So worried about development after visit to GP

[TheMichelinLady]

I took my 6 month old to the GP today. The issue I took her about turned out not to be a worry at all, but I left feeling sick with anxiety. She is very wobbly, and although her head control is pretty good when on her tummy she is nowhere near ready for a high chair and is a long way from sitting. She is very slumped. She can roll from back to front, but not front to back.

Anyway I asked the GP what he thought, and he asked what had been said when she was last seen by the HV. I said that due to covid, she hasn't been seen since he reviewed her at 6 weeks old. He was absolutely horrified that the HV service has basically not been running, and then became very preoccupied about getting a review in ASAP. I asked him again if he was concerned about my baby's development and he just said to wait for a proper assessment, and "then we can contact the paediatrician if we need to". I was really hoping for a more reassuring answer than that.

He did say that she's a large baby (despite only being on the 9th centile at six weeks) and this might be affecting her sitting etc. Unfortunately we don't have growth charts because she hasn't been properly weighed for months, but she has definitely ballooned - perhaps too much?

Not sure why I'm posting, think I just need a hand hold
She is my first baby and I just feel like we've been totally abandoned.

All babies develop at their own rate, my DD was one of the last to crawl but is now I've of the first to start walking.
Have you got an appointment with the HV sorted?

I would see it as a positive that the GP is on the ball and is looking into things. Hopefully it will be absolutely nothing to worry about at all but it's better to check things and all be fine rather than carry on regardless if something was amiss.

Try not to worry - easier said than done, I know. You're on the right path to having it checked out, but please try to remember babies do go at their own rate. Mine got to 10 months without ever rolling.

Things change really quickly, too. Sometimes a skill that seems months away is mastered in days, they really can surprise you.

I really feel for you, with the CV19 and no HV. I had my baby March 2019 and am so sad for new mums now.

Re weight - they tend to pile it on JUST before they do a big new thing! I think leaping up more than two percentiles is a flag, but not necessarily a concern by itself. And context is key - what's her height, percentile?

Let me know how you go!

I know what you mean about being abandoned by the HV service. My baby was born at the end of March, hasnt seen anyone since the end his 6 week check. He was born on the 95th centile for weight and because of this was put on a 'healthy weight' pathway. At the time I asked what this meant and was told that he'd be weighed more than usual as big babies weight tends to fluctuate a bit more. Despite trying to contact them twice about this, ive heard nothing. Nobody calls me back. Its like the service has never existed. It outrages me.

They do it in their own time, try not to panic.

My son showed no interest in crawling what so ever and then literally just started one day out the blue. Only started sitting up around 6 months, only thing he ever did ‘on time’ was roll over front to back X

I think it sounds like the GP couldn’t remember off the top of his head what normal development is for a 6 month old so was relying on the health visiting assessment and then blundering around a bit. It’s normal that after the 6 week check that you don’t have another development review until 9-12 months and that’s because all babies do things at different stages. My 6 month old DS can’t sit up and only recently started rolling both ways but I know he’ll get to where he’s supposed to be in the same way that my DD did as she wasn’t interested in sitting at that age either.

Doctors drive me crazy when they don’t say what their concerns are & leave an already anxious patients more worried. I understand why they can’t say too much but they should at least be honest, otherwise your imagination goes into overdrive.
Babies develop at such different rates & the fact that she can role over in one direction is good. Try not to worry, even though it’s easier said than done.

That's really poor from the health visiting service. There's no excuse. Even if they couldn't visit they could surely phone - mine did.

At 6 months my DD could sit, but I don't think she could roll in either direction and wasn't good at tummy time and I worried about that. In general when I look at charts of what she is supposed to have done when, I can say that she didn't do and still isn't doing things in the "proper" order. There were 2 6 month olds in our baby sensory class not sitting and the OT leading the class was not concerned. A friend of mine had a very wobbly sitter by 8 months. So don't panic. I think the variation is huge and often means nothing.

There is a very handy document called What to expect, when?

The big thing to notice is how wide each age band is because children do develop differently, the next thing to notice is that sitting up is in the 8-20 month band.

I'm not saying everything is fine, just that it is too soon to worry (I do know how hard it is not to though).

I hope you get to see you HV soon and that they can put your mind at rest.

You poor thing.

Doctors are quite nervous when it comes to babies, they prefer to leave things to the health visitors!

Your baby wont be the first one to not ever sit up, don't worry! All ours were a bit too small to sit in a high chair at 6 months.
Our first was sitting up really well at 5 months, then didnt walk until 17 months, or talk until just turned 3 (doesn't stop now, and is 'ahead' academically now at 6)! They are all different.

Would be good to see the health visitor, just for your own peace of mind though

My nephew was quite late with sitting And Is a big heavy boy! I completely get why you are feeling worried but keep going with tummy time, swimming is great for this Kind of muscle development if you can get in anywhere and definitely see hv ASAP to discuss, but try not to worry

You know that babies can learn to sit from anything up to 10 months old? My baby didn't sit up till she was literally just before she got to 10 months.
I knew she was ok. If she wasn't sitting at 10 months the health visitor would have seen her but not before.
I remember my baby learnt to roll at 6 months but I never even paid attention to which way she could or couldn't roll and I didn't think any health visitors asked about which way she rolled!

