How much do you actively teach your toddler?

[YellowEllis]

My son is 13mo and is apparently speech delayed. He says hiya and nothing else. He's just learnt how to walk.

I'm just worried that maybe his language isn't quite right because I'm not doing enough. I'm quite quiet around him. I've been trying to chat more and repeat certain stuff words a lot but it's not been long enough to see a difference, and I'm not that great at it.

How much do people actively teach a child? Like just taking the time to try and teach animal noises, or body parts. It just feels weird to me, he crawls off to go practice walking or to go play with something. He doesn't seem interested in me pointing at my nose or roaring. I know I'm making excuses to justify not being hands on enough, and I'm working on it. But just thought I'd ask.

According to Google, most babies say their first real words between 12 and 18 months old, so you're absolutely fine.

If you're aware you're not doing much, maybe try singing nursery rhymes - not only is it easier/less mindnumbing for you but research indicates that children who are exposed to nursery rhymes have better speech and literacy in the early years of schooling. Some of them have actions too.

We did a lot of board books (Helen Oxenbury's "Clap Hands" was a particular favourite) some of which were counting or colours. Repetition is key. My brain always counts going upstairs anyway, so I just said that out loud

(With both my sons, their first word wasn't any of those things. It was "ta" - which we hadn't actually used to S1 at all, I just always said it to H when he gave me a drink! About 13 months, I think.)

Only one of my 3 spoke by 13 months, by 3 years they were all roughly the same, blabbering non stop. I don't think 13 months is anywhere near a cause for concern. You both sound lovely and chilled out.

My 16 month old doesn’t say much but he does a fantastic lion roar, I’m pretty happy with that ! My older son didn’t say much until 18 months so I’m not at all worried.

Speech therapists won’t even assess a child until they are 2.

Just try and speak a lot to your child, tell them what you are doing, when you go shopping point out things to them, at the playground say oh look a swing etc. Sit and read books together pointing out different objects, sing songs, play kids music in the car... other than that you can’t really do a whole load more!!

Every parent worries about whether their child is doing things at the same time as everyone else's. It's only natural that we worry about them being left behind.

At 13 months, I wouldn't be thinking speech delay.

As for "teaching" them, they literally absorb what you say. Sing songs, play games, repeat what they say, play with animal toys and read books on repeat. That's MEGA learning

Mine is 13 months as well and he isn't saying any words at all. I'm not worried I just chat with him, sing and read books with him. I don't think there's anything to worry about!

My dd is 4 and does have a speech disorder. I remember at a meeting at nursery about it I mentioned that me and my husband just aren't very chatty people. Then her (lovely) keyworker spent 5 mins explaining how if I'm driving with dd in the back I should point out what I can see - she gave many examples! I let it go on for too long so then felt I couldn't say that I know how to chat; I'm just not a natural!

Doesn't sound like a speech delay to me.
My DS only really started saying things around the age of 2 and it all ramped up from there. He's 3 in December and doesn't stop talking now 😂
He also walked at 16m so I don't think there's anything to worry about.

I wouldn’t say that’s a delay at 13m’s

My DS only said about 10 words by 18ms. Basically nothing at 1 year. Now at 2 he doesn’t stop

All I’ve ever done is read to him, point things out. And generally chatted to him. I basically started narrating our life as I’d heard that exposure is key to get them talking.

Doesn’t sound like a speech delay to me, sounds perfectly normal! With my DTs, DD started walking on her 1st birthday, DS was around 14 months when he first started. DD is a chatterbox, DS has a speech issue. The HV referred us to book start and we had a lovely lady who came round a few times to teach us some games and things we could try to get him to start talking (he was around 18 months) but we’ve now been referred to a speech therapist after their 2 year check up. DS is quite nasal in his speech, but his understanding is great, and we can understand what he’s saying but others can’t.

