Dilemma - If I can't get my dts trained by the end of next week, they are going to lose their nursery place, or be moved to a less busier session

[Overrun]

I am literally at breaking point with this, I was determined to be more laid back this time, than I was with my ds1. I have tried off and on since they were 2.5 using various methods, but usually involving them in pants or nothing and using stickers and sometimes sweeties to motivate them, as well as lots of praise.
Dt1 did seem to suddenly get it just before the summer holidays, he did it off his own bat but seemed highly motivated the sweeties, after about a month an half I tried to reduce treats, still praising and giving stickers etc. He completely rebelled and after a hellish month we gave up.
They re started nursery 3 weeks ago (this time in the morning sessions) I sent them in trainer pants as knew they were not ready. They both have about 2-3 poohs a morning so I am back and forth to change them. But I haven't complained once, as know thats the rules.
Then last week, I was taken to one side and told that if this situation didn't resolve say by half term they would have to leave. There are other children there in trainer pants but they don't pooh as much.
I have been really pushing it now, as I dont' want them to lose their place, but am getting to the end of my tether with constant accidents. Having to bribe them on to the potty etc
Now the nursery are saying they could go in the afternoon sessions rather than leaving as it is quieter. Whilst this might be kind of their part, I don't want them to move, to leave their friends etc

So what do I do, keep pushing them, or give up and let them be moved?

Sorry its so long

Am I completely naive or does anyone else think that nursery sounds very mean!!
If they're not ready you can't force them.
I would tell the nursery to stick it BUT I know that's not the grown-up adult thing to do so I'd let them be switched to afternoons and I'm sure with you being more relaxed about it too they'll be dry in no time.
Also, try talking to a member of the staff about it just to see if they have any tips.
It may make them more sympathetic to your cause.
Good Luck!!

Have just emailed you Overrun

isn't it discriminatory? Someone here must know. I do think this is outrageous of the nursery.

Sorry Overrun - haven't seen previous posts - how old are DTs?

The nursery can't do this- unless they have a poicy saying so,which would be rather odd! All children go through peaks and troughs of development,you're not telling me in a nursery that others aren't having accidents?

Fair play, you are going in to change them, so how exactly does this inconvenience the staff? it's part and parcel of looking after 2 and 3 year olds.

Change sessions if you really feel you must but don't let them make you LEAVE

This stinks!

They surely can't do this. Unless they have a rule about only accepting potty-trained children - in which case they shouldn't have offered your DTs a place to begin with.

Whatever you do, don't keep pushing: you'll give them both a big hang-up about it and make stacks of extra work for yourself.

Sorry but i think it is totally wrong what they are saying & not on why is there reasons for wanting to do this what is the problem? If you go & change them when they poo then what is the reason they want them trained or make them move to afternoons.

Personally i would not want to move them if they have made friends & are happy.

justaboutmanging is right. Ring your Early Years team at the council tomorrow (am assuming you are in UK?)

Coppertop very recently posted a link re continence policy - they are not allowed to discriminate.

Let me know if you want the link.

I don't think you can do it whilst you are under such pressure. If you are anxious about it it will affect the children.

No Nimnom I don't think the nursery are being very fair either, especially as Overrun is the one changing the nappies.

My DS went to nursery in pull-ups because he was too stubborn to use a potty or toilet and they even changed him. I didn't realise that some nurseries refuse to do this. Admittedly it was only 4 or 5 times over 2 terms but even so they didn't complain. He got it in the end although he was well over 3. I would have thought that they would rather have a child in nappies than lots of accidents to clear up.

I suppose if you change to afternoons they will lose their place in the morning sessions? Maybe swap until they are both trained and then they can go back.

Or what about if one twin is more amenable than the other, would they take just one in nappies and both of them stay doing mornings?

Good luck getting it sorted though.

Thanks for all your replies. I just feel like its pressure for me, its pressure for the dts as well (which is worse). They are 3 in a few weeks.
Its a private nursery/playgroup and they do say in their literature that they must be toilet trained.
They took them at 2.5 last April in the afternoon sessions, and then this term they moved to the morning sessions which are longer. I told them that they still were not trained and they didn't say anything when they started.
I tried looking for anything regarding this on the internet, but get the impression that because they are private they can say this.
What annoys me so much, that other children are in trainer pants, but just don't happen to pooh as much. My dts can't help having nice healthy bowels, as I understand it, going 2-3 times a day is healthy.
The afternoon sessions are only a possibility as well, dependent on them getting other takers.
I know my dts are emotionally and intellectually ready for this, they love going there.
ARGh, even my dh stayed off work to help today, but my instincts tell me we will get no where with this however many techniques we try, as they are just not ready

Just an update really in case people are hanging on the end of the seats I have basically said that they can switch to afternoon sessions. Dt2 is just not ready, and I don't think it is fair to him to keep trying Do feel really sad about it all though
And dtw, dt1 has a temp of 40.4 atm, so clearly very ill, so I think it would be impossible to assess his readiness this week, as he has been incubating this really nasty virus