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Share your tips for managing 2 under 2 on own

9 replies

Sprintfinish · 21/08/2020 14:40

DP will be going back to office in a few weeks and I'm struggling to imagine how I'll cope with 21m and 2m DC on my own. DC1 isn't walking yet but crawls and tries to climb up on furniture constantly. DC2 is breastfed and doesn't settle for long unless held. Currently doing well to get 2 straight hours of sleep at a time, to a max of 6 hours a night.

How do others manage? At the moment focused on getting through the day tag teaming with DP, can't imagine how I'll get anything done on my own. Any words of wisdom greatly appreciated!!

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Ricekrispie22 · 21/08/2020 17:18

There's only so much you can do, so just handle the greater need first. If one DC has to wail for a minute while you tend to the other, remember: "This is where they learn life lessons like how to share and wait their turn”.

Try to get your eldest to nap in the afternoon when you baby naps. When the baby’s napping and he’s quiet too, don’t do housework! Just sit and space out. Stare at a wall. Listen to music. Close your eyes. Read a magazine.

If you didn’t get a bath seat for your first child, then make sure you definitely get one for your second! It means you have your hands free so that you can wash your baby and your toddler at the same time.

Save yourself from traipsing up and down the stairs with both kids in tow and get a changing station for each floor of your home. Buy a really cheap changing mat and stash it underneath your sofa to keep things tidy.

Try to involve your toddler in caring for your baby if you can. He might be able to help you out with nappy changes by passing you the wet wipes or a new nappy. My toddler was surprisingly helpful. He entertained the baby, and got stuff when I was stuck on the sofa nursing. His chatter and questions also made for interesting conversations.

Put together a ‘busy box’ with some toys which will occupy your toddler when you’re feeding your baby.

Consider getting a high chair which supports a newborn so you can put the baby in it without worrying about your toddler poking its eyes out. Useful when you need to pee.

Get a thermos mug so you can have a hot drink before it cools down to room temperature!

When you wonder why you ever had your children so close together, don’t forget to step back and focus on the positives of a small age gap. There are lots, trust me, but that’s another thread!

ZooKeeper19 · 21/08/2020 21:11

@Ricekrispie22 oh god this made me laugh, thank you! So nice to read kind responses like this. Helpful too!

@Sprintfinish my LO will be 18m when the baby arrives so reading this with keen interest. Good luck. Sounds like sleep will be a real luxury for a few years still to come...

ConfusedDotCom123 · 21/08/2020 21:20

Have same age difference,
When my baby was 2 months I would keep a sling on me and put her in it while carrying on with toddlers routine tasks.

Bedtimes were a struggle so I would put baby to sleep first and then toddler.

Did lots of outdoors so that I can focus on baby cuddles while toddler played.

Soon enough the baby will develop a routine and slowly it will merge with the toddler

Now they’re 10 months and 30 months and they nap at the same time and go to bed at the same time, wake up at the same time and so everything synchronised.

I really enjoy it. And love their bond.

It’s worth the first few hard months

My advice is, the baby won’t understand as much as the toddler so for now focus as much as possible on maintaining the toddler routine and playing with the toddler and gradually shift your focus to become more fairly about toddler and baby.

I had baby gym, rattles and baby swing at my disposal when both of them wanted my attention.

TV was reserved for tires when toddler wouldnt play independently and wouldn’t let me focus on baby.

I think first 3/4 months are hard and then the baby starts to react and be giggly and your toddler will enjoy them more and you can together guide the interactions and help them be involved

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surreygirl1987 · 21/08/2020 23:00

Ooh following with interest!! I have a 6 week old and a 22 month old and my husband has been lucky to have had the summer at home (teacher) but he's back to work in a week and I have no idea what I'm doing!!

Sprintfinish · 25/08/2020 04:39

Thank you for the advice and reassurance that others have survived this!

Our toddler is a total whirlwind and I feel more of a liability as he can't walk yet, so have to watch out for him pulling himself up on furniture incase he becomes unstable. Really hoping he'll start to walk before DP goes back to office!

I'm trying to identify safe spots for baby so I can pee at some point. Aaah I hope they get on when older and the small gap is worth it!

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Aroundtheworldin80moves · 25/08/2020 06:44

Travel cot- toddlers can't reach into them and accidentally hurt the baby. I used to put the play gym in there.

We went for a walk every afternoon. This caused baby to fall asleep... Then I could concentrate on toddler for an hour. We often went to the park. (A bit harder for a non walker- but we played on slide and swings etc)

If both are crying, sort the quickest thing first. Both want lunch? Make toddlers before feeding baby for example.

CBeebies is your friend.

MsChatterbox · 25/08/2020 07:55

Baby wearing - and learn to feed baby whilst in wrap/carrier. Then you only have to take them out for nappy changes!

Sprintfinish · 30/08/2020 00:29

We have a travel cot which is great for keeping toddler in one place. Did hope it could be sanctuary for baby too but it has zip access on outside which toddler can now open 🤦‍♀️

Baby loves being in carrier, trying to get used to doing things about house wearing it, and have managed couple of feeds 😊

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Tacca · 30/08/2020 01:12

We have the same situation and it is difficult when they disturb each other through the night, but it slowly gets better.

I have no idea how women coped in the olden days with 10 children, only to have a guy come home and say what's for dinner I've had a tough day.

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