The key things we’ve been told to do is to keep explaining things, keep it simple and heaps of praise for giving it a go. With DS, he loves cars and trucks so he’ll line them up, and I’ll point to a car and say what it is. He’ll then point to it and say car. Once he’d got that I added in the colour, so even though he can’t say them I’ll ask him to show me a red car which he can do, sometimes he’ll try to say it as well which is great. He’s now named the cars “mama car” etc and says that. It helps to use stuff they’re interested in for learning, when they were 18 months I was told to just explain and do general chatter and try to encourage him to say the words for things he’s interested in.

They’re now 2.5, and whilst DS still isn’t talking properly his vocabulary has come on leaps and bounds compared to just 6 months ago. He can name his family, has a stab at his own name and can ask for food (in his own way). He’s also made up a sign for juice! His temper tantrums have decreased slightly as he can now make himself understood more which is a bonus.

Hopefully we’ll hear from the speech therapist soon, but thanks to Covid who knows?!

I didn’t actively set out to teach mine, but I always had their buggy seat facing me and chatted randomly to them as we were out and about. Also loads and loads of books - bedtime stories, but also they liked looking through baby non-fiction books with loads and loads of pictures, sea creatures, vehicles, farms or whatever. So they did pick up words from me reading those aloud.

DD spoke sentences at 16 months, I did lots of reading to her, parent facing buggy, narrated everything I did.

I am doing exactly the same as this with my 13 month old son and all he can say is mamamamamamamamamama.

I think doing lots of reading is good if narrating everything doesn’t come naturally to you. If you don’t just read the words but also point at stuff you can see in the pictures you can expose them to loads of words - look, spot has a balloon, a big balloon, a big yellow balloon - etc etc.

But I don’t think your child is speech delayed at 13 months!

Sounds perfectly normal for a 13mo!

I don’t actively teach stuff really but we count things in books together or I’ll talk about the colours of the crayons while we’re colouring in etc

It isn't delayed, 13 months is about right for a first word in context? Whoever has given you the impression that it's delayed? Lots of parents say their child is talking when they begin babbling from 6 months plus, but this is not usually language!

Anyway, no need to actively teach if you don't want to, I didn't with mine as they never responded to that kind of thing, they are both fairly bright.

I just narrate everything I’m doing, as well as reading books and I sing to DS a lot. I often list off what I need to get in the shops and what I’m doing while cleaning etc. He’s 16 months and can only say mam, dad and a few babbling words. I’m not worried because he understands what I’m saying the last couple of months very well.

I find he was more interested in moving/doing things and is only now putting more effort into talking.

17mo DS doesn’t say anything (that I can make out) aside from mooooo lol. He also doesn’t walk. There’s such a wide range of normal that tour DS doesn’t sound delayed at all.
Anyway to answer your question I talk to him all the time I’m with him really, unless he’s pottering around playing. Really simply. And tell him anything he’s looking at. Just basic words repeated over and over.
We do animal noises all the time. We do it using Alexa and he listens intently!

Sounds totally normal to me.

I struggle with talking enough to my DD too, I’m not a particularly talkative person. I try to narrate what I’m doing and point things out as we go but I end up just trailing off after a while when I do that.

What I do instead to keep myself speaking is tell her that I’m going to tell her some things that are red, then i look all around the room and point out anything red and try to explain what it is and does. And then all the other colours.

I also tell her that I’m going to go through the alphabet and tell her an animal that begins with each letter. I try to describe the animal as I go and tell her what noise it makes etc. And then I’ll do the same with foods etc. Sometimes I end up doing it with TV shows and films so she knows all about game of thrones.

I don’t know how much I’m helping with that kind of stuff but it keeps me talking for longer.

Delayed speech at 13 months? Is this yet another current nonsense like never leaving a baby on its own even while you go for a wee? No wonder there's so many mums with anxiety on Mumsnet. Your baby might just perfect to observe rather than do. Just keep talking, bouncing, singing, playing with fingers & toes, look at pictures etc, laughter is great. I wouldn't worry too much for now. Babies learn at their own pace. Just chat to him, smile, silly noises etc. He'll find his voice eventually & then you'll wonder if he'll ever be quiet for 5 mins.

Not sure if OP is coming back, but just in case - have a look at the second fact sheet here.

ican.org.uk/i-cans-talking-point/parents/parent-faqs/