Hobbies for 13yo Boy??

[LRHRN]

Our son is 13 and isn't "into" anything!!
He's starting to get lost in the gaming world. He's far from addicted to it and he's not allowed on it all of the time but just struggling find some after school/weekend activities for him to do.
He doesn't like football or sports. We've suggested martial arts, theatre school/dance, athletics, cadets and were running out of ideas.
We live abit out of the way so he's not close to his friends but doesn't seem to be too bothered about even just going out with his mates.
Anyone in a similar situation and have any ideas?
TIA

Get him into coding. He can still use the computer but in a creative way. He might be a little old for Scratch but it is still a good starting point.

Horse riding?

Model building like airfix? Instructions like Lego but more grown up and can be very specialised to vehicle or theme of interest. Lots of YouTube videos of people doing high end stuff for inspiration.

Similarly Warhammer gaming or d&d, perhaps has more social aspects.

He doesnt like any sports? What about fencing, rock climbing, orienteering, table tennis, parlour, lawn bowls, snooker?

It's not that he doesn't like sports as such he just has no desire to play any as part of a team. He's very confident around adults and can hold an adult conversation but melts around anyone his own age.

We have the river Derwent in our back garden and fishing rights but again not bothered.
Hopefully when he's back at school and in a routine and spoken with his friends he may get some ideas from them.
I like the ideas of the models and coding but ideally want him to start moving more

Cycling? Added bonus he can then go and see his mates

River derwent in your back garden... cold water swimming? Junior Triathlon ?
We’ve had this with our DS (14) both DH and I active and enjoy a range of hobbies. He’s just not that bothered about joining ‘in’ with things.
We bought him a home gym set up for Xmas and that’s made a big difference, in that he will go do a workout and very rarely just take himself for a run.
We have had to learn to just relax about it, I hope he figures it all out in his own time. He sounds similar to your DS he’s super
Confident but that doesn’t follow through into group activities. He is better one on one with his friends but even then he goes in peaks and troughs with that too.

I think, at thirteen, you can’t force dc into a hobby. By now, they have generally gravitated into certain areas - sports, acting, music, etc. Also, a lot of teens don’t seem to socialise, in person, but communicate through social media etc.

A lot of the activities mentioned are team sports. Maybe suggest some solitary sports? Book him some golf lessons?

Computer/coding club is a good idea. Or chess?

Stamp collecting- stamps on a particular theme or warhammer where you buy and paint figures and then go to the shop and have ‘battles’. Would he build those expensive large Lego models?
But basically at 13 I don’t think you can force him to take up a hobby. You just have to open up the options to him. Also, you have to accept him for who he is, not who you want him to be

I think at that age you either drag them out for hikes, or they know what they're doing, or you take them to try something out of the ordinary such as canoeing, badminton, parkour, handball, or bring him to a 5k mini marathon and see if he gets the bug! Best of luck op

Yes I agree with everything you've all said. We can't force him but only suggest lots of different options and if he does chose one then great if not it's not the end of the world.
Thanks everyone

DS1 is a big gamer, he enjoys parkour (tricky to find clubs, we got lucky) and bouldering/Rock climbing, which is much more common. He will also happily go swimming, mainly to splash around rather than do lengths.

If you want him to move more I would tell him he has to choose one activity to do once/twice a week. Get some details from local sports clubs and gyms and different activities near you.

I thought he would like scouts too but he doesn't seem keen. That might be something to look into. It would be venture scouts at 13.

Or you might be able to get him to do the swimming/climbing as a family activity.

You have a river really close - any canoe clubs? Paddle boarding?

There isn't any clubs nearby it's crazy.
I've had a chat with him and he said he'd liked to give kickboxing a go but not actually fight or do the grades etc so we're making slight progress and the one local to us do a fitness based boxercise style lesson so we shall see

Maybe if he doesn't like sport and doesn't want to go out something else in the house? One of my ds did textiles. Also drawing - like comic art? Or board games also.

I think lots of kids don't like clubs. Too many people! Gaming is safe as behind computer.

My 13 year old started St Johns Ambulance and was really enjoying it till lockdown stopped it. His unit isn't opening till January unfortunately tho

My son is similar, though he is a few years older. His siblings are very much into sport, performing arts etc and are very sociable, but he is quite insular and not into sport etc. He is musical, but again, as an individual thing, and he isn't interested in playing in a band or anything.
He is a keen gamer, which I have reservations about, but at least he plays online with his school friends and I quite often hear them chatting about schoolwork, University choices etc whilst they are playing, so it isn't all bad. Prior to lockdown he had started to get into some games that involve directly interacting with people too - like Warhammer and Dungeons and Dragons so I would agree with PPs that your DS might also like something like that. You may find that there are even school clubs for that kind of thing, though I suppose its unlikely that they will be running this term. My DS is, as we speak, painting Warhammer figures. He's also keen on other kinds of modelling.
I am also an introvert and though I am better in social circumstances these days I was very similar to my DS when younger. My parents tried to make me do things to "bring me out of myself" and I hated it. I know they meant well but it really didn't help me so I have been very careful not to do the same to DS. He has been offered all the same opportunities as his siblings but I have accepted that he is different and try to support him and show an interest in the things he does enjoy. My DH hasn't quite grasped that, but that's a different story.

fencing (the sport)?
learn an instrument?
volunteering with a neighbourhood association?

I second learning to play an instrument. My 13yo has taught himself to play electric guitar (bought as a birthday present before lockdown) he's pretty good now and is now working his way through the Metallica back catalogue having already mastered his favourite Queen songs.

How about Geocaching? Like a worldwide treasure hunt 😊

Kayaking? Rowing?
Role-playing gaming?

Do you know what? never thought about an instrument and I love that idea 👍🏼
He's very streetwise and popular and confident with friends but new people he shrinks and he's paranoid about being picked on 😫
I'll have a good chat with him about your suggestions xx

If you can afford it, creative suite is great for lots of things eg film and photoshop and graphics. Or coding is a good idea. Get him to use the computer sometimes for things he can have fun. but learn skills at the same time.