Potty training urgh...

[Danascully2]

Had a failed attempt with DS (now just over 3) two months ago, since then he is on cosmocol as I think constipation may have been a complicating factor.
I think he is mature enough because he can hold it in for a good couple of hours, but I'm concerned that he's deliberately holding it in because he is worried about going on the potty or toilet (possibly worried about a poo coming out at the same time?) I am worried that if I persist in making him wait until a wee comes out he might get an infection from holding it in, but if I don't he will never wee in the right place...
We are now on day 3 and the only successes we have had are where I've persuaded him to wait on the potty until the wee comes out but it has really taken such a long time, I think he waits until he just can't hold it anymore rather than letting out whatever is in there.
Any ideas for helping him to relax and let it out? I'm thinking of giving him loads of juice/squash etc tomorrow so he needs to go more often but then I can see myself just clearing up loads of puddles. Also poor older child has already had two days of being ignored while I deal with this and from Monday I will be on my own with them again.
Any ideas very welcome!!

Is the constipation sorted? I wouldn’t even attempt potty training until you have solved the constipation.

From what I remember, we didn't actively potty train, just put her on the toilet to try for a wee every couple of hours. Wore training pants at night. Maybe trying something as laid back as that might help?

Hi, thank you yes constipation has been sorted for a good month or 6 weeks, he's actually done a couple of poos in the potty since we started which have been soft. He is wearing nappies at night still but no nappies at all in the day. I think if I just put him on the toilet/potty every few hours he would sit on it for two minutes without doing anything and have 100% accidents. Although possibly I may have to back off and leave him to work that out for himself... (Then get new carpets!!). I am confident he understands the concept, he gets a bit upset when he has accidents and is very proud of himself when he goes.

Daniel tiger on YouTube helped my son as he's got a song that we learnt and sang together my son was dry day and night in 3 days we had 2 failed attempts before that he was just over 2.5 when trained :) xx

Have a look at the oh crap method but ignore her stuff about over night.

Thank you, I will look up Daniel tiger and oh crap, fingers crossed...

We have watched Daniel tiger and also a video of the pirate Pete potty book which is on YouTube, complete with tinkling wee sound...
I also filled him up with fluids... Have had a few accidents and one very messy poo accident (luckily in the garden...) but also twice he weed straight away in the potty. He is still quite worried about doing a poo though so is still reluctant to wee when he thinks a poo is coming. So some progress but has taken so much effort and I have to do the whole 5 days of this week by myself with 6 year old as well who has been brilliant but is going to be very fed up if I ignore him all week and we can't go anywhere.

My DS did this for a while. It’s not a good long term solution but if I really needed him to go (say heading out on a long car journey in a rush), I’d pop his feet in a shallow bowl of warm water while he was sat on the potty. It’s like why kids pee in the bath, warm water on the feet just naturally makes them pee. Maybe doing this just a few times will help him realise that releasing his wee isn’t scary and gives him a few chances to know how it feels to be successful on the potty?

We also would sit and read a lot of books on the potty, blow bubbles and draw on a Magnadoodle to get him to sit still. Leaving him alone briefly often helped too, he’d pee once I’d left the room. He seemed to like privacy.

Thank you, will bear the warm water trick in mind. Have had a much better day today thank goodness, he even stopped playing, asked for the potty and just did a poo!! Have never been so happy to see a poo... Almost took a picture to send to the grandparents but restrained myself... One thing I still find tricky is knowing how long after taking off his bedtime nappy before getting him to sit on the potty... Hard to tell whether he's just done a massive wee or hasn't done one for a while and is desperate... Any thoughts?