I weaned her at 6 months she couldn't sit so she just wasn't in one of those wooden highchairs she was in one with more support, a material one.

Nothing from what you've said says out of the ordinary or something to worry about.
Not all doctors are good

Mine only sat up at 8 months and I remember being worried about this. Tummy time took ages as well but head circumference being 98th percentile. The fact she is rolling is brilliant! Keep up tummy time.

I personally think your doctor is quite unprofessional. The HV should not be better trained than the doctor, he is your doctor & in the UK, all GPs do loads of paediatrics. If he's concerned, he should have put in a referral straight away rather than rely on the 10-12 months review. He should know what's within the normal range of development for a 6 months old. If I was you and to put your mind at rest, I would call again and request a referral because you will only see someone in 3-4 months and this is not because something is wrong but to put your mind at ease.

Sending lots of love! You're doing a brilliant job mama x

Doctors have to be so careful what they say.. they are very aware of giving false reassurance.. plus sometimes also they aint got bloody clue.. true story

GPs really aren't experts in baby development, so getting someone with appropriate experience to take a look is nothing to worry about.

Honestly? I think it means he doesn’t really know what a 6 month old baby should/shouldn’t be able to do and was hoping the HV would pick up an issue if there is one. And then he was horrified that there are likely a myriad of undiagnosed baby issues out there because of no HV service running.

I think he’s reacted well, trying to get an answer. I don’t think it’s a big deal he’s not a baby development expert, he’s not meant to be.

Probably she's doing things the way she is meant to, when did you/DH sit up?
She may follow that.

Just keep loving her, whatever happens that will never be the wrong course of action.

Best wishes to you both.

I think your doctor is perhaps unsure what a 6 month old should or shouldn’t be doing and wants to pass it to someone who he does know!

I wouldn’t worry at all about a 6 month old not sitting up(as a mum and someone who used to work with babies), two of my own dc didn’t sit independently until about 8 months old and that is well within normal expectations.

Have a look at these ASQ questionnaires that HV use to assess development, it will help you when you talk to them. Bear in mind that there is a range with children of development (bell curve) and most children will be doing most of the things, a few will be doing more than the things listed and a few will be doing some of the things, but not all. Try not to panic, there are also things you can do play wise to encourage them to learn new skills Examples here.

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.southernhealth.nhs.uk/EasysiteWeb/getresource.axd%3FAssetID%3D99698%26type%3Dfull%26servicetype%3DInline&ved=2ahUKEwigrafWkq3rAhXXiVwKHeZrCXcQFjAAegQIBRAB&usg=AOvVaw1e0cwVyE8vXrbgHS6uGiy-&cshid=1598042197512" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">6 month old one

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.southernhealth.nhs.uk/EasysiteWeb/getresource.axd%3FAssetID%3D99686%26type%3DFull%26servicetype%3DAttachment&ved=2ahUKEwijjNfek63rAhXTgVwKHTsTDEsQFjABegQIAhAC&usg=AOvVaw2TI6anFEJvjb-3uiV1tTuI" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">4 month old one

Hi op, if it’s any comfort, my dd couldn’t sit up until she was 11 months-she just used to flop over and didn’t have the strength. Anyway, we were referred for some physio and she was diagnosed with hypermobility. She didn’t walk until she was 18months and never really crawled, just rolled everywhere.

She’s 12 years old now and a perfectly normal child, although she is very bendy!
Best of luck but do please try not to worry.

I wouldn’t worry based on what you’ve said. My baby couldn’t sit up at six months either; now at nearly eight months old she has suddenly started sitting up, pulling herself up to stand and cruising all in the space of two weeks. Your HV should have left you her phone number; if not you should be able to find it on your council website.

Dd is one year old now and only started crawling recently....every baby does things in their own time

I know what you mean about being abandoned by the HV service. My baby was born at the end of March, hasnt seen anyone since the end his 6 week check.

As I’ve said before, it’s ridiculous that we can go to the hairdressers or to restaurants now but not see the health visitor. HVs have a duty of care and yet so many of them seem to be perfectly happy to leave new mums floundering under the excuse of Covid. It’s disgraceful and the government should make them go back to work and yes, make them to do home visits too.

Hi OP I've had the same experience with doctors over things to do with me and I hate it so know where you are coming from.

My DD didn't sit up until she was about 8 months old. One day she just got it. Babies all develop at their own rate and the fact that she can roll (they always do that way first) shows you everything is fine.

I hope you don't get too anxious about this as it all sounds within normal boundaries and I know most healthcare professionals like to pass the buck onto others especially when it comes to babies as they are scared of the responsibility of sending someone away saying it's all ok.

What you've written wouldn't overly worry me. The gp just wants someone better placed, a HV, to look to your baby.

Do you not have bathroom scales to weigh your baby on?