Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Too Old ??

44 replies

whoisit · 16/10/2004 16:30

Changed my name here - I'm almost 38 - have a DD whos almost 4 and can't decide whether to try for another. DH says he would like another but is not pressuring me. I keep jumping from yes to no with no really strong feelings either way. My age worries me a bit with the increased various risks but I would hate to find out in 10 years time that I regretted not having another. I love DD dearly but currently work full time (which I like ATM)& with another one, bigger changes would have to be made I guess. I need some wise words MNetters.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

pixiefish · 17/10/2004 14:50

Go for it- if you feel happy- when I had dd at 34 (same as you) I asked the consultant about the added risks with my age and he said I was a young mum to be I don't think 38 is old to have a baby

dawnie1 · 17/10/2004 14:59

If your only worry is age then you should definately go for it!! My SIL has just had her first baby at 40 - not her choice they had fertility treatment for years and their dd is the result of the 4th round of IVF. My SIL is much fitter and healthier than me who is 10 years younger. Your still young.

steppemum · 17/10/2004 15:02

I had ds at 35 and the next one will be when I amd 38, next March. I don't think the age is a worry, but as someone else said, is the age just an excuse covering other worries? Only you really know, but I don't think you'd regret it, if you are serious;y toying with the idea.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Original poster

whoisit · 17/10/2004 15:04

Thanks all - rather an overwhelming opinion then ! I'll keep you all posted !

OP posts:

Lonelymum · 17/10/2004 15:12

I was 38 when I had my youngest child. I didn't feel old when I was pregnant with him, although I did have a very high result for Downs Syndrome which was very worrying at the time. Went ahead with pregnancy anyway and baby was fine. I honestly don't think 38 is old these days.

motherinferior · 17/10/2004 15:25

38? Pah! I had no option about having my babies late - didn't meet a reasonable bloke till I was 36, and cracked on with it pronto but still didn't have dd1 till I was 37, and dd2 at 40. Go for it!

aloha · 17/10/2004 15:43

ds born when I was 38, and will have dd (!) in Feb when I will be 41. Age actually bothers my dh (47) more than me. I feel fine. Actually have horrible cold atm, but pregnancy has been easy so far.
Money? Well....yes....I try not to think about it. I work from home which helps and ds is three so hopefully will go to nursery from Jan and be subsidised.

overthehill · 19/10/2004 00:20

I heartily agree with all the positive encouragement: I had dd when I was nearly 38 & ds when I was 41, and dh is 10 years older (although he really feels his age). It largely depends how fit you are, I think: I thrived on pregnancy & both labours were fine; in fact ds's was in ultra-quick time (only in hospital 20 mins before he arrived & no pain control needed (nor for dd, actually) & he weighed in at over 10lbs! I work part time & find with a professional but not brilliantly paid job (dh & I earn about the same) we manage OK. Also, don't forget nursery 'vouchers' for 3+ now which help towards nursery/playgroup fees. I think sibling relationships can be so potentially rewarding (our 2 genuinely do like each other & get on fine more often than not) & can provide companionship as well as important lessons in sharing & getting along with others. We were lucky & it may not happen, but believe me, it's worth giving it a go!

polly28 · 19/10/2004 00:36

Do it.

I had dd when I was thirty and ds ten years later so we very much had our lives back.

I am much more relaxed this time but thats partly because it's number two ,partly age(don't give a toss what people think

don't regret ds obviously,we waited ten years for him and feel truly blessed.

jabberwocky · 19/10/2004 01:26

I am glad I found this post as ds and I are pondering the same thing. Wasn't sure I could even attempt a second but had a checkup last week and dr. said if I felt strongly about it he thought we could but would consult with a specialist first. I was 38 when I had ds and would be at least 40 if we did it again.

After reading these posts I am tempted to call him up and say "Ring the specialist!"

prettycandles · 19/10/2004 14:44

I too am 38 and I have set myself a deadline of 40. I don't want to have children after that age. It's only partly from the point of view of the baby's health (and mine of course! ) but more because I want the time and energy to enjoy my family, and, equally important, I want to have a chance to get my body back together and my relationship with dh as partners (rather than as parents) back together.

I would say that if you want more than one child, and have only one at the moment, you should go for it. But if you have more than one it is easier to accept that you will only ever have, say, two children rather than four, than it would be if you had only one child.

iota · 19/10/2004 14:46

had mine at 40 and 42 - no regrets, 5 yrs later

poppyseed · 19/10/2004 15:01

Oh yes, do it!!

38 isn't really old anyway .
Plenty of women have their first over 40. Why don't you discuss your plans with your GP as part of a pre conception check up?

SpringChicken · 19/10/2004 15:05

I thought you were CountessD at first but she since posted - or are u trying to cov er your tracks and you are really her ??????

Anyway, whoever you are, i think it is great idea - I think the worst thing a woman can ever do is regret not having children or not having more children!
I don't think your age is a factor - your not exactly old - there have been alot older than you and i'm sure there will be many more to come. Look at Tranny and Susannah !?!

eidsvold · 20/10/2004 10:03

have a friend who had her first at 38 and then her second this year at 40ish. if you really want to - go for it!!

CountessDracula · 20/10/2004 10:04

no it's not me! I have made no secret of all of the above already on mumsnet so why would I now change my name?!?!?!

wizzysmum · 20/10/2004 10:18

My children were 7, 8 and 10 when the baby arrived in January and she's the best thing that could have happened to us. I was 40 three weeks later and dh is 44. Nobody mentioned my age and I had the quickest labour and delivery ever. I'm lucky that we can afford for me not to work at the moment, even though I feel a bit isolated but she is a fantastic addition to the family. I did work out that assuming they all attend the same primary school I'll have 17 years of school runs (I'll be the one at the gate with the twinkly zimmer frame).

bunny2 · 20/10/2004 18:26

I'm 38 and 8 months pregnant with #2. I didnt plan on waiting this long (ds is 4.5) but it took longer than I thought. Physically I feel fine, I have gained less weight than last time. My favourite saying is "you regret the things you dont do far more than the things you do do" or words to that effect. If in doubt, go for it!

bunny2 · 20/10/2004 18:27

That was a bit disjointed, sorry. But go for it anyway!

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread