Why am I so exhausted?

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So I have a beautiful, perfect little 6 months old. She is really an angel.

I feel like I was lucky from some perspectives: for example due to Covid, my husband was working from home (only part time) since the birth, so we shared the parenting. The first weeks were still extremely hard.

But it was also harder, because due to Covid, I couldn't attend any mom gatherings. So I missed out on a lot of support and friendship because of it. Also none of my family could visit us and help out (they live abroad).

Also, both my husband and me were finishing off Uni (Masters in engineering) in the first 3 months of our baby's life, so that put on us a tremendous extra pressure and work.

But now my baby is 6 months old. I have been sleeping pretty much 6-8 hours at least in the last 3 months and even before, I could sleep a solid 5 hours block every morning. I graduated. I finished pumping. Our daughter is not hard work, but she does require a lot of entertainment from us (as all babies, I guess).

But, why am I still exhausted? When will I feel more energetic?

We go for a walk every day (unless it's raining), I am back on my diet and losing weight. I have time to relax and take a long bath. But I feel like I just need a day or two off. Just to not do anything like during my pregnancy. Just watching rubbish movies all day long.

But the trouble is, my husband feels the same. We try to give each other some time off, but that just makes us even more tired.

So my question is, is it normal? Do you guys feel this exhaustion even though you are actually having enough rest?

I just cannot wait for my baby to go to her childminder... and this also makes me feel guilty. Because all moms cry their heart out, when they put their babies to nursery, but I am not. I took her there a few times to get used it and I felt totally chilled. Is it bad?

I love her, and I love spending time with her, but I want a break. I want to be with myself for a little bit, just to feel myself again.

I am almost 35 by the way, maybe I am just old...

I think it's being 'on' all of the time that's exhausting. So even when they're asleep, part if you is ready to see to them if they wake, or even when you're not actively parenting you might be thinking about what to give for lunch etc. I find it mentally quite draining most days. I also am eagerly anticipating my return to work, as I know from my older daughter that I then enjoy my days at home much mu h more

@Findahouse21
Yeah, you are probably right. I actually still sleep with her. She is in a next-to-me-crib and I sleep in her room. So even when she doesn't wake up, I do, to check on her. And when I fall asleep for a longer block (like 3 hours), then I woke up guilty, that anything could have happened to her while I was sleeping, and how selfish of me to fall asleep. [grid]

Id get back into your own room if i were you. You sound like you need the space

She's 6 months, why are you in her room?

@Rubyroost

1. Because the NHS advice is to keep the baby in the same room until she is 6 months old. Now this is not an age written into stone. Some babies are ready earlier, some later. My baby has 3 days until her 6 months, so I am just in time.

1. Because she wakes up every 2 hours crying... so it's easier to calm her down if I am there. Once she can sleep 4 hours in one go, it makes sense to leave her alone in the room.

1. Because the bed is more comfortable in her room than in my bedroom, so there was nothing to push me to move back to the bedroom.

1. Because it was hot the last couple of weeks, and her room is a lot cooler, than my bedroom.

1. Because I love sleeping with her.

1. Because this is how I found best... and it has nothing to do with my question. It could be, that I only have one room in the house and all 3 of us sleep there. It is not unheard of. My nephew was around 14 years old, when he got his own room... due to financial difficulties.

Ahhhh so she's not 6 months. Yes, we will have to move our kid out later than we would like as he will be sharing with 2.5 Yr old. But I did find when we moved our toddker out when he was little, he woke up less and both of us slept better. In fact he started to sleep through shortly after even tho he was waking up regularly in the night prior to this

I think babies are hard wired to require pretty much constant interactions: that’s how they learn so much in the first few years. But that’s why they are exhausting. It’s draining! It’s emotionally exhausting! And 6 hours a night isn’t a huge amount over a 6 month period.
I have found I’m a much better mum when mine are at nursery because when I’m with them I have the emotional energy to be on it 100%. And when I’m not with them, I can day dream or have a hot tea or go to the loo when I want!
There is nothing wrong with needing a break. It takes a village. But we just don’t have the village culture anymore...so if it takes a few hours at nursery (where your little one is learning all kinds of new skills) then so be it. You are doing great. I think being tired is completely normal. It gets better when you start getting 7/8 hours of sleep and when they can play alone for 10 minutes at a time.

Aw if she wakes every 2 hours crying I'm not surprised you're tired, despite getting lots of total sleep. Also I find kids so emotionally and mentally draining. I was craving a duvet and Netflix day in the early months of my first born! Ironically I only got my energy back when I returned to work!

Total sleep and continuous sleep are VERY different things. You need continuous sleep to feel even vaguely normal.

If sleeping in the same room (after 6mo) is the right thing for you then continue to do so. I found that I was waking my dd up and we all got more sleep in different rooms.

Try to let go of the mum guilt. Not every mum cries dropping their kid off at childcare (also, not every child does either). Its totally normal to need a mental and physical break, and important to get it. Try to stay active, don't slump on the sofa all day but really, you are exhausted because you are a parent!!