sofa with my DS, some half poached eggs still on the hob and toast still in the toaster.

I dont BF so cant comment on that, but do you have a sling. That was a real saviour when my son wouldnt be put down because it meant I could get stuff done around the house. Showers still had to wait until the end of the day though! I can recommend the close caboo sling, or if you want something a bit more structured that will also work with older babies, the Ergobaby Omni 360.

I think also someone said that I should lower expectations for myself. I aimed to just watch a few episode of a series on Netflix. Literally nothing more. It DOES get better. My son is now a few days away from 5 months and I can pop him on his playmat where he'll roll around and entertain himself for a bit. I think its started getting a bit less relentless at 8 weeks, and from there it got very slowly better all the time. Hang in there, the newborn phase is all worth it in the end!

I have a little girl the same age. I've just come to accept housework is almost impossible as this point! Sounds unbelievable since some days I'm at home all day. It was more stressful when I had certain goals set out for the day e.g. dishes, hoovering, but I've put it further down my priorities now and try not to fret about it. It's so hard with a little one, isn't it? Mine also sleeps irregularly and very short periods too, sometimes even just 10 minute naps. Sometimes she wants to just be constantly attatched to me too. Many a time have I started a chore or I'm halfway through a shower and I have to get out and see to her. If you can, ask family or friends to help. Sometimes that can help you do just a little bit. Or if they're kind enough, they might help you out, my MIL often offers to do the dishes hope youre enjoying you're little one, congrats!

@Nelbert19
Sounds like you’re doing much better than me! Mine is already back at work and I’ve found it so much harder and trying to resist the temptation to ha d the baby over the second he gets through the door.
I haven’t been out with the dog and the baby on my own yet, I think that will be a challenge in itself!

@Letsallscreamatthesistene
Thank you That’s good to hear and yes I have got a sling but I haven’t worn it in the house yet, that didn’t even cross my mind to be honest, I’m trying that tomorrow!!
I’m lucky that he is very settled at night and come 10/11pm he is out until 2/3 and then again until 6 so maybe he is just tiring himself out during the day

@Laurr

Ha things are only vaguely under control because I’ve still got my husband helping. Pretty certain everything will have gone to pot by tomorrow afternoon!

I found a sling made things more possible. But we had a cleaner despite me being off for the year on the basis that ‘all fed, none dead’ was the aim. Also, if the baby isn’t an efficient feeder than you’ll be trapped when they’re tiny. This does get better. (I assume you’re aware of cluster feeding...I wasn’t).

DH once came home to find me in tears in the bath with DS1 shouting at me from the Moses basket which was drawn up next to the bath. I think I just sobbed “he was asleep but woke the minute I stepped into the bath”). DH quietly removed DS1.

@Razpoot I’m glad I’m not the only one! I’m going to try and brave a shower tomorrow with him in the doorway in the bouncer. I just had a bath with him today (probably not meant to do that but nevermind!) hope you’re enjoying your little one too, luckily he doesn’t know the house is a mess or my hair hasn’t been washed in way too long!

This is completely normal. Basically if the baby is fed and reasonably clean most of the time, you are doing great. If you ever manage to have a shower yourself, you are Olympic standard.

(I remember a colleague about to go on maternity leave telling us she wasn't sure what she was going to do with all her time, but would probably learn Spanish. There were two of us who already had children - we exchanged glances and chuckled darkly)

Some MNers will tell you they finished a PhD, started a business and travelled the world with their newborn.

For many of us it was nothing like that and impossible to do anything.

For some of us it was hell on earth.

Depends on the baby!

If you are managing to get him to feed and sleep enough that he isn’t screaming all evening, and he is sleeping reasonably ok at night, then you are doing well IMO