Q about naughty toddler - attention seeking or part of growing up?

[AmyRose30]

Hi fellow mums,

I am looking for some advice for my daughter, whose 2 years and 8 months.

She has recently developed a very antagonist attitude. I know all kids can be challenging at this age as they begin communicating more, and trying to assert their preference, but honestly, it’s like our words do not land at all. But worse than this, I feel like she and I are falling into this pattern where she is trying to elicit a reaction from me all the time. I have no idea what I could have done to make her think the only way to get my attention is to be naughty, if anything I was worried that I am too celebratory and praising her for good behaviour (I’ve read this can make kids feel they are only worthy when they are succeeding).

Is this something kids grow out of? Is there anything I can do now to reassure her that she doesn’t need to be conflictual to get my attention?

Any thoughts/ideas/advice would be much appreciated.

It does sound like normal manifestations of the terrible twos- which is, as you recognise, the stage where they test the waters to achieve greater independence. Part of that is testing your boundaries.

Best thing ime is to stay very calm, cheerful, brisk, ensure that what you've decided gets done but without worrying about her attitude.

If she needs to get out of the house she can be lifted out if need be, but she doesn't have to be happy about it. Don't try to force her to feel differently, just concentrate on what gets done. A sense of humour is a good asset here. And endless patience. Model these and eventually she will learn from you.