I've been reading this thread today and I feel such a sense of foreboding that it is our future. It just rings so true.
Need help with DD and her mental health? http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3994823-Need-help-with-DD-and-her-mental-health
DD1 is nearly 8. Diagnosed with autism (demand avoidant profile) and sensory processing difficulties. She returned to school last Wed and has had daily meltdowns since. All the things the OP talks about are already present in our family life except, for the moment, DH and I are still together. I had a breakdown in Aug 2018 when she started school. I'm still in recovery and taking 2 anti-anxiety medications daily.
I just feel lost. I don't know what to do in order to have a reasonable family life. I want to write 'normal' family life but I know I shouldn't think like that. Every day just feels like a battle that will not end until I die.