Baby sleeping On her own

[Blak]

Hi there FTM here, my DD is 9 weeks old and for the past week or so she’s only been going down to nap in our room in her Moses basket anywhere else and she is unsettled and doesn’t nap for long at all. I am sitting in the bedroom at the minute when she naps and only leaving briefly to do little things I.e bring some clean washing upstairs. I know the guidelines say to always let your baby sleep with you but I have a baby monitor that is a camera and you can hear everything she is doing too. What is everyone’s opinions on leaving her with the baby monitor on in my room but checking on her every 15 mins or something so I can get simple housework bits done or take a quick shower?

I did that, but its a really personal choice. I also did a load of research and read papers on SIDS before making the decision.

@Letsallscreamatthesistene thanks for the reply- what was your findings of your research?

All baby monitors have a lag of 20s (longer with video depending on your wifi signal) which is why it’s recommended all naps and sleeps occur supervised . I realised this the hard way when my DS began choking (7 months so above the age advice) and the alarm hadn’t even sounded. Luckily DH was upstairs and managed to knock the offending item out (it was a bit of fluff from his cellular blanket). So I would say don’t take a chance especially at this age.

Honestly I think the majority of parents do this. I’ve had two and with the second I started putting her upstairs to nap from younger than your DD as she was constantly disturbed otherwise (with a video monitor). As long as you follow the safe sleep guidelines (eg empty cot) I think it would be fine. You need to shower/eat/use the loo if nothing else! I honestly think telling mothers they can’t leave their child alone for a moment for 6 months is incredibly unhelpful anxiety provoking advice.

I would get washing, tidy up/move stuff between rooms etc but I wouldn’t shower as I wouldn’t want to be too far out of earshot really.

DS napped in our bedroom/his room way before six months - probably about twelve weeks. When he started to need dim light & quiet for a proper nap, the basket was no good any more. It is a really personal choice but I would have been beside myself having to stay with him for every nap and night time sleep up to six months.

@GrumpyHoonMain our monitor has a lag of about 1 second, if that. We live in a flat so I can hear DP soothing or singing to DS during the night as well as hearing it on the monitor, it’s nowhere near 20s. That does sound like a scary experience, though, glad all was OK.

I believe that guidelines state for baby to sleep with you at this age as they use your breathing to regulate their own so having a video monitor wouldn't help with this. Have you tried a sling to get things done? Or bringing the Moses basket downstairs in the daytime

Hey how I got things done when my little one was young, was I had a bouncer one upstairs and one downstairs for handyness that i placed a folded blanket in to support him so hes not seated as such kinda laid down, (his neck wasn't flopping down) and i showered and did washing etc with him in the same room I used this time to chat and sing to him when he was awake and then when he napped this allowed me to nap. Not the answer to your poshlt but I found this system worked for me as I was anxious to leave him alone xx

I was in the room with my daughter for all sleep up to 6 months but I was very much in the minority. My understanding is that the risk of sids is significantly reduced if you do so, although reasons why are not clear.
We had a family member die of sids so I may have been more risk averse than other people. People weigh up risk level and do what fits best for their own family.

My ds slept in his carry cot in the living room for daytime naps, either on the pram or on the floor. But we had no other children or any pets around.
I started putting him upstairs for naps around 5/6 months

I had a crib upstairs and a Moses basket downstairs and she had her naps in those when I was in the house. At that age (from birth) I tried to keep the downstairs noise normal so her daytime naps were different to her going to bed at night.
She's been a good sleeper through the night and goes to sleep herself but even now at the age of 13 months needs she's settle during the day to go to sleep.
I couldn't have been restricted to one place for her to nap as when she was little I used to doing bits of housework and prep meals.
Sorry I'm no help OP! Maybe bring the Moses downstairs during the day?? X

It's fine. Most parents do this. It's normal. Don't let scaremongers scare you.
It can actually help their sleep not to be disturbed by you all the time. That was my experience anyway.

When DS was tiny, I read that when they’re that young, the sound of your breathing helps them regulate their breathing. So if I were you I’d probably stay in the same room the majority of the time until she’s a little older.

Babies who sleep in a room which adults are less likely to die from SIDS. SIDS is currently on the rise in the U.K. Its your baby so it’s for you to risk assess but a video monitor won’t help as babies who are dying from SIDS don’t make a noise or move.

You can have a super quick shower in less than 5 minutes.

I did this and started at around your baby's age and she is now 5 1/2 months old. I have a video monitor that doesn't have a lag and baby also wears a sensor that alerts me if she has shallow breathing/stops breathing, rolls over and her temp. Most parents do it, although they might not own up to it for fear of being judged but you have to make the decision for yourself. Based on research, keeping the baby with you until 6 months is recommended because of SIDS but I would have gone mad if I couldn't have a single moment to myself for the first 6 months of my baby's life. I take all the necessary precautions and feel comfortable with my decision.

Thank you all for your opinions and answers I really appreciate it. I know my monitor doesn’t have a lag as I tried it when we first got it when I was pregnant.

@EventRider1 what is that sensor called and where can I get one from it sounds very handy and reassuring to have.

As a PP said, the reason it is recommended is because it is thought that having you in the room with them helps regulate their breathing. It's not about you being there watching them so you can step in if there is a problem (and obviously you can't do this at night anyway as you're asleep when they are).

However, I honestly think the vast majority of parents do leave their babies to sleep alone for naps before six months, at least sometimes. Certainly once you're on the 2nd/3rd/4th child it becomes much harder to get them to sleep in the same room as you as they are constantly being woken up by their older siblings.

@Blak it is called a Sense-U monitor. I got mine from Amazon in a sale but they have some on eBay too which are a bit cheaper. It just clips on to their nappy or baby grow. You do need to make sure it is on something snug fitting as if it is on loosely, you will get a false read in which is a bit of a shock when the alarm starts going off in the middle of the night. It also links to your phone so you don't have to carry around another monitor.

@Blak if it helps, my LO slept for most daytime naps alone in the pram. For hours. Semi-supervised but not by a monitor or anything. It's very much a feeling thing, if your baby was healthy and is well and you feel safe about this, I would not worry. Agree with PP, most parents would find this wrong but hey.

I didn't follow that guidance at all. Sorry but for 6 months I cannot keep watch every time my baby closes his eyes. Meals to cook, shit to do. And the second time a toddler to entertain.